Tonight Aaron and I had to go to the walk-in clinic for a quick check up. He is due to fly up to his paternal grandparents with Eric for the holidays, and I don't want an ear infection cancelling the trip like last time. So I had the doctor look in his ears and one is a little iffy. I will take him back in two days. If it is still iffy, on to antibiotics he goes. I hate to put him on them, but if it means he is missing out on Christmas, he can go on them.
We initially went to the walk-in clinic for his ears, but I left worried about his eyes. As we were leaving he wanted to draw his name on the chalk bored. He spelled his name correctly; however, he wrote it right to left instead of left to right and some of his letters were backwards and off. Now, he is only 4 1/2, but I know this can be a sign of dyslexia. I am not freaking out, but I am a tad concerned.
I immediately called his coordinator and told her she wasn't sure what the next step in getting a diagnosis is. She will find out, and get back to me. In the meantime a trip to the family doctor and/or a referral to a paediatrician is in order. In Canada, children do not see a paediatrician unless it is a special circumstance. I am not upset but a little bit worried.... I have this nagging feeling, Why I don't know, but I do. I guess we will find out sooner or later. If dyslexia is the case, I know if it is caught soon enough, a lot can be done for Aaron, just as the autism was caught early and early intervention has been HUGE in the success he has had.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, December 17, 2012
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I Don’t Recognize Myself
Something in me has changed over the last day or so and I don’t know what to account for that change. Eric is away right for the next 2 weeks so it is just Aaron and I. Something is different about me.
I am calmer with Aaron and OMG I actually WANT to clean. If you know me, I lack a lot of patience when it comes to parenting. I also loathe cleaning with a passion! And if the task can be put off, then by God it will be put off!
I have had a very busy 24 hours as outlined in my two brief posts I wrote yesterday. I was able t among all the stuff I had to do, I actually parented Aaron the way I would want to be parented.
There were a few moments when he was going into full blown toddler meltdown mode and my reaction to the situation would either add fuel to the fire or diffuse it.
I don’t remember exactly what the situation was as we have many situations like these through out our days and I am just too tired to remember.
There was one moment yesterday where I just wanted to nap. I knew he needed one, I needed one and I nap best when it is just Aaron and I. I don’t know why. Maybe it goes back to our baby days when we would co-sleep for our naps but I usually nap best if he is home with me.
I do miss those days and I miss him being at home with me. I am pretty sure that a job is in the near future for me. I am optimistic but don’t want put the cart too far in front of the horse. I have to submit a security clearance and pending that, I am hopeful that an offer will be made.
Which makes me wonder if I have missed out these last 5 months of Aaron being in daycare instead of him being at home, with me. I tear up thinking about it. Developmentally, we felt it was the best thing for him. And his speech progress is making leaps and bounds. Some of the things that come out of his mouth surprise me and I marvel at him.
I am so thankful that his speech his coming. I really don’t know what to attribute my calm demeanor to, but whoever or whatever I am thankful to.
And I actually cleaned, without being told to. I don’t know what it is but my house’s lack of organization and clutter is eating away at me. I may be this subconscious nesting I feel to do in preparation for going back to work. Because I can see how being organized will make life so much easier especially when everything will fall on me. This includes but is not limited too parenting, cleaning, and getting crap down around the house.
Eric had a big deployment coming up but we don’t know the details or dates which is maddening. But thankfully now that the damn election was over with, the government can make some decisions for our Canadian Forces. (In case you didn’t know, Canada had a federal election yesterday. We have a Conservative majority and the NDP as the official opposition. [That is history in itself])
And yes, I voted.
Even more historic, is the fact that I cleaned out my freezer tonight without a fuss or procrastinating.
Yes, you read right. I Siera, cleaned out my freezer tonight.
Actually, it started as me saying to myself that I would organize it, but in while in the middle of the deed, it was apparent that a wipe down was needed. Thankfully, it was just some debris and spilled vegetables and not raw meat juice.
Sometimes I think that the clean fairies are going to come and rescue me, but in reality only I will rescue me.
Well until Eric gets home or my dad comes for a visit.
I am calmer with Aaron and OMG I actually WANT to clean. If you know me, I lack a lot of patience when it comes to parenting. I also loathe cleaning with a passion! And if the task can be put off, then by God it will be put off!
I have had a very busy 24 hours as outlined in my two brief posts I wrote yesterday. I was able t among all the stuff I had to do, I actually parented Aaron the way I would want to be parented.
There were a few moments when he was going into full blown toddler meltdown mode and my reaction to the situation would either add fuel to the fire or diffuse it.
