When He is Away

*This is not a paid add by Drano. I just reference it a lot.*

I should be doing the dishes right now. I had actually planned on doing them after Aaron went to bed. I loathe doing dishes. But I can’t. So I am blogging. Eric is away for work and I wanted to get ahead of myself and keep the house in some sort of order instead of letting it fall into a its usual state if chaos when Eric is a way.


I planned on doing the larger dishes, but alas I can’t. I don’t why this shit always goes down when Eric is away usually on the first day too. My freaking kitchen sink is clogged. It isn’t anything I haven’t dealt with before and I am all pro. I was just about the get the Drano but the damn sink wasn’t draining.

(I am used to unclogging the kitchen sink as Eric is in the habit or rinsing dishes containing high fat content without running hot water or rinsing dishes that should be scrapped into the garbage. I think this house keeps Drano and Liquid Plumber in business.)

So instead of busting out the Drano I busted out a metal coat hanger. While trying to unclog the sink 3 or 4 little straws floated up to the surface. (The ones for Aaron’s Rubbermaid drink containers) I thought I’d found the culprit. But the drain is still clogged. My hope is that it will drain over night and I can administer a shot of Drano in the a.m.

Our house is falling apart. In our entire time in the condo we didn’t own a plunger. (We didn’t need to.) My shower knob is stripped so I can’t pull the lever out to have a shower unless I use pliers which will most likely become a permanent fixture in our bathroom until our land lady sends someone to look at it. This just happened yesterday and I’ve yet to call her. NOTE TO SELF: CALL LAND LADY FIRST THING IN THE A.M.

I don’t know why it is, but the random shit happens around the house whenever Eric is gone. The first time Eric sailed Aaron’s crib bar became detached as soon as he had left and I had a tired crying toddler to deal with. There was no going back to sleep once that was dealt with.

Or the time the toilet was clogged I had to hire a plumber to auger the toilet as I hadn’t augered it vigorously enough. I paid him $80 to the same thing I did. An auger has a permanent spot in out bathroom closet behind the kitty litter.


Or the time I came home from Vancouver and my fridge had become unplugged for a few weeks.

Yup. This shit always happens when Eric is away. Why I don’t know. Maybe it’s something or someone telling me I can handle the things life throws at me. The joys of being a military wife. I am quite handy around the house when I have to be. Eric deals with the technical and handy stuff around when he is here. But if he isn’t I don’t mind rolling up my sleeves. Being raised my dad who is the most technically illiterate person I’ve ever met in my life was good training for being a military wife.

Just the other day, I was at his house and his PC wasn’t working. He started to freak out and I take a look, and all that had happened was the cable from his monitor to his tower had become unplugged. He is too lazy to do basic troubleshooting before assuming the worse.

A post of ramblings this is really.

An update on the old clog. The sink has drained and I’ve administered Drano. I think this is a job for Drano Max Gel. I’ve got only regular Drano. Hopefully I’ll be able to wash some dishes soon.

How Do You Blog?

As a  blogger, I often wonder how bloggers come up with material for their blog posts. Some blogs have a theme which dictates the material being written about. Some blogs are mommy blogs, military spouse blogs, daddy blogs, infertile blogs, cooking/food blogs etc. The list goes on and on.

I don't think I fall into any category per se. I definitely do not consider myself a mommy blogger but I touch on parenting as it's one aspect of my life. I personally started blogging to fill a void. I had recently moved to Victoria, and was lonely in the evenings when Eric was a sea. I divided my time between blogging and watching Scrubs on DVD. A lonely existence for a brief time.

I never made any really  effort to make friends because I went home almost every weekend to see my friends so I still felt that I had an active social life and I was friend's with a girlfriend of one of Eric's friends. I was still happy, but needed to fill a void. So I started a blog.

I have been reading blogs since 2005. Once I started I couldn't stop.

I don't consider myself a great blogger or even a good blogger because I am so inconsistent and random. I like to be random. I think of neat posts all the time, but I usually don't get around to blogging about it because I run out of time.

If I was a better blogger you would know that Eric and I are baby free this weekend. My dad asked/offered to have him for the weekend so we jumped at the chance.

