Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Eric and I our in Vancouver for the night. The three of us are headed to Calgary tomorrow to see the in-laws. Today is my dad's birthday and we stopped in for the day and took him out for dinner. A friend graciously watched Aaron and we went out to an establishment of his choice. We went here. I haven't eaten here in years and the food was lousy and the service sucked. Our waitress must have taken ten minutes to bring us our check when we requested it. She was snarky and didn't even pretend to careabout us or the service she provided. As for the food I don't know how you can screw up a chicken quesidilla but the thing was minuscule and the chicken was dry. I used to love going here, but never again.

While I am on the subject of restaurants.

Dear Hostess at Boston Pizza:

I dined at your restaurant last week. I know your young and blond and probably dyed your hair too many shades of white blond and the chemicals must have seeped into your brain, BUT the first rule of working in a food establishment is to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. Yes, I noticed while I was in the next stall over changing my son's diaper that after you left your stall you didn't wash your hands. Ew. I know you don't serve the food itself nor prepare it but you touch the menus I touch and wrap the cutlery I eat with.

Grosses Out Patron

Friday, June 25, 2010


In the last couple of weeks I have been reflecting a lot on what my life used to be like before I became a mom. I miss a lot of the little things I used to take for granted.

- I miss driving down Highway 1 (Trans Canada Hwy) through Burnaby and Vancouver on my way to work. I miss the simple things about this drive especially talking on the phone to my friends. (Driving hands free has only been introduced in BC recently.) I got to do this the last time I was in Vancouver while driving into Burnaby with my phone on speaker. I miss this.

- I miss the familiarity of going into work every morning and washing out the coffee urns and making coffee when I worked the 7am shift. I miss booting up my computer at work and logging into the same programs and the camaraderie I had with my co-workers.

- I miss my friend Joe. I met him at work and he was like a little brother to me. We're still friends but I miss talking to him on our breaks and the male perspective he used to give me when Eric and I had an argument and he'd put me in my place. Things changed He got married, I had a baby.

- I miss our Karaoke nights that I could count on every Thursday night. Joe would always be there, so would a handful of his roommates and some of my friends. Joe and I would always sing "Jackson" by Johnny Cash and June Carter. It was a terrible rendition, but ours none the less. I will sing karaoke stone cold sober, or drunk.

- I miss going to the mall with Eric and trying clothes not having a care in the world. If I were trying on pants he’d grab my ass and give it the squeeze test.

Tonight I had the chance to go to the mall by myself and I tried on clothes. Office clothes to be exact. I went to Ricki's I love that store. I am anywhere to a 0 - 4 in their sizes. In normal stores, I am not a 4. I am a 6 - 8. Shopping there makes me feel good. If I do get the job that I am coveting, I will need a few good pieces to add to my work attire.

I miss working. I miss having a purpose. I realize being a stay-at-home-mom is a purpose, but I miss working and I think Aaron would thrive in a daycare. (A good one, not some random one he is on some waitlists to some good ones.) If I do end up going back to work it will be an adjustment but we will get through it. And if working isn't meant to be, I can quit. In the next year if I do not go back to work to a decent job, I will be going back to school.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Who Knew...

....That good things happen. In blog land one of the IVF bloggers I follow conceived on her own! I am squeeing for you! I can't link to her blog as she has requested that her her blog remain anonymous. And S.I.F. had someone donate her IVF meds for her upcoming cycle! It's a great day in blog land.


Aaron has slept like crap the past 2 nights. Happy Fathers Day! At least we didn't spend Father's Day in the ER like last year. I hate teething. Aaron was up from 2am-5am on and off last night. I don't' have the heart to close his door and leave him to himself if I can't hear him I can't sleep. I've always been wired this way ever since he was a new born. Can anyone tell me how long it takes the 2 year molars to pop through? It seems like we've been at these ones for over a month!

I had Aaron at the doctor's today and he has grown half and inch 3/4's of an inch in 3 weeks! I haven't noticed but one of the mom's at a playgroup we haven't attended in awhile commented how much he had grown since she last saw him. So growing he is! He is also mimicking almost everything we say so I am waiting for his "language explosion" as other kids at our playgroups seem to be having.


Apparently I am quite adept at writing cover letters. I showed this letter a friend of mine who is very adept herself in cover letter and resume writing. She was so impressed she asked me to email it to her so she could use it. I pulled this out of my ass in less than half an hour with Aaron tugging at me.