I don’t remember exactly what the situation was as we have many situations like these through out our days and I am just too tired to remember.
There was one moment yesterday where I just wanted to nap. I knew he needed one, I needed one and I nap best when it is just Aaron and I. I don’t know why. Maybe it goes back to our baby days when we would co-sleep for our naps but I usually nap best if he is home with me.
I do miss those days and I miss him being at home with me. I am pretty sure that a job is in the near future for me. I am optimistic but don’t want put the cart too far in front of the horse. I have to submit a security clearance and pending that, I am hopeful that an offer will be made.
Which makes me wonder if I have missed out these last 5 months of Aaron being in daycare instead of him being at home, with me. I tear up thinking about it. Developmentally, we felt it was the best thing for him. And his speech progress is making leaps and bounds. Some of the things that come out of his mouth surprise me and I marvel at him.
I am so thankful that his speech his coming. I really don’t know what to attribute my calm demeanor to, but whoever or whatever I am thankful to.
And I actually cleaned, without being told to. I don’t know what it is but my house’s lack of organization and clutter is eating away at me. I may be this subconscious nesting I feel to do in preparation for going back to work. Because I can see how being organized will make life so much easier especially when everything will fall on me. This includes but is not limited too parenting, cleaning, and getting crap down around the house.
Eric had a big deployment coming up but we don’t know the details or dates which is maddening. But thankfully now that the damn election was over with, the government can make some decisions for our Canadian Forces. (In case you didn’t know, Canada had a federal election yesterday. We have a Conservative majority and the NDP as the official opposition. [That is history in itself])
And yes, I voted.
Even more historic, is the fact that I cleaned out my freezer tonight without a fuss or procrastinating.
Yes, you read right. I Siera, cleaned out my freezer tonight.
Actually, it started as me saying to myself that I would organize it, but in while in the middle of the deed, it was apparent that a wipe down was needed. Thankfully, it was just some debris and spilled vegetables and not raw meat juice.
Sometimes I think that the clean fairies are going to come and rescue me, but in reality only I will rescue me.
Well until Eric gets home or my dad comes for a visit.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Once a Mom, Always a Mom.
My New Years Eve wasn't what I thought it would be. Having secured a baby sitter a month in advance, I had plans. I had BIG plans. I haven't been thoroughly drunk on New Years in years. It's been so long, I can't remember. This year was to be the YEAR! I had a baby sitter! Not just any sitter, but a FREE baby sitter. And a trusted sitter. My aunt. What more could a mom want? A safe baby sitter for a child so she could go and have a care free night.
Once I had secured my aunt to baby sit, I immediately wanted to figure out a plan and decide who I'd be spending it with. One thing was certain, I wanted to spend it with Tara. I called her and she readily agreed to spend NYE with me. We didn't have a specific plan per se. We knew it would involve alcohol and a care free night.
As New Years approached we still didn't have a game plane. Nobody wanted to commit to anything. We couldn't rally other people together. I like house parties, but all my Vancouver friends are scattered and I don't hang out with one specific group. Before Christmas, Tara and I decided that we wanted to go to a ticketed event downtown Vancouver of some sort. We still didn't have a venue. Throughout all this time we both maintained that we didn't want TM (he boyfriend? IDK WTF he is to her) to be part of our plans.
A few days before NYE we decided we wanted to go to a pub. Which one didn't matter. She left it up to me. I picked one a random. When I was trying to buy a ticket online, is where we ran into problems. I had called the pub and the been advised where to buy tickets online. Said task proved to be more difficult than I thought. I searched by date, venue, event, NYE, I googled and I couldn't get a link. So I said F*** it. We'll go else where.
So I made a back up plan. Throughout this, Tara and I were texting and/or talking on the phone. I got a text at 10:30pm on Tuesday night that TM wanted to join us.
The ball had just dropped. I can't stand the guy. Nor could I stand to spend an evening with him. It just wasn't happening. Having already had an emotional day, I told Tara that I would talk to her about it in the morning and that wasn't up to discussing it.
In the course of a night, I made a decision. I wasn't going to put Tara in a position to choose between a friend and her boyfriend. I accepted an invitation to another friend's place. I felt good about the decision. It would be a quiet girls night in with food, drinks, games and movies. After a Christmas and family that failed to live up to my expectations, I wanted to go into NYE having none.
I told Tara this the next morning. I assured her I wasn't mad at her. But that I wasn't up to dealing with TM and his bull crap.
I had my plans and they were set.
