Sick?

The last 24 hours or so with Aaron have been the hardest that I've had in recent memory. I got 4 hours of sleep last night. Yesterday he got some sort of virus and was running a fever. It was 39.5 C at it's highest. I did take him to the walk-in clinic he figured it was viral. He was himself alternating with being extra whiny and fussy and he had a fever all day despite the Advil and Tylenol I alternated. Then he vomited at 6:30 promptly after we got home. That threw me into worry mode. He hadn't drank much at all and I was worried about dehydration. I didn't want a repeat of the last time.

He crashed at 730 or 8 and I thought he was down for the night. Which was so not the case. He woke up at midnight and didn't get back to sleep until 4am! Yes my toddler was awake 4 hours in the middle of the night, and he only slept till 8am. Mama got less than 4 hours of sleep. (Had we been at home, I would've closed the door to his room and put some toys in his crib and let him play by himself after all his needs were met.)

Today was hard, he was ornery, refused to nap and had many meltdowns. By 230pm I was done. I couldn't wait for my dad to get home from work. I thought a nap was in sight... but alas no it would not be. My dad, God love him, can't keep Aaron quiet (he offered me a nap) leaves doors open so I can hear him and can't keep him from going up the stairs to open the door to my room.

To say that I was frustrated today would be putting it mildly. I think we will be going back home soon, as much as I like being over here, we need to go home. I will be starting a math course in 2 weeks time (GOD HELP ME) and need to get us on a routine.

Since Aaron refused to nap, we decided to take him to an indoor climbing place. The first place we tried closed at 6pm and wanted to only give us a 10% discount for half an hour of play. I didn't think so. We ended up going to another place. Poor Aaron was sobbing his eyes out when he realized he wouldn't be playing there I felt terrible, like I was teasing him but we were on our way to another play place, he just didn't understand that. Thank GOD for indoor play places they're a dime a dozen over here unlike the one pitiful one we have in Victoria. The weather turned to shit over night and fall has made her appearance.

So our day ended on a high note with a fun time playing with Aaron, and a an excellent supper inspired by Shannon.

Today is day I hope not to repeat anytime soon.

Horses!

1

This is a bunch of horses surrounding my car! This is what greeted Aaron and I as we left camp.

We Survived!

I don't know what it is about having a few drinks that makes me want to blog?

Aaron and I survived the bush! I am happy to say we had a good time camping, but I called it a day short due to our lack of warm clothes and a leaking air mattress. I put him in fleece pajamas under his sweat pants and long sleeve shirt and afghan blanky. Initially, I put him to sleep in his pack n' play but he didn't go for it we we ended up together on a double air mattress.

He did well, the area was so remote I didn't have to worry about him being hit by cars! Only stepping off an embankment down to the lake, being eaten by a bear and burning himself on cooking equipment. Three out of four worries not bad! He had fun playing with his cousins, wandering around seeing new sites. He isn't even afraid of chainsaws!

The best part was when we were leaving camp today, I noticed cows and horses a long a gravel road not penned in. I stopped to take a few pictures and the next thing I knew, my car was surrounded by horses! I took many pics and decided to feed one horse a peach. They were right up in my face! I felt guilty for all the other horses not feeding them so I thought I would feed a few some apples; I bought a 6 lb bag. So when I went to give a horse his apple, be dropped a peach pit in my hand! It was the same horse! Greedy thing he was. I have pictures, and will post this tomorrow.

I am back from a night out at local watering hole with a friend. One must take advantage of free baby sitting when they can.

I don't think I got the memo re: bleach blond hair. ... It seems that in order to frequent to locale watering hole must one alter her appearance to those indigenous to Southern California. *sigh* At least I got the hairstyle right.

What Does One Bring Camping?

In 2 days time, Aaron and I will be embarking on our first family camping trip. HOLD ME! I am nervous. This is something Eric hasn't been to keen on doing at this stage in Aaron's life. The idea of keeping a toddler quarrelled out of harms way isn't is his idea of fun. And now that I come to think of it, it isn't mine either.