To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to express my interest in applying for the X Position with your company. I am responding to an ad posted on Craigslist.org. I have recently moved back to the area and I am available for work on short notice. I believe I have the experience needed to be the successful candidate for this position.

My previous work history gives me and excellent understanding of the job and what its entails. I worked for X as a X Assistant. This was a clerical role in which I processed data and completed clients’ [blank] and [blank] applications. I was responsible for filing, photocopying, and correspondence as per [protocol]. This is required me to be organized and to process my assigned work in a timely manner.

I worked at [Big Name Cell Phone Company] as a Client Care Representative for three years. I was responsible for assisting clients within a set time frame and directing clients to the correct departments when unable to assist them. I perform well in stressful situations while maintaining patience. I am well versed in Windows software and Microsoft Office programs as well as other proprietary software systems. I also worked as an Internet Client Care Representative with [Big Name Cell Phone Company] and was responsible for assisting clients via email and responding to large volumes of email daily. I was praised by co-workers for my work ethic and my dedication. I was involved in organizing team building activities and I volunteered in [Big Name Cell Phone Company Store] as well as attended work seminars on my own time.

Thank you for taking the time to review my application. I am confident that I would be an excellent addition to your team. I may be reached at (XXX) XXX-XXXX at your convenience to arrange for an interview.


If you want a good laugh check out yesterdays post and tell me what you think.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


What thoughts come to mind when you see this picture?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A bit of an update on the Aaron and his schedule. Thanks to everyone who commented on my post the other day. I am doing my best to get him on and keep him on a schedule. I realize that I have to give up certain things for myself to do what is best by my son. Yesterday, I declined lunch with a friend as it fell during nap time. Her daughter is only 6 months old so she can flexible. I am going to focus on one thing at a time. My first focus is going to be Aaron’s sleep schedule. I am going to try to have bed time and nap time at the roughly the same time every day. At the moment he wakes up between 7-8am and his nap is between 12-2pm. I shoot for 1pm. yesterday he slept nearly 3 hours! He hasn’t done this in a long time.

For me I am taking the stance that bedtime is bedtime and this is when he is put to bed. If all his needs are met, including extra cuddles, he isn’t allowed out of his crib unless it’s for cuddles with me in the rocking chair. The moment he tries to get off of my lap its back into the crib. Sometimes he needs me to rock and sing to him to calm him but I don’t rock/sing him to sleep.

Our normal bedtime routine is a bath followed by a snack and quiet time in the living room with the lights dimmed and TV off. Sometimes he/we read books other times he does puzzles or plays with his cars. I try to avoid noisy toys and horseplay. I notice his activities through out the day will play a role on his level of energy I try to do something in the morning (usually playgroup) and an afternoon/after dinner activity which is a usually a walk to the park.

At the moment he is fighting his nap. He was ready for a nap at 12:45 but I wanted to him to eat as he didn’t eat a very good breakfast. He ate his lunch of macaroni (organic white cheddar opposed to our usual KD) and grapes. I gotta say my kid loves pasta and grapes!

As for the formula, I am going to do 50/50 mixture of formula and milk, he went for this yesterday and get it to 75/25 and eventually get it to 100% milk. He doesn’t care for milk very much. We drink 1% milk in our family I hope this has enough fat in it for him as he is over two now.


I am stoked! While I was in Vancouver I was able to complete a reading and writing assessment at a college I want to attend. I got my results, and I passed. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but I am above the cut off and don’t need to take an English course. What is so shocking about this, I wrote the test after a few shit nights of sleep sharing a room with Aaron at my dad’s. I nearly bagged off the writing portion of the test as I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I did manage to scarf down an apple strudel, banana an peanut bar in the 10 minutes between tests as the cafeteria happened to be open.

The person who marked my test wrote “Well done” on my essay portion. I wonder what s/he was smoking. I thought it was complete crap! My paragraphs were unorganized, but I must have done something write. I chose to write about how my life was changed by technology. (Hello! This was up my alley) I did 3 sub topics car, computer/internet and cell phone. I guess longer was better in my case as I rambled IMO.

I want to take a Unit Clerk course and it may work out to take in Vancouver next year if we can time it while Eric is deployed. I am still not sure where we will be as a couple in coming weeks or months. But I am still planning for my future.

