Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On Goings

There has been lots going on here. I don't know where to start. Eric and I are no longer together. As of a week now.

I pulled the plug. I just couldn't stay in the relationship any more. I have lots I want to say, but not sure what to say. He is the only one of my real life people that knows of this place. He says he doesn't read here as he feels as though he is invading my space but all bets are off when a relationship ends.

I am a douche who broke up with him while he was deployed. I just felt I coudn't live a lie anymore. I am not in love with him. We've haven't been great for years. We putter a long. Have issues, sometimes we deal with them and sometimes they get put on the back burner until the next issue creeps up.

I can't say anything bad or call him all sorts of names. There is no abuse or anything life altering. We've had our share of fights and douchbaggery but that's about it.

He gets home in 3 months. Or that was the plan, now he wants to come home to try to work on us and see Aaron. I really don't have anything to say or that I want to hear. In the past when I've tried to end things he's convinced me to stay so Aaron has a better life style and so that we don't have to liv in low income housing.

My plan is to save from my job and get our own place and stay here. I don't want to move back to Vancouver if I can help it. I want Eric to be a constant part in Aaron's life and my living here is really the only way I can see that happening. I don't know what future holds for us. I just hope I can pull on my big girl panties and make enough to pay rent and put food on the table.

Yes there will be some form of child support but as the plan is 50/50 I don't think nor want much.


S.I.F. said...

I'm sorry lady. That sounds incredibly painful and hard for all involved. It sounds like you're handling it about as maturely as possible though. I hope things continue to go as smooth as they can.

GreenGirl said...

I am SOOO very sorry.
You are a brave woman who does not settle...
Not many women do that these days.
You are a wonderful mother and will get through this with amazing grace.
I hope it all irons out when he comes back and you can come to a peaceful arrangement for your little one.
Prayers your way...

Kakunaa said...

Such a hard decision, hun, especially with finances. This I know. Sending big hugs and a hope that things are okay.