It probably isn't a good idea to blog while in between bouts of crying - but I don't know what else to do. When I need to, the blog is here for me to get it all out.
He left. And I am taking it pretty hard. The stupid ship had mechanical delays which delayed Eric's departure by 4 hours. You'd think it's a good thing to get in a few more hours but throw in a cranky toddler whose nap was all screwed up it makes for a crappy good-bye. Aaron and I did go down to the jetty but left before the ship set sail as the sailing ship would've traumtised him. If his reaction to one of us being whisked away on a sea doo or boat is any indicator we know better.
I feel like I was denied a proper good-bye as my damn cell phone died as Eric called me to tell me details of where they would be sailing. He called me again (I came home and threw it on the charger) as we were watching them sail away from a look out spot but I didn't answer the phone in time and he didn't answer when I called him back.
I am taking this really hard. And will be crying a lot. I am trying not to in front of Aaron as to not upset him. I really don't know how the hell I am going to get through this. I just want to go home.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
In My Backyard
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
early
I don't think this post will find it's way to you this morning. Mt lap top is running at 6%. I knew I'd be an hour early for work so I grabbed my lap top to sit in Starbuck's and catch up before going to work.
To say that I've been busy and emotionally overwhelmed, would be an undersatement. While I am getting used to the idea of Eric's impending departure, the idea is so surreal as to how soon it wil actucally happen. Aaron is my main concern. He has gotten super used to Eric and some days even prefers him to me. I don't how this deployment will effect him.
One thing I am not sure about is if I should take him down when Eric's ship set sail or not. I want to see it and want to support it, but it may be traumatizing to see a big warship whisk his daddy away. My first instinct when Eric leaves is to go running back to Vancouver and stay at my father's where I have an opened ended invitation (unless he has oiusequests, which he tells me before weeks in advance) and and suround my self with my Vancouver friends and immersee myself in family, social and kids activities. There usually is never dull moment over there. Unike here. I have friends here, but the roots just aren't the same as home.
Most people in the military lifestyle make friends at their postings. I have made a few but they always move or were the gossip queens that like to cause drama and those friendships only last a season when a person's true colours come out and those are the type of women I prefer to not be friend's with or get sucked up in their drama.
I think living not too far from home I've been able to maintian friendships that normally would've fizzled. This has helped me and hurt me. If I we were at a base n the otherside of the country, Id be force to make new friends an dplan roots.
T'hings are different as I have a fulltime decent job. This means that as I am working so much, there is no time to spend money due to being tied down to work that we shoul be abe to save money for a down payment rightt? .... Ack we shall see.
I want to buy some camping gear and whisk Aaron away on the weekends getting to know this beautiful Island we live in on. If I can get my shit together and my house organized and meals planned, I should be able to go away on the weekend and come back and have stories to tell and memories to build in Arron's brain.
We shall see how this goes. As only time will tell.
To say that I've been busy and emotionally overwhelmed, would be an undersatement. While I am getting used to the idea of Eric's impending departure, the idea is so surreal as to how soon it wil actucally happen. Aaron is my main concern. He has gotten super used to Eric and some days even prefers him to me. I don't how this deployment will effect him.
One thing I am not sure about is if I should take him down when Eric's ship set sail or not. I want to see it and want to support it, but it may be traumatizing to see a big warship whisk his daddy away. My first instinct when Eric leaves is to go running back to Vancouver and stay at my father's where I have an opened ended invitation (unless he has oiusequests, which he tells me before weeks in advance) and and suround my self with my Vancouver friends and immersee myself in family, social and kids activities. There usually is never dull moment over there. Unike here. I have friends here, but the roots just aren't the same as home.
Most people in the military lifestyle make friends at their postings. I have made a few but they always move or were the gossip queens that like to cause drama and those friendships only last a season when a person's true colours come out and those are the type of women I prefer to not be friend's with or get sucked up in their drama.
I think living not too far from home I've been able to maintian friendships that normally would've fizzled. This has helped me and hurt me. If I we were at a base n the otherside of the country, Id be force to make new friends an dplan roots.
T'hings are different as I have a fulltime decent job. This means that as I am working so much, there is no time to spend money due to being tied down to work that we shoul be abe to save money for a down payment rightt? .... Ack we shall see.
I want to buy some camping gear and whisk Aaron away on the weekends getting to know this beautiful Island we live in on. If I can get my shit together and my house organized and meals planned, I should be able to go away on the weekend and come back and have stories to tell and memories to build in Arron's brain.
We shall see how this goes. As only time will tell.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Just The Two of Us
It’s something I had better get used to and quick. Come in about two weeks time it’s just going to be Aaron and I for the next 6-7 months. I am getting a crash course what it’s like to be a single working mom.
Everything falls on me. Lunches, dishes, daycare drop off and pick up. Getting everything ready the night before. Everything. I am a little bit overwhelmed. Eric has done a lot around the house and has been key in getting us all out the door and to daycare and work on time. He’s out for the next two nights (for work) so it’s something that I am getting used to.
If tonight’s dinner (frozen pizza) and my kitchen is any indicator it’s going to be a messy (household wise) 6 months.
I wrote a huge post the other night that got lost. I got into the nitty gritty on my feelings of Eric’s upcoming deployment and my feelings of him being Aaron’s primary caregiver as I’ve been working fulltime and going to school part time. Alas it’s not meant to be blogged about at this time I wrote it on my lap top and it overheated and shut down and I haven’t been able to recover it.
The lap top was given to me and Eric just ordered me a new one so hopefully I won’t lose a post again. I haven’t had a new PC since ’04 so it’s needed and overdue.
