Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On Goings

There has been lots going on here. I don't know where to start. Eric and I are no longer together. As of a week now.

I pulled the plug. I just couldn't stay in the relationship any more. I have lots I want to say, but not sure what to say. He is the only one of my real life people that knows of this place. He says he doesn't read here as he feels as though he is invading my space but all bets are off when a relationship ends.

I am a douche who broke up with him while he was deployed. I just felt I coudn't live a lie anymore. I am not in love with him. We've haven't been great for years. We putter a long. Have issues, sometimes we deal with them and sometimes they get put on the back burner until the next issue creeps up.

I can't say anything bad or call him all sorts of names. There is no abuse or anything life altering. We've had our share of fights and douchbaggery but that's about it.

He gets home in 3 months. Or that was the plan, now he wants to come home to try to work on us and see Aaron. I really don't have anything to say or that I want to hear. In the past when I've tried to end things he's convinced me to stay so Aaron has a better life style and so that we don't have to liv in low income housing.

My plan is to save from my job and get our own place and stay here. I don't want to move back to Vancouver if I can help it. I want Eric to be a constant part in Aaron's life and my living here is really the only way I can see that happening. I don't know what future holds for us. I just hope I can pull on my big girl panties and make enough to pay rent and put food on the table.

Yes there will be some form of child support but as the plan is 50/50 I don't think nor want much.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I'm Baaacccck

I didn't get any good blogging time in whilst on my trip. A trip that was suppose to take me to Winnipeg but unfortunately only tool me as far as Calgary.

A certain job had me come back early. A job I was told that would be starting tomorrow. So I scaled my trip back a week. When I was heading to the ferry on Friday, I got a call confirming my start date of Oct. 24th. Of course I asked the recruiter "What the hell?" How did this happen?

Ugh. I was half way there with Aaron and the cat in tow. But I turned around and stuck around Vancouver for the weekend.

Aaron and I came home today. I am kind of stoked to play stay-at-home-mom for the week before working full-time for two weeks. After my training, I work 2 days per week. This suits me fine.

As for the MIL and I, things aren't too bad. Were polite with each other and I stayed two nights at the in-laws. I didn't care to over stay my welcome and they got lots of time in with Aaron.

I really want to blog, but I am so freaking tired I just want to go to bed before 10pm for once.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Ripping the Band-Aid Off

So, it finally happened the MIL and I have crossed paths again. My two long term readers know what happened the last time I was in her presence.

Nothing ever was resolved. I just ignored her emails and didn't talk to her on the phone for 9 months until I absolutely had too when Eric flew up with Aaron and I had to give her some last min instructions.

It wasn't too bad considering I had a panic/anxiety attack before leaving my dad's the other day. I do have General Anxiety Disorder but never have attacks. I was trying to find a doctor to get some of the good drugs in the form of Xanax or Ativan but my provinces health care system failed me in Interior BC  (due to lack of doctors available at a walk-in clinic) and I am doing so without. (I've got a post for the how I feel the health care system is failing us, but that's for another time.)

This time we are staying a hotel. Much more preferable. Aaron and I are on our road trip which may or may not take us to Winnipeg. It depends if I start a new job on the 17th.

I didn't got searching for it, it found me. And the best part is it's only two days per week. Perfect for me as I really just want to stay at home with Aaron, but enough to get me out of the house and to contribute a wee bit to our income. Aaron's daycare is flexible so it's a win-win.

I want to hash out some of my thoughts on the MIL front but we have been on the road awhile and I want to crash.


Monday, October 3, 2011

I'm In Lust!

It's been soooo long since I've blogged. I've every intention of getting caught up this week.

Now that I am a SAHM again, I will have more time to do things. Such as blog. I got a week start on the SAHM gig as Aaron contracted Hand Foot and Mouth Disease and wasn't able to go to daycare.

Aaron and I are hanging out over at my dad's at the moment before we embark on a road trip that will have us travel cross three provinces.

Today Aaron and I went to visit my mom, brother and step dad. We don't usually get a visit in when were here as it is an hour drive one way. My mom never makes the drive to see us, but today we went out for my brothers birthday.

It might as well have been my birthday. Because I got to drive a Nissan 350 Z!

I tried to upload a personal  pic, but blogger was having none of it.

This car, this car is something else. I had her at at leas 180 KPH. (111 MPH.)

Yowza! My step dad finally let me take his baby for a spin and OMG I'm in love.

This isn't the actual car but the same damn model. Holy crap! The experience I had driving this 6 speed manual transmission car at the speeds can not be described adequately with words.

I am in lust.

More posts coming soon to this blog near you.