This is are first time home alone for more than a few hours in our home without out him.

It has been very quiet. It's almost the way things used to be before we were parents.

When we were doing the long distance thing before I moved in with him, I'd come over many weekends to his place. He's come to me too. But I preferred to come here as he had his own place and I lived at home. (I paid rent) I'd hop on a ferry on a Friday night or Saturday morning and he'd pick me up.

I took Aaron over to my dad's on Friday and came home Saturday morning. It was just like old times when Eric picked me up at the ferry. I've forgotten what it's like to ride a ferry on my own. What I used to look at as a nuisance is now a pleasurable experience when I make the crossing solo.

I was only in the mainland for a night, but I managed to get some time in with my besties. I have group for three friends and we are like peas and carrots. Every time I am over I try to get time in with them. It doesn't always work out that way and the last time I was over things didn't pan out but things worked out great on Friday night. I wasn't able to sneak away until late as my dad worked late but we went to a local pub and caught up. It reminded me of old times.

It happened to snow Friday night so the pub was oddly quiet. Unlike most Vancouverites, who tend to freak out at the slightest hint of the white stuff, we ventured out.

I cam home yesterday morning and I had to say it was wonderful and beautiful ferry ride complete with a dusting of snow on the Islands, killer whales and a free performance.

I love it when I see killer whales on the ferry. I can say I've only seen them 4 or 5 times and I've been making the trek from Vancouver to Victoria for eight years.

The last time I saw killer whales on the ferry, one was actually breaching out of the water. It was younger one and he was just so full of energy. It was if he knew we were there and wanted to give us a little show.

I also had the pleasure of hearing a duo perform a few songs with guitar and some kind of shaker. I've seen this before and they give a free show and then sell a CD. The ferry is a neat place to showcase talent.

I've had a good relaxing weekend. Eric and I went out to a pub with his co-workers and girlfriends. We go out about once or twice a month with these people. I liked the pub we were at and the atmosphere. I was a great time and we took in some live music before heading to a night club. We weren't in the mood for clubbing but being a birthday and having  good time already we wanted t be good sports and went along.

Tonight we will watch some TV and tomorrow I will fetch Aaron.

Back to the blogging business.

How many hours do you spend a day/week on blogging? Mine will vary. I don't have any set time as I don't have a big readership.

I would like to change that but I don't know how as I don't have a genre here.

I have ideas I'd like to blog about but sometimes they get pushed back.

Do you ever hold back so you don't ruffle the wrong feathers? I normally don't because I am not to

Controversial but if I think a topic will hurt someone I may hold back or not write about it all.

I found one blog post via a link that I want share with you because it made me LMAO. If you want a good laugh, go read this post at Hyperbole and Half. You will be in stitches by the end.

I read this article in our local paper today. It's on polyamorous trio with one woman and two live-in boyfriends. It really is

I want to do a post on polyamory, living in Halifax, roomates, break up and ex's but I never seem to get around to it. I hope to do so. We shall see what I can pump out. For now I am going to go enjoy some TV with the man.

Home

Eric his home. Aaron is talking more and more every day. He has adjusted well to Eric being home much to my surprise. I really wasn't sure how he would react. When his ship pulled up we were waiting there with all the other families, wives and girlfriends with our sign. It was just like you see on the news. The first sailor got to go on the brow and greet his wife then we all got to embark on the ship. When we met on the deck I had Aaron in my arms and I got a hug and kiss from Eric and Aaron went straight for something not safe for toddlers on a ship deck.

I was taken aback that he didn't latch on to Eric and not let him go, but he's always been one for buttons and leavers. We really haven't been apart since Eric got home. Today Eric left for a short while to do some errands and Aaron was sad and was crying a little bit and said "Bye Daddy" as he watched him drive away out the window followed by "Bye Mommy." I explained to him that I wasn't leaving. It's hard to gage his level of comprehension, but Eric has noticed a big difference in his speech since he left. He is progressing daily. I am so happy that he calls us Mommy and Daddy now.

Just yesterday, he said "I do it." When he wanted to spear his on peach with a fork. I am so pleased that he's coming along.