Today could’ve been a lot worse considering how it started by me discovering Eric had unplugged the crock pot last night to charge my iPod and I woke up to not cooked chili. (I am not mad as we only have ONE electrical outlet in the entire kitchen and he was doing me a favor as I wear my iPod at work and it get’s me through my day. It is encouraged, not something I would normally do in the workplace.)
I was 2.5 hours late for work as I had to take Aaron to get his blood drawn. I expected a lot of tears and hard day ahead of me, but it wasn’t that bad. The first lab we went to sent us to the hospital to the out patient lab to get Aaron’s blood drawn as they “couldn’t process” his one requisition. I took him to lab opened early to save some time, instead of waiting for the one I normally go to open which has awesome staff that are great with kids. I have to say to lady who collected Aaron’s blood this morning was awesome and worth the wait. He didn’t flinch or make a peep. She has an angel’s touch. And I was so proud him.
My little angel is sleeping and that’s my queue to clean the kitchen and make tomorrows lunches a chore I hate with a passion.
Everything falls on me. Lunches, dishes, daycare drop off and pick up. Getting everything ready the night before. Everything. I am a little bit overwhelmed. Eric has done a lot around the house and has been key in getting us all out the door and to daycare and work on time. He’s out for the next two nights (for work) so it’s something that I am getting used to.
If tonight’s dinner (frozen pizza) and my kitchen is any indicator it’s going to be a messy (household wise) 6 months.
I wrote a huge post the other night that got lost. I got into the nitty gritty on my feelings of Eric’s upcoming deployment and my feelings of him being Aaron’s primary caregiver as I’ve been working fulltime and going to school part time. Alas it’s not meant to be blogged about at this time I wrote it on my lap top and it overheated and shut down and I haven’t been able to recover it.
The lap top was given to me and Eric just ordered me a new one so hopefully I won’t lose a post again. I haven’t had a new PC since ’04 so it’s needed and overdue.
Today could’ve been a lot worse considering how it started by me discovering Eric had unplugged the crock pot last night to charge my iPod and I woke up to not cooked chili. (I am not mad as we only have ONE electrical outlet in the entire kitchen and he was doing me a favor as I wear my iPod at work and it get’s me through my day. It is encouraged, not something I would normally do in the workplace.)
I was 2.5 hours late for work as I had to take Aaron to get his blood drawn. I expected a lot of tears and hard day ahead of me, but it wasn’t that bad. The first lab we went to sent us to the hospital to the out patient lab to get Aaron’s blood drawn as they “couldn’t process” his one requisition. I took him to lab opened early to save some time, instead of waiting for the one I normally go to open which has awesome staff that are great with kids. I have to say to lady who collected Aaron’s blood this morning was awesome and worth the wait. He didn’t flinch or make a peep. She has an angel’s touch. And I was so proud him.
My little angel is sleeping and that’s my queue to clean the kitchen and make tomorrows lunches a chore I hate with a passion.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
I Got a B!
Biology is done! I am exhausted. Working fulltime and going to school part-time is not recommended!
My hard work paid off. I have banged off one of many pre-reqs for Nursing. A C + was what I needed, I got a mid B. Not too shabby considering I have had a hard time finding time to study with work. It’s time to hit the hay.
Night All.
My hard work paid off. I have banged off one of many pre-reqs for Nursing. A C + was what I needed, I got a mid B. Not too shabby considering I have had a hard time finding time to study with work. It’s time to hit the hay.
Night All.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Crap I Am Dealing With But Shouldn't
I have been busy beyond belief! Working full time and going to school part time will do that to you.
-Refilling perscriptions for Aaron because people have been over dosing him!
-Crabby people at work
-WHEN Eric will be leaving. We have an idea as to where but NOTHING has been confirmed. Families and sailors usually have months if not a YEAR notice for long deployments. We have a tentative date which keeps changing, which is messing up my plan because I can't plan anything!.
- A nagging cold/wheezing phlegmy cough that will NOT go away.
- Insecurities at work. (I know one is to not blog about work, the job I do is easy the people not so much.)
- Vancouver rioters - I am ashamed of my city and the assholes that premeditated to riot.
That is all.
-Refilling perscriptions for Aaron because people have been over dosing him!
-Crabby people at work
-WHEN Eric will be leaving. We have an idea as to where but NOTHING has been confirmed. Families and sailors usually have months if not a YEAR notice for long deployments. We have a tentative date which keeps changing, which is messing up my plan because I can't plan anything!.
- A nagging cold/wheezing phlegmy cough that will NOT go away.
- Insecurities at work. (I know one is to not blog about work, the job I do is easy the people not so much.)
- Vancouver rioters - I am ashamed of my city and the assholes that premeditated to riot.
That is all.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Oh Hockey Day!
Today is a glorious day! I am headed to Vancouver in a few short hours sans boys. It's game day for game 2 of the Stanley Cup final between the Vancouver Canucks and Boston Bruins. *For those of you who don't follow hockey*
I'll be donning this:
and sipping cold beer to wash down the food I shouldn't be eating as I hoot and holler at the big screen TV among friends.
It's playoff hockey in Vancouver folks! I think this may be bigger than the Olympics! Downtown tonight is going to be a gong show and I plan to be there in the thick of things.
And it's going to be in the 20's. (68-75 F) for my American friends. Oh Hockey Day!
I'll be donning this:
It's playoff hockey in Vancouver folks! I think this may be bigger than the Olympics! Downtown tonight is going to be a gong show and I plan to be there in the thick of things.
And it's going to be in the 20's. (68-75 F) for my American friends. Oh Hockey Day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)