Monday, August 29, 2011

When Was The Last Time?

The last time you bought a CD? I do. It was 4 years and 2 months ago. Only 2 days ago that is. I only remember because I bought 2 CD's at Wal-Mart in Port Angeles on my way down to Portland to meet up with Eric for Fleet Week. (This weekend will always stand out in my mind as it was the weekend that we decided that I would go off the pill and we would start trying to conceive.)

I bought 2 Cd's on that trip. One I can't remember for the life of me. The other was Trace Adkins Dangerous Man. That CD has lived in my car for the last 4 years. I don't know what it is about him and his music but I just love him. Swing really just puts me in a good mood and gets me upbeat. I love driving down the highway blasting his music.

Two days ago I bought my first CD in 4 years. I bought Trace Adkins Proud to Be Here. Wow. I can relate to the lyrics to most of the songs on this album. I don't know what it is about him but he seems to be on every TV show I randomly throw on or on the radio co-hosting something or another.

I can't really articulate what I want to say about Trace Adkins and what his music really means to me. I've been trying to write this post for 2 days now this is the only time I have had to sit down and write this. I have been busy, busy busy.

My most important role during Eric's deployment being the sole parent is to be there for Aaron and to address his needs/tantrums/OCD as they come and to remain calm. Parenting an autistic child certainly presents it's challenges. Most days are okay, but some days he will just get something in this head and will not let it go. And I need to remain calm as to not add fuel to his fire.

Shortly after Eric left I had to go on Zoloft. I was losing patience with Aaron and it wasn't fare to him. I've had to wean myself off of it as I started to feel tingling my arms and legs on 3 different occasions and I dont' like it.

So that's why I haven't posting much or at all.

So back to Trace Adkins. I loved his show so much I am contemplating going to see him again on September 23rd. This time I will get better seats if I do. I am bummed that I missed out on seeing Blake Shelton. I only found out the day of that he was playing near Seattle and I didn't have the time to make childcare arrangements for Aaron and to make the drive from Metro Vancouver to Seattle. Ugh. I would love to see him. i just love his music too. My favourite song by far is Hill Billy Bone with Trace Adkins. Aaron loves this song and he used to call it the Yee Ha song.

I was able to get that close to Trace to snap this pic. Unfortunately, I was not very familiar with my friend's camera and didn't get a better shot.
Trace Adkins zoomed in from our seats.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A Little of This and a Little of That

Yeah so about that blogging… it aint a happening much. Something had to go when I became the only parent with a full time job in the process. So blogging. Sadly isn’t up there at this time. Eric has been gone a month.
Only 6 months of this deployment left!

Ha! Six months? Will I survive – Yes. Mentally in tact? That remains to be seen. Aaron has had his ups and downs. It breaks my heart when he asks for Eric and I can’t do anything about it. The other day I put him on the phone with my dad and he started to cry “Find Daddy” over and over. I broke my heart.

I am still trying to decide if Eric should come home for 10 days or we should meet him in Europe somewhere? I really don’t know. On the one hand, I’ve never been to Europe on the other I have to fly there with a toddler. One mom told me that her husband isn’t coming home as it just disrupts the kids’ routine and then he leaves and it is another transition. I think that it would be good for Aaron to see Eric and if it were in Europe, no routine would be disrupted.

So I have been having pangs. Pangs for second child. Not good. I flip flop ALL the time about a second. On one hand I miss the whole baby stage and the breastfeeding and I want Aaron to have a friend for life. On the other I really bad post partum depression and didn’t handle motherhood well and I don’t deal with stress well and I don’t want to take the chance of having another child on the spectrum.

Eric is undecided too. Obviously, nothing will happen on this deployment. But the want is still there. However, that isn’t enough of reason to have one as far as I am concerned. I was told by fertility doctor that if I wanted a second child sooner was better than later. This was found out when I was going to be an egg donor. As I had low FSH and low AFC counts it was decided to not proceed with a cycle.
I’ve also had thoughts of being a surrogate, but haven’t put myself out there as that would be a really big commitment. So I am rambling.

I am off tomorrow for a week! Woot! You know what this means. VANCOUVER. I have to go into work tomorrow to apply for a job posted internally as it will have closed when I return. Then I am Vancouver bound. The highlight of my week will be going to see Trace Adkins on Tuesday. I can’t WAIT! It’s going to be good night. Time to clean up a bit and flip loads.

Friday, August 5, 2011

3 Year Old Wanders From Daycare

How the hell does this happen?

I shit you not, I interviewed this daycare and we got bad vibes from it and that was the end of that.
Here is the a quote from the post in case you don't want to click the link.
 The day care we viewed on Wednesday gave me a bad feeling from the start. We were early for our appointment, I found the staff to be rude, and nobody bothered to introduced themselves while we waited for the lady who was giving us the tour. I've walked up to day cares without an appointment to get warm greetings from staff and a tour. Aaron wanted to leave right away and went straight for the door. He ended up having a tantrum of all tantrums and Eric had to take him out so I could finish the tour on my own. I may have had some preconceived notions based on some feedback I had gotten, but I really tried to go in with an open mind. I just got a bad feeling all around. The toys were put away and brought out throughout the day, and I really didn't care for that. The space was huge, but isn't the size that counts. It's how they use it. Even for day cares.