This and That

Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with my son. Sometimes I think he is a normal child than others somethings just aren't right.

His assessment can't come soon enough. I've been told there is a 3 month wait. He was referred in October that puts us into January. I haven't blogged about it, as there is nothing to say. Or at least there wasn't.

The staff at his daycare commented that he shows certain signs of autism. He rocks and he is repetitive. My dad does both of these things. A family friend of ours son has Aspergers and she mentioned some of the parallels in Aspergers and my dad. He is looking at getting an assessment. It would explain a lot.

The not picking up on social queues, the repetitiveness in his speech, the rocking. Going on with long monologues talking about stuff that has little interest of anyone but himself.

Autism is carried through male genes. Grandpa and Aaron have similarities... It's beginning to make more and more sense.

Being an egg donor and autism do not go hand in hand. I don't know this for a fact, but I don't think it's ethical. I assume fertility clinics won't accept candidates who are carriers or have family members who have it.

When I saw the Dr. at the clinic here last week, I asked him if my FSH levels could be an indicator if I may have fertility issues down the road and he says it's hard to say. He's seen donors with my levels go on to conceive no problem. A second child right now isn't in the picture. But I am open to the possibility a few years down the road. Or not. I am undecided.

I was instructed to get a second FSH test and and another antral follicle count. I had my day 3 FSH test today and I have an AFC on Wednesday. I am interested to know the results, but at the same time I don't really care.

I am more concerned with getting Aaron assessed so if he has some form of autism be it high functioning autism or Aspergers we can start getting him the help he needs now so he can have a happy and normal childhood and hopefully not have social issues.

That's what been floating around here. And the job search continues.

I did make a quick overnight trip to Vancouver to see Tara on the weekend. I got a call with her in tears and went to cheer her up and to help her see the light about TM. I think she may be coming to her senses. One thing that got me was when I said to her "I am not going to kick you when your down" and commented that TM would. Who does that? Another friend of hers and I spent some quality time with her. She has some big decisions to make in the near future.

Stuff I Should've Blogged About But Didn't

I have many of these moments. Right now one of my BFF's Tara, is having relationship woes. She has been with "the man" (a term I use loosely because he is anything but) for about 8 months.

Tara and I go back to grade 9. We have each others back, we confide in one another, we were roommates, and I am fiercely protective of her. She is an independent woman who has never needed a man in her life to make her happy nor to feel complete.

She was doing the 20-something-single life just fine but dabbled in online dating at my urging as she was looking for a long term boyfriend and to maybe start to process of settling but didn't have her heart set on being married by a certain age.

You can see where this is going. She met the man (TM) on said dating site. Shortly, after they started dating she introduced me. At first meet, I liked TM and was immensely happy for Tara. We had gone out to eat and had great conversation and I could see what she liked about him intellectually and  I thought she had finally found a good guy after doing the dating thing.

It didn't take me long to change my tune. Being a BFF of Tara's it's natural that she confided in me and tells me her problems. It wasn't long before she started complaining about X, Y and Z that TM had did. As a good friend I said "why don't you break things off?"

Her answer?

"I love him."

I should probably back up here and say I  had never seen her so smitten or in love a guy. It what most people experience being in a new relationship and nothing unlike I had experienced in new relationships it reminded me of me. I was happy for her.

Until the constant complaining came of "TM did this, and TM did that."

I actually had thought to blog about it or put a post up in the community, but never got a chance to.

It seems TM has a certain set of rules for himself and and another for Tara. When they first started dating, he wanted her to "decrease she chances" of meeting other men yet they still weren't exclusive and he didn't want to have a "label" put on their relationship and kept his profile up on said dating site.

She was in the frame of mind that she should keep her options open if he wasn't willing to commit. I fully agree with that. Tara's idea of meeting new people is going out for coffee not whoring herself about.

I spent a lot of time with Tara through out the summer and we chat often. I see her almost every time I go to Vancouver. I value her friendship, respect her opinion, respect her as person and a woman. She is one of the strongest people I know, she works hard, is career driven and ambitious and I have never in my life seen reduced to tears over a guy.

The shit her puts her through angers me so. For the first few months, I listened to every thing she had to say about him and gave her advice I thought was useful and was being a good friend lending an ear.

But there comes a point when you here the same stuff where it becomes redundant and you don't want to hear it. I've hit that point a few times with her.

Our conversations usually are along the lines how are things? "Oh things with TM are the same we'll have a few  good days, then he'll say or do something upsetting."

I asked her in the summer what she would do if her relationship with TM started to effect her work. She said she would take time off work. (She's a teacher.) Being the summer, it didn't matter. I don't know how much sleep she lost over him in the last 8 months.

Now it's starting to effect her work. She has report cards (She was subbing before) due and his being asshole is starting to effect her. She is stressed out with report cards and parent teacher meetings and TM is less than sympathetic as to why she can't devote more time to him.

He works retail. I am not judging anyone who works retail, but it's a job that stays at work and your work doesn't go home with you. Such isn't the case for teachers. I am not educated to her level but I get it. Certain times of the year will be crunch time.

Tara and I were talking earlier today and she was bemoaning her usual list of grievances with T M, getting me up to speed with where she`s at as we usually talk weekly.

Today's bullshit is TM doesn`t understand why they have to plan their time together when it`s convenient for her and if she isn`t satisfied sexually than she can find satisfaction elsewhere???

Tara doesn`t understand where he comes up with this crap as that`s one thing she is satisfied with. I`ve chalked it up to him being insecure with himself and he will project stuff as an issue that never was.

Gah, I am blogging about a friend`s relationship issues. I am sure I`ve lost you all. I should`ve blogged about this in smaller doses so you could follow me and that you all would`have background info.

If I still have you, I am impressed.

I am puzzled over my smart friend`s crappy relationship choice and why continues to date him. She is over the honeymoon stage and see`s him for what he is. A drama, making issues out of nothing, insecure man. Now why is she with him?

I should do a background post on him and some of his little quirks to give you better background info.

I hope my friend comes to her senses in the mean time.