But then TM went an pulled a TM. He got tickets to an event without asking Tara. And event that she didn't want to attend, that he knew she wouldn't want to so he went and bought them tickets because he wanted to go.
She asked me to spend NYE with her. She said she'd take care of pre-drinks at her place and she'd pay for the cab to and from. A house party even came up that we had hope to would come up.
I still said no. She was more than welcome to come to my friend's place and have a girls night in. It was an option.
She thought about it, but as to not ruffle TM's feathers she cowed to him.
I went about my plans. I went to my friend's place for a girls night in. My friend Hailey, has a 5 YO daughter Amber. She would be spending it with us. She also invited two of Amber's friends 2 adorable twin boys to keep her entertained. Cole and Jayden.
The plans were to eat food, watch movies, play games and have girl time.
I ate. I watched movies. And I danced. I drank a wee bit.
I built forts. I got snacks. I got drinks. I supervised movies. I got pillows and blankets.
My NYE was divided between girl time and kid time.
It was apparent from my arrival that Hailey had no activities set up for the kids. I had suggested that we make sundaes or smoothies but she blew them off. I am not THAT MOM. The one who always has an activity lined up for her kid or the day planned out all the time. The mom's I envy. The mom's I feel we born for motherhood. Whose livelihood all day long is her child(ren).
But, I am a mom.
When Aaron takes my hand and wants to show me something, I stop and I take the time. I want him to know that he is loved and that I WANT to spend time with him and nothing is more important than him. (Well maybe making sure the house doesn't burn down when cooking. And that I won't be at his every beck and call, as it's called manners and interrupting and all that)
I am a mom who knows her child need activities and want to feel valued. It was apparent from the time I got to Hailey's that she doesn't value her daughter. That she seemed like a nuisance It was apparent in the way she spoke to her and treated her. When we were downstairs watching movie or dancing all crazy Amber just wanted to join. She wanted to belong, to be one of the grown ups. I remember that when I was a little girl.
She kept saying to her "Amber, go UPSTAIRS!"
It broke my heart. And those little boys Cole and Jayden were two well behaved perfect little angels. And they don't have a mom in their life. Only their dad. I spent a lot of time playing with them, fetching them stuff, and making sure all was well. I told them if they needed anything to let me know and I'd get it. I said I'd help them make another Wii character as there were 2 girls and only 1 boy. And no boy wants to play a girl. So I did. I was a mom.
I knew they grew tired what they were playing with so I made them a fort. When they were hungry, I got them a snack. When they looked like they were ready to go to sleep, I got them blankets and pillows.
I didn't mind. IMO the kids were up way too late and should have been in bed by 10pm, not 1pm. But I am not their mom. Hailey said they could stay up till midnight. So when it was getting close I had them get their coats on and I gather up pots and pans for them to bang. It was a fun night.
The night wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was good night.
I mothered and I got smiles. When I left this morning, I got some smiles out of the boys. I wanted to make them breakfast, but I didn't have time as I had to be back at my dad's, to be with Aaron. If I had had the time, I would've.
One thing that is apparent, and I have always maintained. Some of my old friends, that I have been friends with for years, I don't think we'd be friends as we just don't seem to have things in common. Like parenting.
Once I had secured my aunt to baby sit, I immediately wanted to figure out a plan and decide who I'd be spending it with. One thing was certain, I wanted to spend it with Tara. I called her and she readily agreed to spend NYE with me. We didn't have a specific plan per se. We knew it would involve alcohol and a care free night.
As New Years approached we still didn't have a game plane. Nobody wanted to commit to anything. We couldn't rally other people together. I like house parties, but all my Vancouver friends are scattered and I don't hang out with one specific group. Before Christmas, Tara and I decided that we wanted to go to a ticketed event downtown Vancouver of some sort. We still didn't have a venue. Throughout all this time we both maintained that we didn't want TM (he boyfriend? IDK WTF he is to her) to be part of our plans.
A few days before NYE we decided we wanted to go to a pub. Which one didn't matter. She left it up to me. I picked one a random. When I was trying to buy a ticket online, is where we ran into problems. I had called the pub and the been advised where to buy tickets online. Said task proved to be more difficult than I thought. I searched by date, venue, event, NYE, I googled and I couldn't get a link. So I said F*** it. We'll go else where.
So I made a back up plan. Throughout this, Tara and I were texting and/or talking on the phone. I got a text at 10:30pm on Tuesday night that TM wanted to join us.
The ball had just dropped. I can't stand the guy. Nor could I stand to spend an evening with him. It just wasn't happening. Having already had an emotional day, I told Tara that I would talk to her about it in the morning and that wasn't up to discussing it.