I want to go back to school and am in the process of trying to upgrade for nursing. The Unit Clerk program is 8 months and is filler, something to fall back on. Apparently there is a hiring freeze at the moment so I really will think if I take the course.

Once I upgrade I want to get into nursing. I am trying to do Biology 12 online which is proving to be hard as Aaron isn’t on a schedule and by the time he is sleeping/napping I need to sleep/nap/clean myself. To any young person that may be reading this, let this be a lesson to you. Don’t chat your ass off to your BFF’s in high school when you get the chance to learn, USE IT. I regret this dearly. You’ll regret it later. (If only I could drill this into my 15-year-old nieces head)

So we will see where my professional life/school life goes in the next dew months. I need to bang off biology, math and chem to upgrade for Nursing. God help me!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Parenting a toddler is friggin’ exhausting at times. It is very apparent today. Parenting a toddler solo is even harder. What is even more difficult is when Eric gets home from sea and steps in and takes the tough parent approach and we butt heads on parenting. Aaron hasn’t been the easiest lately. He doesn’t eat, he fights sleep, he has a tantrum the second something doesn’t go his way (this is what toddlers do, I know) and is always pushing our buttons.

For me the most frustrating thing about Aaron is the fighting sleep and the no eating. I went to our doctor two weeks ago to discuss Aaron’s eating habits and I was told that I needed to take him off of formula pronto. I give it to him because he’s eats so poorly. My doctor said that toddlers are smart and they will hold out for that bottle. I haven’t cut the bottle (formula) out completely as I don’t do things cold turkey with Aaron. He still gets a bottle before bed. I am doing my best to get him on a schedule. I’ve resisted it for so long being a stay at home mom to a non school age child allows for me to be flexible with our days. I realize that this isn’t in Aaron’s the best interest and am trying to rectify this.

Today I attempted to feed him breakfast of cheerios, fruit juice and a peach, at 8am. He barely ate anything. On the way to play group he had some grapes, and some bread. He didn’t have a snack there as he grazed. I tried to feed him lunch at 12-1230 of rice pilaf with mixed veggies something he eats as well as yogurt. Both went untouched. I had to force the first bite of yogurt on him as I often do have to force him to taste something then he realizes “Hey I like this.” And then he’ll eat it on his own. Today he got so pissed off at me when I did this and made a horrible exaggerated gagging noise that my ears have never had the displeasure of that noise befalling them. I don’t know what his problem the yogurt was sweet enough for his palate.

I don’t force him to eat, I am not that parent. When he is older I will not force him to eat his dinner before he is allowed to leave the table. If he isn’t hungry he doesn’t have to eat, but I will expect him to sit at the table until he rest of the family is done and he won’t be allowed to eat anything else until he eats what he was served for supper.

So I am trying to put him on a schedule… it isn’t easy at the moment he is fighting his nap. He was lying on the floor before lunch with his blanket and soother which he does when he is tired. I wanted him to eat first and he didn’t. I am beginning to wonder if I should’ve put him top bed then, but that doesn’t help him getting on a schedule. I know he wants a bottle, but I am trying to get away from this.

He goes to bed at 9pm. I know this is way too late, and we are trying to whittle it down. Sometimes when he is lying on the ground at 7-730 so we start his bedtime routine, and his bath perks him up. And then by the time we put him to bed he fight sleep for an hour or two. By the time he is asleep I am exhausted and don’t get to do what I intended to. In the last week I have wanted to complete a unit in my biology and apply for a job that requires more effort than hitting submit of an email with my cover letter and resume attached. I’ve done neither.

Said job looks as though is were tailor made for me, and I want it. I think the time has come for me to go back to work, I am just waiting for the right the job and I am being choosey. When I was in Vancouver last week, I applied for 3 jobs off of CL and I had an interview. The job market in Vancouver more penetrable than here. I never took the job nor was offered but it never hurts to have interview experience.

Bottom line is I need this boy on a schedule so I can have my life in more order. If anyone has any advice/assvice pertaining to this or how long it takes to put a strong willed two-year-old on a schedule please enlighten me.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Hell In A Hand Basket?

I was searching our local Craiglists type site for various outdoor toys that I want to buy for Aaron and thought that maybe I could get some help with the yard. I don't have time to do intensive yard work. If Aaron were not mobile or he actually listened it may be feasible, but at the moment it just isn't.