When my sister invited me at the beginning of summer I eagerly agreed. It sounded like fun, alone in the wilderness with my sister and her kids. I am so rethinking this now. But I am not going back on it. We'll be up in the Thompson Okanagan area northwest of Kamloops. I looked up the place and their is no amenities whatsoever to speak of save maybe an outhouse and a lake.

I've committed to one night. I hope it goes well. I am at a loss as to what to pack. I haven't been camping in years! The last time I attempted it, it was a disaster. I tried to go with four friends, and the four of us together couldn't string up a tarp! How pathetic. I've always wanted to be the outdoorsy type, I just never seemed to know the right people or have the opportunity to. Well, this year this changes. I have all the gear thanks to my dad who was generous to lend me his camping gear. I don't have to bring cooking supplies as my sister has it. I just need to bring food. This I am at a loss for too!

What do you bring for food when camping?? We did go "camping" with Eric's family when Aaron was 6 weeks old (we stayed in a lodge) and ate our meals at the campsite. I considered that luxury camping as everyone had RV's! I always over pack, so this time I am not going to buy too much food.

I've tried to group it into meals, snacks and drinks.

Breakfast:

- cereal
-milk
-bread

Lunch:

-hot dogs
-buns
-condiments (ketchup, mustard)

Dinner:

-hamburgers
-buns

Snacks:

-yogurt
-fruit (I'll get some on the way)
-crackers
-beans?

Drinks:

- bottled water
- canned juice

Should I bring alcohol? I don't drink much in Aaron's presence.

I am sure we will be bored after he goes to bed at night since there is a camp fire ban in pretty much all of B.C. I have no idea how this can go down. HELP!

I wish I could fast forward to next week when I take Aaron "camping" at my grandpa's resort pad complete with his motor home, pools, playing field, ocean and ample kid friendly activities.

I am not sure if I need to bring paper plates, cups, cutlery... I assume my sister will have all of this.

So far I am bringing a tent, sleeping bag, air mattress, cooler, pack N' play, extra wipes, hand sanitizer and toilet paper, The air mattress works! I guess I should bring bug spray too. Think happy thoughts for me please. And if you have any suggestions please let me know.

I Know This Much is True

*The explanation of the pics will come mid post.*


I ain't as hip as I thought I was. I was unaware that there was a Lady Gaga concert in Vancouver last night. When a friend and I hopped on the Canada Line after a night out on the town, I was wondering WTF was wrong with youth today when I saw 2 girls in sequined bras with hair rollers in their hair. Then it all made sense. A busy skytrain on a Monday night, people dressed oddly to the nines, only a concert could bring out such weirdos. (Or Lady Gaga fans.)



I like her music, but not enough to attend a concert. Who am I kidding to think I am down with the times? I'll take my country music over Gaga any day. The next concert I hope to attend is a Travis Tritt concert in September.

Down with the times I may not be, but I still think I have a keen fashion sense. I may choose comfort over fashion, but I know a fashion faux pas when I see one and this clearly is.

The pictures of the side of my arm, and a guys lower torso is a bad example of fashion. The dude with the rolled up cuffs on his jeans is wearing manpris! This shouldn't be! When I saw this last night at a college bar my friend and I ended up at, we slyly pretended to be taking pictures of each other and aimed the camera at the dude in the manpris! So not cool.

I met with the IP's Mike and Liz a few days back. We had coffee and it went well. So far, so good. She has an appointment with a clinic over here and once she gets in we'll see where things will go. I don't really have a lot to say. They seem nice, she was diagnosed with age related infertility. From meeting with them, I gathered that she's done all the fertility research and hubs is just a long for the ride. He didn't really have much of an idea what was going on in IVF land. She explained the monitoring process to me more in detail since she's been through IVF a few times.