In the course of a night, I made a decision. I wasn't going to put Tara in a position to choose between a friend and her boyfriend. I accepted an invitation to another friend's place. I felt good about the decision. It would be a quiet girls night in with food, drinks, games and movies. After a Christmas and family that failed to live up to my expectations, I wanted to go into NYE having none.
I told Tara this the next morning. I assured her I wasn't mad at her. But that I wasn't up to dealing with TM and his bull crap.
I had my plans and they were set.
But then TM went an pulled a TM. He got tickets to an event without asking Tara. And event that she didn't want to attend, that he knew she wouldn't want to so he went and bought them tickets because he wanted to go.
She asked me to spend NYE with her. She said she'd take care of pre-drinks at her place and she'd pay for the cab to and from. A house party even came up that we had hope to would come up.
I still said no. She was more than welcome to come to my friend's place and have a girls night in. It was an option.
She thought about it, but as to not ruffle TM's feathers she cowed to him.
I went about my plans. I went to my friend's place for a girls night in. My friend Hailey, has a 5 YO daughter Amber. She would be spending it with us. She also invited two of Amber's friends 2 adorable twin boys to keep her entertained. Cole and Jayden.
The plans were to eat food, watch movies, play games and have girl time.
I ate. I watched movies. And I danced. I drank a wee bit.
I built forts. I got snacks. I got drinks. I supervised movies. I got pillows and blankets.
My NYE was divided between girl time and kid time.
It was apparent from my arrival that Hailey had no activities set up for the kids. I had suggested that we make sundaes or smoothies but she blew them off. I am not THAT MOM. The one who always has an activity lined up for her kid or the day planned out all the time. The mom's I envy. The mom's I feel we born for motherhood. Whose livelihood all day long is her child(ren).
But, I am a mom.
When Aaron takes my hand and wants to show me something, I stop and I take the time. I want him to know that he is loved and that I WANT to spend time with him and nothing is more important than him. (Well maybe making sure the house doesn't burn down when cooking. And that I won't be at his every beck and call, as it's called manners and interrupting and all that)
I am a mom who knows her child need activities and want to feel valued. It was apparent from the time I got to Hailey's that she doesn't value her daughter. That she seemed like a nuisance It was apparent in the way she spoke to her and treated her. When we were downstairs watching movie or dancing all crazy Amber just wanted to join. She wanted to belong, to be one of the grown ups. I remember that when I was a little girl.
She kept saying to her "Amber, go UPSTAIRS!"
It broke my heart. And those little boys Cole and Jayden were two well behaved perfect little angels. And they don't have a mom in their life. Only their dad. I spent a lot of time playing with them, fetching them stuff, and making sure all was well. I told them if they needed anything to let me know and I'd get it. I said I'd help them make another Wii character as there were 2 girls and only 1 boy. And no boy wants to play a girl. So I did. I was a mom.
I knew they grew tired what they were playing with so I made them a fort. When they were hungry, I got them a snack. When they looked like they were ready to go to sleep, I got them blankets and pillows.
I didn't mind. IMO the kids were up way too late and should have been in bed by 10pm, not 1pm. But I am not their mom. Hailey said they could stay up till midnight. So when it was getting close I had them get their coats on and I gather up pots and pans for them to bang. It was a fun night.
The night wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was good night.
I mothered and I got smiles. When I left this morning, I got some smiles out of the boys. I wanted to make them breakfast, but I didn't have time as I had to be back at my dad's, to be with Aaron. If I had had the time, I would've.
One thing that is apparent, and I have always maintained. Some of my old friends, that I have been friends with for years, I don't think we'd be friends as we just don't seem to have things in common. Like parenting.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Parenting and stuff
Aaron and I took an impromptu trip to the beach (ocean) today. We only stayed an hour or so we waded, and walked along the shoreline until the sea weed got to gross headed back to our towels had lunch and headed home.
It was a pleasant trip and I made small talk with a grandma while we ate lunch. We observed a little boy about six-years-old and his two-year-old bother playing. Or more so the 6 YO screaming at his 2 YO brother “BILLY STOP BEING ANOYING!” Their grandma came over to see what the fuss was. 6 YO boy demands that his grandma take his brother away so he can play without being bothered.
Both the lady and I were appalled by this little boy’s behavior. What makes it worse was that the grandma took the 2YO away after telling 6 YO that he hurt his bothers feelings. The poor thing was in tears.
We had a great conversation on parenting and she reflected on both her daughters parenting styles and how one set of grand kids rules the roost while the others are good (as can be) kids.
