Really Need to Post

The story of so many bloggers. You want to post but Just. Don't. Have Time.

Actually, I do but I have lacked to words to put together a decent post. I haven't known what to write or how to write it, which is funny considering I respond to emails all day long at work and can pull responses out of my ass.

There is so much going on, here, yet I am not to stressed. I miss writing. I do. I just am not sure what/how to write as Eric knows the URL to this space and if I were to write everything on my mind I feel that he would be reading part of me that i don't want him to.

So news. I have a place. My very own place! I got the keys for it this week and will be all moved in by Friday! Work is good. Aaron is good. And I am going back to school. I taking one course 2 evenings per week all as part of my plan to upgrade so eventually I can get into nursing. Or University. I am not sure what my future holds, but I crave an education. I have given some serious thought to getting involved with special needs or autistic children. I have taken the same course that new therapists that work with Aaron take. I took it so i would have the know how on how to deal with him and to parent him better.

I have given some thought to even applying to work with his company but with other children. I really don't know what career path I will take int he next few years. It could go in one of three directions, nursing, special needs, computer tech stuff.

At the moment I am working 4 days a week and going to school 2 evenings per week. I need the balance of work/Aaron time. I need to work to support us (Aaron and I) and he needs the routine of daycare and other kids a few days per week. But when I am not working, we are spending time together.

Eric and I are still not how we will arrange custody (50/50, 60/40, one week on, one week off, three days on, three days off...) We will figure it out as we go. I am only moving a few blocks or 2 min drive away from him. So we will be close enough that getting Aaron back and forth from each other will not be a hassle.

Funny I should bring up careers. I may have a job opportunity with the government for $50,000/year to start in Vancouver. if I am offered it, I will have to turn it down.  It is $11 more an hour than I currently make. My life is now on the Island, Aaron's life is and his dad is here. Now that my dad has retired, he wants to move here and my sister and her husband are moving to the Island within the next year. This means that she will be an hour and half drive away tops and my Aaron will have his cousin close by. This means I can take her on weekends and have a close relationship with her. I know my life is here now. Funny how irony works.

Ironically, I am not tired but will hit the hay as I have a long day tomorrow.

Just Wasn’t Feeling It

So the no posting for the last month or so? I just wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t know what to write or how to write it. I was feeling very Blah.

Eric and I are still living as roommates and parenting as we always have. The plan is to get my own place in the New year.

I have a new job. Yay! I’ve only been there just shy of a week but I really like the place and the staff. I am back to doing something I know and love. Call center and email support. The product is something that I am not so familiar with but I am learning it fast I love love love it! The job is part time which I hope is a nice balance between staying at home with Aaron.



*****

So I wrote that a few days ago. Which I have been meaning to post. I am sick with body aches and pains and a phlegmy cough. I feel nauseous at times due to sinus pain. Weee.

I have a very big case of the Blahs being sick. I am still going to work as I have a sit down job. My hob isn’t mentally or physically challenging so I might as well go. I want to get back into blogging. I miss this place. I may get yet another domain. I am thinking of one, I just haven’t jumped on it yet.

I have looked at one place for Aaron and I. It would’ve been perfect, but the landlord didn’t go with us alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

We also need to find a new daycare as their hours have changed. We found one that would’ve been the right fit except I could smell traces of smoke it in that filter from the upstairs as it’s in the basement of a house. That is a no go.

******

In March I am going to see Blake Shelton in Seattle! I am so stoked for this. It’s something I am really looking forward to. I’ve loved his music ever since I heard Austin in 2001. He is hosting a cruise in October, but I think going is a little far fetched to go given that the cost of the cruise doesn’t include getting there. I will have to be happy with going to his concert.

My sick and tired butt is going to bed.

Stuff

I have a lot of crap going thru my mind at the moment. I don't know where to begin or what to say. I feel like the world's biggest bitch for breaking up with Eric. Let's not forget I broke up with him while he was deployed in a war zone. Apparently, I was his rock keeping him sane with at sea. So yeah bitch right here.


I don't want to go off on a rant how he is an asshole or a dead beat. He isn't either. He has asshole tendencies as do most people just as I have bitch tendencies. When he came yesterday I literally recoiled from him and didn't want him near me. As mid email to him about how i felt suffocated by him from keeping up normal appearances on Facebook.

I have his family on my facebook and he hasn't told them yet. I've told my friends and he has told a few of his friends but so far mums the word to his family. I guess he needed me to say what I needed to say in person before he accepted it.

It's weird having him home. Living in the same place. We are sleeping in separate rooms. But I want to be staying in separate places. He's offered to stay in barracks, but I can't have him not in his own home for my breaking up with him. My 2 friends that I can stay with or either super sick or have just had their man come back from a deployment. I don't want to intrude.

So at the moment were still parenting and eating meals together. Which I wanted to avoid as it's a semblance or normalcy without physical contact.

I don't have a job at the moment. Woot. Woot. I am starting single momdom off on a good note. Eric has leave so the plan is to take whatever job I get and save some $. He wants me to start off right on my feet. So there is a non asshole trait.

I am on the ferry at the moment. I am going over to see my girls for the night to try to out some perspective and what to do. I hope chili and movies helps on this miserable night of wind and rain.