Their plan, should we proceed and I produce good eggs is to have 2 more children. I forget how many embryos they plan on transferring. So if all goes well I hope she gets a baby or 2 out of it. Were on a first name basis, with anonymous emails. So neither one of us knows where the other live exactly... It's kind of weird and I don't know how I feel exactly, but I feel better eliminating the unknown.

The Door is Slightly Ajar...

I've had a busy few days. Eric has deployed, I helped out a friend and made a new not anonymous blog dedicated to Aaron. Eric can get updates via the interweb as sometimes emails are a crap shoots. We're in Vancouver at my dad's any I've been keeping myself busy. Aaron and I have places to go and people to see; especially me.

I said I wasn't going to go through with egg donation at this time, BUT I have a meeting with some IP's in a few days. At my psych evaluation for ED, the psychologist and I decided that is should wait, treat my GAD and revisit it at a later time. But then I got a message from a second woman on forum asking me about being a donor. She was polite and not overbearing in the slightest. I told her straight up what was said in the evaluation. The intended mom (IM) and I have been email each other a lot and so far I like her.

I think I am more comfortable not donating anonymously. With the couple here in the mainland, I think I'll be okay with it as I running into them in public is highly unlikely as were not in the same community. This really bothered me if did a cycle back home as opposed to here. So it eliminates the "what ifs". We will meet and take it from there. I am not too nervous to tell the truth. I am sure she and her husband will be. I hope the meeting is pleasant and we all get along.

I am not sure what to do for an ice breaker when we meet. I've thought of saying to the Intended Father "So you and I might be making a baby together." However, having never meeting them, they may not enjoy my odd sense of humour. So that's what's been going on. I hope this works out well for everyone.

10 Weeks

Aaron and I said good-bye to Eric this morning. We got up at 4:30am to drive him to work. He's gone for 10 weeks. In the early days of our relationship I'd cry when he left, it left me aching. This mornings good-bye wasn't a long lingering one like they used to be.

I think Aaron in oblivious to Eric being gone. As he said his last good bye I tried to get Aaron to say "Bye-bye Daddy." Only as we pulled away did he say "Bye Daddy." It nearly broke me. I have no way to ascertain his level of understanding in Eric's absence. I am not one to cry when he leaves for 2-3 weeks as I am used it, the days are short and I have a toddler to look after.

But this time it's different. It's bitter sweet as we have had our ups and downs over the last few months. Part of me wanted the break for space but the other part will miss him like crazy. I've been going back to the early days of our relationship. I not sure when things became so strained between us. Or for how long. Sometime after the birth of Aaron. I miss it when he was my everything and I'd do anything for him. I am not sure if we just became used to each other and started to take each other for granted. But things aren't the same. We didn't even have a lingering kiss good-bye. I tried but maybe he wasn't feeling it. We've both been dreading this trip and looking forward it at the same time.

One thing I keep telling myself is that no matter how bad my life is, someone has it worse. On out way home I saw not one, two, or three BUT FOUR fire trucks buzz on by us. I am not one to watch fires or stare at emergency scenes but I decided to follow them at a safe distance (I didn't have to follow very far) and when they arrived that the fire there was a laze with flames shooting at least 20 feet in the air. It looked like an inferno. At first I couldn't see if was an apartment building on fire or a car but soon it was apparent it was a dumpster. The fire fighters got it under control fast.

After they thought it was out, a small fire erupted. My guess is an arsonist. I can't see a fire raging that high in a dumpster without some sort of accelarant. Stupid fucker. There are businesses and a apartment buildings all around it. Someone could've been hurt. Thankfully nobody was. and the damage was left to the dumpster and shed that contained it.

At least Aaron got to see something he doesn't see every day. I took Aaron out of the car and pointed out all the different emergency vehicles. He was in his hey-day because of all the flashing lights. Aaron is sleeping again, I best be doing the same so I can keep up with him later today.