The next best thing is to pay someone to do this for me. So I started cruising the services section and I found the ad for a an 18-year-old looking to make some extra cash. My mind went "hmmm..". and I emailed him. I've already gotten a reponse.

Eric just thinks that I want a strapping young lad to watch while he labours away. I'll be honest and admit that the thought may have entered my mind but my really reason is I am tired of looking at a jungle of a yard. I will email him back granted that Eric will agree to pay for such services. I think I may be going to hell as well.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Horticulture Anyone?

Who needs a gym membership or to go to hot yoga when you have a toddler to chase after or a big backyard to mow? Aaron was looking out my bedroom window and I was getting after him to not pull our curtains towels down which is ghetto but it’s in the back of the house so no one sees them but us. (When we first moved into our old place we spent $100’s of dollars on window treatments only to move 10 months later and not have them fit) My neighbour asked if he wanted to go play in her backyard with her kids.

I gladly accepted. It was a good opportunity to mow the entire back yard and front yard. And did I sweat. I am not talking about a few inches of grass but at least half a foot. Mowing the lawn is typically Eric’s job, but seeing how he is not here, it falls on me.

I didn’t stop at mowing the lawn; I broke out the hedge clippers and went to town on my front yard. My ward looked like a jungle before I went to town. Now it just looks unkept.

We are renters and our house is a POS, but in a good neighbourhood. Our land lady has let the place go, and there haven’t been any upgrades to the house since it was built some time in the 1950’s. We live here because the rent is a steal, and it was the first viable option when we needed to get out of our old place lickety split.

Typically, I don’t care about a rental as I would if I owned, but I am sick of the curb appeal or lack there of and I want our place to just fit in with the rest of the houses on our street. So I’ve slowly, been trying to get the place looking decent. I haven’t done yard work in my adolescent or adult life! Clearly, horticulture isn’t not my forte I just snip what looks gangly, I don’t take a few snips then stand back check/admire my work as one does when they decorate a Christmas tree. Which I only started doing this two Christmases ago (What do expect from a girl who was raised by a man?) when Eric pointed out that I decorated the tree in clumps and I needed to stand back and check my decorating as his mom taught him. Who knew Christmas trees didn’t just come out looking good when so much thought and care was put into the decorations?

I don’t know the point of this post, but my toddler is in bed which means I can wash away the grim from a day of travelling and yard work and go to bed myself.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I am zonked. I just got back to my dad`s after writing 3 hours worth of assessments I needed to complete in order to apply for a program I want to take.

I was going to write the simple things I miss in life that I used to take for granted, but I don`t have the drive or the energy.

I want to talk about my plans to go into nursing which includes about a year of upgrading and an even longer wait list.

I wanted to blog about dating and what I observed about one of my friends.

But I am going to bed.

Head over to Whoorl and take at stab at her soon to be daughters name. Or go see S.I.F. as she blogs daily about her quest to motherhood. You won`t be disappointed.

I bid you adieu.

Monday, June 7, 2010

I may or may not have straddled something.

I had an eventful Saturday night. When you get five girls getting ready and drinking you usually get good times. Good times were had by all. Myself and four of my BFF's headed out for a night on the town to a local gay bar.

This was a first for all of us. I initially suggested it as some of my friends are not comfortable in night clubs. These particular friends’ declared that they liked this particular club and would be going back. We all hate it when we go out for a night of dancing and you get squished on the dance floor and strange men feel it’s okay to start rubbing up on us. So not cool.

I remember when I turned 19 and lived at my favourite bar three nights a week I actually screamed at a guy for trying to dance with me when I gave no indication whatsoever that I was interested in dancing. I wasn't going out to get hammered three times a week, I was 19 and discovered a bar I liked and that I liked to dance. Especially line dancing. My best friend at the time had just moved here for school and I got her into it. We worked the same job that summer the same shift 2pm-10am perfect for bar stars such as ourselves. And we had a blast that summer.

I am happy to report the none of us got mauled on the dance floor. Two of my friends got nods from other women. We are trying to decipher these nods. If a) people assumed they were a couple or b) they were showing an interest in my friends? I don't know proper etiquette of a gay night club but I was drunk and the music was good so I danced with my girls and has a good time. I also managed to be hit on by one of the few straight guys in the club and had a drink bought for me by said guy.