It all comes down to parenting. I can be pretty lose with the rules. But I am trying my best to be consistent and lay down the law. One thing I know, I would never tolerate Aaron speaking to me the way that little boy spoke to his grandma. If Aaron ever did, I guarantee you he wouldn’t for a long time following that.
One thing I’ve been that I’ve been hearing that is if you let your kids walk all over you and certain behaviors get out of hand it only gets worse the older they get.
Dinner time is a big thing with us right now. Aaron will not eat at the table, he gets up and plays and tries to play musical laps. It is very annoying. The last few nights I’ve given him the option to sit and eat at the table at dinner or he can stay in his crib. He actually walked to his crib and took my hand and pulled me towards it to put him in.
I do not force him to eat but I expect him sit with the family for the meal.
We also deal with a lot of tantrums as Aaron can’t verbalize his thoughts and feelings as he doesn’t yet have the words too. If he wants something he shakes his wrists at me and says “uh.” I am working on him saying please if he wants something and I don’t give it to him until he says it or attempts it.
Being a parent is tough work. I wish I had a way or trick to use to get him to eat dinner at the table.
It was a pleasant trip and I made small talk with a grandma while we ate lunch. We observed a little boy about six-years-old and his two-year-old bother playing. Or more so the 6 YO screaming at his 2 YO brother “BILLY STOP BEING ANOYING!” Their grandma came over to see what the fuss was. 6 YO boy demands that his grandma take his brother away so he can play without being bothered.
Both the lady and I were appalled by this little boy’s behavior. What makes it worse was that the grandma took the 2YO away after telling 6 YO that he hurt his bothers feelings. The poor thing was in tears.
We had a great conversation on parenting and she reflected on both her daughters parenting styles and how one set of grand kids rules the roost while the others are good (as can be) kids.
It all comes down to parenting. I can be pretty lose with the rules. But I am trying my best to be consistent and lay down the law. One thing I know, I would never tolerate Aaron speaking to me the way that little boy spoke to his grandma. If Aaron ever did, I guarantee you he wouldn’t for a long time following that.
One thing I’ve been that I’ve been hearing that is if you let your kids walk all over you and certain behaviors get out of hand it only gets worse the older they get.
Dinner time is a big thing with us right now. Aaron will not eat at the table, he gets up and plays and tries to play musical laps. It is very annoying. The last few nights I’ve given him the option to sit and eat at the table at dinner or he can stay in his crib. He actually walked to his crib and took my hand and pulled me towards it to put him in.
I do not force him to eat but I expect him sit with the family for the meal.
We also deal with a lot of tantrums as Aaron can’t verbalize his thoughts and feelings as he doesn’t yet have the words too. If he wants something he shakes his wrists at me and says “uh.” I am working on him saying please if he wants something and I don’t give it to him until he says it or attempts it.
Being a parent is tough work. I wish I had a way or trick to use to get him to eat dinner at the table.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Wall Flower
This is a bit of a rant. I'm sure SciFi Dad can relate
I am currently camping out at Hotel In-Laws. To say that I am enjoying myself, would be an overstatement. Eric, Aaron and I made our yearly trek up to Calgary. At the moment Eric and I are coasting along. The real issue is me and I have some feelings to work through and ultimately the state of our relationship is in my hands. I am assessing if he is what I want in a partner. And I'll leave it at that for now.
My relationship with my in-laws is pretty touch and go. Especially my MIL. She is hard woman to read and is an alpha female (I've been told. I think this translates into she always has to be right, disagree with everything you say and shoot me down) I used to love my FIL until his true colors came out. I guess not living in the same vicinity as someone you really don't a get a chance to know them. I don't feel welcome at their house anymore. The only reason I came as I didn't think Eric could handle the drive from Vancouver to Calgary alone with Aaron and I was right. I'd been happy to camp out at my dad's sans Eric and Aaron, but I put my son's needs ahead of my own, as that's what a parent does.
My FIL can make some really off hand remarks and cruel comments. Usually they're directed to my MIL and it has something to do with her weight. If any male partner of mine spoke to me the way he does to her I'd be out of that relationship before he could day good-bye. I've never put up with any type of abuse be it verbal or physical. I've been in two past relationships and where both guys exhibited signs of control. Both ended pretty quickly. One lasted a month and the other five days.