On the donor front of things, Mike and Liz have decided to go for a consult with the clinic here. I am thrilled by this news because the bedside manner of the clinic here is wonderful. Even Liz said with all her dealings of 3 different clinics in Vancouver she gets the best feeling so far from the clinic here. And she is super impressed that the RE there actually emails patients himself. Obviously, this means our cycle will be pushed back, but everything happens for a reason as Liz says. I hope we can get in before Christmas.

We all seem to be a little bit under the weather around here so I am going to bed for a good nights sleep.

10 Weeks

Aaron and I said good-bye to Eric this morning. We got up at 4:30am to drive him to work. He's gone for 10 weeks. In the early days of our relationship I'd cry when he left, it left me aching. This mornings good-bye wasn't a long lingering one like they used to be.

I think Aaron in oblivious to Eric being gone. As he said his last good bye I tried to get Aaron to say "Bye-bye Daddy." Only as we pulled away did he say "Bye Daddy." It nearly broke me. I have no way to ascertain his level of understanding in Eric's absence. I am not one to cry when he leaves for 2-3 weeks as I am used it, the days are short and I have a toddler to look after.

But this time it's different. It's bitter sweet as we have had our ups and downs over the last few months. Part of me wanted the break for space but the other part will miss him like crazy. I've been going back to the early days of our relationship. I not sure when things became so strained between us. Or for how long. Sometime after the birth of Aaron. I miss it when he was my everything and I'd do anything for him. I am not sure if we just became used to each other and started to take each other for granted. But things aren't the same. We didn't even have a lingering kiss good-bye. I tried but maybe he wasn't feeling it. We've both been dreading this trip and looking forward it at the same time.

One thing I keep telling myself is that no matter how bad my life is, someone has it worse. On out way home I saw not one, two, or three BUT FOUR fire trucks buzz on by us. I am not one to watch fires or stare at emergency scenes but I decided to follow them at a safe distance (I didn't have to follow very far) and when they arrived that the fire there was a laze with flames shooting at least 20 feet in the air. It looked like an inferno. At first I couldn't see if was an apartment building on fire or a car but soon it was apparent it was a dumpster. The fire fighters got it under control fast.

After they thought it was out, a small fire erupted. My guess is an arsonist. I can't see a fire raging that high in a dumpster without some sort of accelarant. Stupid fucker. There are businesses and a apartment buildings all around it. Someone could've been hurt. Thankfully nobody was. and the damage was left to the dumpster and shed that contained it.

At least Aaron got to see something he doesn't see every day. I took Aaron out of the car and pointed out all the different emergency vehicles. He was in his hey-day because of all the flashing lights. Aaron is sleeping again, I best be doing the same so I can keep up with him later today.

It's Complicated

My life isn’t a country song. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.

Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.

This is what my life has been like the past few weeks. My emotions are constantly in motion and it’s making me sick. I have emotional motion sickness if that is even possible. I want the constant motion to stop. I am scared if I do, it will feel better but hurt Aaron in the long run.

My relationship with Eric has gone awry and I’m not sure if there is a way to fix it. I’m not sure if it’s salvageable or if I even want to. We keep doing the same song and dance and if we don’t get out soon were going to become bitter and resentful towards each other and end up hating each other and not knowing why.

If I were to update my Facebook relationship status it would read “It’s complicated.” But my Facebook status will not read that as I am not one to air my dirty laundry on Facebook. If my relationship status does change, I’ll simply remove my relationship status from my info page.

I am not sure where we go from here. If I stay in Victoria or move back to Vancouver so I have the support of my family with Aaron. My dilemma is that I’d like to stay in Victoria so that Eric my see Aaron whenever he wants to. (I’d never deny him access to his son or make it difficult for him to see Aaron.) But I lack family here, which doesn’t help me when I need a break or need last minute baby sitting for a job interview or an appointment. Eric sails, so he isn’t here all the time either. So it’s not as though he can spell me out when needed. That is my dilemma. I don’t want Eric and Aaron’s relationship to be dictated by BC Ferries but so may be the case.

I am not sure what is what. But I’m tired of crying all the time.