Maybe the straight guys are catching on to our little secret.

So I did say that there may or may not have been some straddling on my part. What happens when five drunks girls get off at the wrong Skytrain stop? They walk longer than they have to and pause for random photo ops.

We were walking by an Armory and a friend and I decided to climb up on a cannon and for the photo op, It's a horrible pic which is the only reason I am posting it.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

First Kiss

Aaron had his first kiss from a girl today. A girl twice his age. We went to the pool tonight and as we were leaving and walking down the steps I was holding his hand and we were walking at at Aaron's pace and a little girl who had been the pool came right up to him and kissed him the forehead. It was too cute. The she proudly went up to what I assume was her older sister or baby sitter and said "I kissed the baby."

Of course Aaron was oblivious to the whole thing. I didn't have the heart to tell him that when he's at an age where he wants to kiss girls, that most are so foward. And he got lucky tonight.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

For Your Viewing Pleasure

This is my niece sleeping in her car seat last weekend.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Did You Know....

Aaron, the cat and I are over at my dad's this week. We'll be staying for a week or so. This trip was planned prior to things going down with Eric and I. I've been immersing myself in activities with my girls and taking advantage of the free baby sitting. I just gotta say it feels great! Tonight we went to the mall and grabbed a bite to eat. Tomorrow we may or may not be hitting a gay night club.

Two of my girls are with the times and have iPhones. As much as I have been resisting the iPhone part of me wants one now based on one app alone. Did you know there is an app for your PERIOD? (Sorry guys) I was blown away as my friend showed me how you put in your date, and it will tell you when you should bleed and for how long, your most fertile days and when you ovulate. It even has a spot to put in if you have been intimate. Which is a great feature for the women on Maury who don't know who their baby daddy is.

I can see it know. Tawanda will be telling her story to Maury and she will say ``But my iPhone said I was ovulating on X date so I just know that Tyrell is the father and not Joey`` And then when the the results are in and Maury looks at Joey ans says `When it comes to the paternity of Baby X, Joey YOU ARE THE FATHER!` Tawanda will go screaming off the stage in tears `But my iPhone said....`

I assume the maker of the app has a disclaimer otherwise I can see them getting sued.

I gotta get me one of them iPhones. Hell even my dad got one. I may be taking over his contract and he may be taking over my cell as he is technically illiterate and him and the iPhone don`t jive to well. Then I will know who my next baby daddy is.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My Perspective

The song The Cowboy in Me by Tim McGraw sums up Eric from my perspective. Just substitute the word cowboy for sailor as that's his occupation. (I am not using sailor in the classic sense. As he has a woman in every port. That isn't the issue.)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's Complicated

My life isn’t a country song. Or that’s what I keep telling myself.

Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.

This is what my life has been like the past few weeks. My emotions are constantly in motion and it’s making me sick. I have emotional motion sickness if that is even possible. I want the constant motion to stop. I am scared if I do, it will feel better but hurt Aaron in the long run.

My relationship with Eric has gone awry and I’m not sure if there is a way to fix it. I’m not sure if it’s salvageable or if I even want to. We keep doing the same song and dance and if we don’t get out soon were going to become bitter and resentful towards each other and end up hating each other and not knowing why.

If I were to update my Facebook relationship status it would read “It’s complicated.” But my Facebook status will not read that as I am not one to air my dirty laundry on Facebook. If my relationship status does change, I’ll simply remove my relationship status from my info page.

I am not sure where we go from here. If I stay in Victoria or move back to Vancouver so I have the support of my family with Aaron. My dilemma is that I’d like to stay in Victoria so that Eric my see Aaron whenever he wants to. (I’d never deny him access to his son or make it difficult for him to see Aaron.) But I lack family here, which doesn’t help me when I need a break or need last minute baby sitting for a job interview or an appointment. Eric sails, so he isn’t here all the time either. So it’s not as though he can spell me out when needed. That is my dilemma. I don’t want Eric and Aaron’s relationship to be dictated by BC Ferries but so may be the case.

I am not sure what is what. But I’m tired of crying all the time.

Wordless Wednsday

Get a load of those lips!
Even in the NICU my niece perfected the pouty lip.
A heart breaker she is destined to be.