In the last 2 visits with my in-laws, my FIL has made some comments that have been rude and upsetting. I don't remember the last one last year. But obviously he doesn't feel the way he once used to about me. Last night the five of us MIL, FIL, Aaron, Eric and I took a drive across town to see their new digs as their moving. One the way back, Aaron was getting antsy and pulling on his hoody. We were on Deerfoot and I asked FIL if he could pull over so I could take Aaron's sweater off. He said something along the lines of "That's a stupid f***ing idea, you can't pull over on Deerfoot. Do you guys always give into his every squawk?" I was stunned into silence and I didn't give him a a reply. He pulled over at the next exit for us to deal with Aaron and that was that. He could've been more tactful and said "Right now isn't a good time to pull over but I will as soon as it's safe to do so." I was silent the rest of the way home and as soon as I had Aaron bathed and in bed I went out. I met up with a friend for coffee at 10pm. Whics is way later than I normally start a night out that doesn't involve alcohol. I just had to get away from this place. My friend was a sweetheart and said anytime while I am here I can come over to visit and bring Aaron. I think I will take her up on that.
I used to love coming to Calgary, but I don't anymore. I feel like a wall flower here. I am trying to blend in and stay out of every one's way and go out as much as possible or hide out in the basement and read. I let them deal with Aaron as much as they want as they only see him two times per year and the dote on him. But I don't leave the parenting to them. I've had fleeting thoughts and I second guess myself as a parent or that I am a bad parent, and he'd be better off raised by them as there so much better with him and he actually listens to them as opposed to Eric and I. On more than one occasion Eric and I have asked each other if were cut out to be parents as Aaron frustrates us so much at times we want to bang our head against the wall.
Before I got up here, I so needed a break from Aaron. He was getting to me, and I was looking forward to alone time so much that I almost didn't come but I knew what the outcome would be on that trip with Eric.
I was so stressed out in the days leading up to our trip, that I wasn't able to sleep for 3 days, I got worn out and got a nasty sinus/head cold/hacking up phlegm. I made the trip up here hacking my brains out and I even lost my voice. By the time we arrived my voice was a hoarse whisper and I just gave up on talking beyond needing to communicate basic needs. This is probably a good thing seeing as MIL and I butt heads she is probably delighted. And it has made me bite my tongue a lot. My MIL can say some pretty offhand things, and I've learned to smile and nod and bite my tongue. For example yesterday, I commented that I wanted to make a day trip to Edmonton with Eric sans Aaron and she said "Why would you want to go there? There is nothing up there." In a very negative tone implying her opinion was all that mattered. Mrs. Negativity. Now I know where Eric gets it from.
Eric was telling me what a shit hole Edmonton was, on our way out to the lake today and saying that I wasn't going to like it. So I said what was the point of going? And he said he'd still take me. I really don't want to start a day trip with that frame of mind, so I really don't want to go as I've already got a bad taste in my mouth. I can't wait to escape here and go to my dad's and have a few days to myself.
I am currently camping out at Hotel In-Laws. To say that I am enjoying myself, would be an overstatement. Eric, Aaron and I made our yearly trek up to Calgary. At the moment Eric and I are coasting along. The real issue is me and I have some feelings to work through and ultimately the state of our relationship is in my hands. I am assessing if he is what I want in a partner. And I'll leave it at that for now.
My relationship with my in-laws is pretty touch and go. Especially my MIL. She is hard woman to read and is an alpha female (I've been told. I think this translates into she always has to be right, disagree with everything you say and shoot me down) I used to love my FIL until his true colors came out. I guess not living in the same vicinity as someone you really don't a get a chance to know them. I don't feel welcome at their house anymore. The only reason I came as I didn't think Eric could handle the drive from Vancouver to Calgary alone with Aaron and I was right. I'd been happy to camp out at my dad's sans Eric and Aaron, but I put my son's needs ahead of my own, as that's what a parent does.
My FIL can make some really off hand remarks and cruel comments. Usually they're directed to my MIL and it has something to do with her weight. If any male partner of mine spoke to me the way he does to her I'd be out of that relationship before he could day good-bye. I've never put up with any type of abuse be it verbal or physical. I've been in two past relationships and where both guys exhibited signs of control. Both ended pretty quickly. One lasted a month and the other five days.
