Try Not To Look So Sad

That's what Eric said to me as I was leaving to go out last night when I asked him how I looked. I've turned into a bit of an insomniac lately. I am going on 3 days of very little sleep. Throw in a teething toddler and you have one tired me.

I have a lot of stuff on my mind. The lack of job, higher than normal FSH levels, a son who is going for an autism assessment at some point and then some. And I am not sleeping well. I still haven't even got a date for Aaron's assessment. I don't expect any pull or leeway, BUT a date for an assessment would be nice so I can plan my life for the next month.

So with all this going on, I went out with a friend last night. We went to a Bluegrass show. On of her friend's was performing so I tagged along. The first thing I thought I we walked into the venue was "OMG were the youngest people here by 20 years. WTF was I thinking??"

I didn't take me long to get into it. For my love of country music, I am surprised that I never gave Bluegrass music a chance. I got into and the evening passed fairly quickly taking my mind off things.. I was home early and thought I might finally pass out due to exhaustion, but Aaron saw that it wouldn't be the case.

We put him to bed early for him. He went down before 7:30pm and was passed out in 5 minutes. We didn't hear a peep from him until 12:30am. Gah. To him it was a long nap and he was up from then till 2:30am. I couldn't settle him evening taking him to bed wouldn't work. He tossed and turned, put his feet in my face ans started to kick. GAH. I can't leave him to his own devices when he is in pain. I didn't know if he just wanted to play because he wasn't tired or if he was in pain.

My boy needs some serious schedule resetting. He was up at 6:30am for daycare. I am only doing half days for him right now. I could've had Eric drop him off, but as this is his first real day I wanted to drop him off and get him settled. Eric can't do so as he has to be to work by 8. So it was drop daddy off at work, Aaron at daycare and me to go home and have a nap.

But, I couldn't sleep despite my best efforts. So I met up with a friend at the mall and did some window shopping. I was going to pick Aaron up a few presents but changed my mind because I can probably get the, in the States cheaper. I gotta give my dad a ring and arrange a day to borrow his car.

This is just verbal diarrhea. I got a call from the firm to find out that I DIDN'T get the job before I went out last night. The guy said he liked me and felt I would be competent but they went with someone who was referred by someone who had to job for years. GAH! He said he'd keep my resume on file. And I believe him. The fact that he called to let me know speak volumes for this employer.

I also have an appointment with the Dr. at the fertility clinic today. They got me in fast. Another reason, why I prefer the clinic here to Vancouver. I wonder what he will say about my FSH levels... I am trying to not get over anxious but it's hard not do.