In the last 2 visits with my in-laws, my FIL has made some comments that have been rude and upsetting. I don't remember the last one last year. But obviously he doesn't feel the way he once used to about me. Last night the five of us MIL, FIL, Aaron, Eric and I took a drive across town to see their new digs as their moving. One the way back, Aaron was getting antsy and pulling on his hoody. We were on Deerfoot and I asked FIL if he could pull over so I could take Aaron's sweater off. He said something along the lines of "That's a stupid f***ing idea, you can't pull over on Deerfoot. Do you guys always give into his every squawk?" I was stunned into silence and I didn't give him a a reply. He pulled over at the next exit for us to deal with Aaron and that was that. He could've been more tactful and said "Right now isn't a good time to pull over but I will as soon as it's safe to do so." I was silent the rest of the way home and as soon as I had Aaron bathed and in bed I went out. I met up with a friend for coffee at 10pm. Whics is way later than I normally start a night out that doesn't involve alcohol. I just had to get away from this place. My friend was a sweetheart and said anytime while I am here I can come over to visit and bring Aaron. I think I will take her up on that.
I used to love coming to Calgary, but I don't anymore. I feel like a wall flower here. I am trying to blend in and stay out of every one's way and go out as much as possible or hide out in the basement and read. I let them deal with Aaron as much as they want as they only see him two times per year and the dote on him. But I don't leave the parenting to them. I've had fleeting thoughts and I second guess myself as a parent or that I am a bad parent, and he'd be better off raised by them as there so much better with him and he actually listens to them as opposed to Eric and I. On more than one occasion Eric and I have asked each other if were cut out to be parents as Aaron frustrates us so much at times we want to bang our head against the wall.
Before I got up here, I so needed a break from Aaron. He was getting to me, and I was looking forward to alone time so much that I almost didn't come but I knew what the outcome would be on that trip with Eric.
I was so stressed out in the days leading up to our trip, that I wasn't able to sleep for 3 days, I got worn out and got a nasty sinus/head cold/hacking up phlegm. I made the trip up here hacking my brains out and I even lost my voice. By the time we arrived my voice was a hoarse whisper and I just gave up on talking beyond needing to communicate basic needs. This is probably a good thing seeing as MIL and I butt heads she is probably delighted. And it has made me bite my tongue a lot. My MIL can say some pretty offhand things, and I've learned to smile and nod and bite my tongue. For example yesterday, I commented that I wanted to make a day trip to Edmonton with Eric sans Aaron and she said "Why would you want to go there? There is nothing up there." In a very negative tone implying her opinion was all that mattered. Mrs. Negativity. Now I know where Eric gets it from.
Eric was telling me what a shit hole Edmonton was, on our way out to the lake today and saying that I wasn't going to like it. So I said what was the point of going? And he said he'd still take me. I really don't want to start a day trip with that frame of mind, so I really don't want to go as I've already got a bad taste in my mouth. I can't wait to escape here and go to my dad's and have a few days to myself.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
A bit of an update on the Aaron and his schedule. Thanks to everyone who commented on my post the other day. I am doing my best to get him on and keep him on a schedule. I realize that I have to give up certain things for myself to do what is best by my son. Yesterday, I declined lunch with a friend as it fell during nap time. Her daughter is only 6 months old so she can flexible. I am going to focus on one thing at a time. My first focus is going to be Aaron’s sleep schedule. I am going to try to have bed time and nap time at the roughly the same time every day. At the moment he wakes up between 7-8am and his nap is between 12-2pm. I shoot for 1pm. yesterday he slept nearly 3 hours! He hasn’t done this in a long time.
For me I am taking the stance that bedtime is bedtime and this is when he is put to bed. If all his needs are met, including extra cuddles, he isn’t allowed out of his crib unless it’s for cuddles with me in the rocking chair. The moment he tries to get off of my lap its back into the crib. Sometimes he needs me to rock and sing to him to calm him but I don’t rock/sing him to sleep.
Our normal bedtime routine is a bath followed by a snack and quiet time in the living room with the lights dimmed and TV off. Sometimes he/we read books other times he does puzzles or plays with his cars. I try to avoid noisy toys and horseplay. I notice his activities through out the day will play a role on his level of energy I try to do something in the morning (usually playgroup) and an afternoon/after dinner activity which is a usually a walk to the park.
At the moment he is fighting his nap. He was ready for a nap at 12:45 but I wanted to him to eat as he didn’t eat a very good breakfast. He ate his lunch of macaroni (organic white cheddar opposed to our usual KD) and grapes. I gotta say my kid loves pasta and grapes!
As for the formula, I am going to do 50/50 mixture of formula and milk, he went for this yesterday and get it to 75/25 and eventually get it to 100% milk. He doesn’t care for milk very much. We drink 1% milk in our family I hope this has enough fat in it for him as he is over two now.
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I am stoked! While I was in Vancouver I was able to complete a reading and writing assessment at a college I want to attend. I got my results, and I passed. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but I am above the cut off and don’t need to take an English course. What is so shocking about this, I wrote the test after a few shit nights of sleep sharing a room with Aaron at my dad’s. I nearly bagged off the writing portion of the test as I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I did manage to scarf down an apple strudel, banana an peanut bar in the 10 minutes between tests as the cafeteria happened to be open.
The person who marked my test wrote “Well done” on my essay portion. I wonder what s/he was smoking. I thought it was complete crap! My paragraphs were unorganized, but I must have done something write. I chose to write about how my life was changed by technology. (Hello! This was up my alley) I did 3 sub topics car, computer/internet and cell phone. I guess longer was better in my case as I rambled IMO.
I want to take a Unit Clerk course and it may work out to take in Vancouver next year if we can time it while Eric is deployed. I am still not sure where we will be as a couple in coming weeks or months. But I am still planning for my future.
I want to go back to school and am in the process of trying to upgrade for nursing. The Unit Clerk program is 8 months and is filler, something to fall back on. Apparently there is a hiring freeze at the moment so I really will think if I take the course.
Once I upgrade I want to get into nursing. I am trying to do Biology 12 online which is proving to be hard as Aaron isn’t on a schedule and by the time he is sleeping/napping I need to sleep/nap/clean myself. To any young person that may be reading this, let this be a lesson to you. Don’t chat your ass off to your BFF’s in high school when you get the chance to learn, USE IT. I regret this dearly. You’ll regret it later. (If only I could drill this into my 15-year-old nieces head)
So we will see where my professional life/school life goes in the next dew months. I need to bang off biology, math and chem to upgrade for Nursing. God help me!
For me I am taking the stance that bedtime is bedtime and this is when he is put to bed. If all his needs are met, including extra cuddles, he isn’t allowed out of his crib unless it’s for cuddles with me in the rocking chair. The moment he tries to get off of my lap its back into the crib. Sometimes he needs me to rock and sing to him to calm him but I don’t rock/sing him to sleep.
Our normal bedtime routine is a bath followed by a snack and quiet time in the living room with the lights dimmed and TV off. Sometimes he/we read books other times he does puzzles or plays with his cars. I try to avoid noisy toys and horseplay. I notice his activities through out the day will play a role on his level of energy I try to do something in the morning (usually playgroup) and an afternoon/after dinner activity which is a usually a walk to the park.
At the moment he is fighting his nap. He was ready for a nap at 12:45 but I wanted to him to eat as he didn’t eat a very good breakfast. He ate his lunch of macaroni (organic white cheddar opposed to our usual KD) and grapes. I gotta say my kid loves pasta and grapes!
As for the formula, I am going to do 50/50 mixture of formula and milk, he went for this yesterday and get it to 75/25 and eventually get it to 100% milk. He doesn’t care for milk very much. We drink 1% milk in our family I hope this has enough fat in it for him as he is over two now.
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I am stoked! While I was in Vancouver I was able to complete a reading and writing assessment at a college I want to attend. I got my results, and I passed. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but I am above the cut off and don’t need to take an English course. What is so shocking about this, I wrote the test after a few shit nights of sleep sharing a room with Aaron at my dad’s. I nearly bagged off the writing portion of the test as I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I did manage to scarf down an apple strudel, banana an peanut bar in the 10 minutes between tests as the cafeteria happened to be open.
The person who marked my test wrote “Well done” on my essay portion. I wonder what s/he was smoking. I thought it was complete crap! My paragraphs were unorganized, but I must have done something write. I chose to write about how my life was changed by technology. (Hello! This was up my alley) I did 3 sub topics car, computer/internet and cell phone. I guess longer was better in my case as I rambled IMO.
I want to take a Unit Clerk course and it may work out to take in Vancouver next year if we can time it while Eric is deployed. I am still not sure where we will be as a couple in coming weeks or months. But I am still planning for my future.
I want to go back to school and am in the process of trying to upgrade for nursing. The Unit Clerk program is 8 months and is filler, something to fall back on. Apparently there is a hiring freeze at the moment so I really will think if I take the course.
Once I upgrade I want to get into nursing. I am trying to do Biology 12 online which is proving to be hard as Aaron isn’t on a schedule and by the time he is sleeping/napping I need to sleep/nap/clean myself. To any young person that may be reading this, let this be a lesson to you. Don’t chat your ass off to your BFF’s in high school when you get the chance to learn, USE IT. I regret this dearly. You’ll regret it later. (If only I could drill this into my 15-year-old nieces head)
So we will see where my professional life/school life goes in the next dew months. I need to bang off biology, math and chem to upgrade for Nursing. God help me!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Scheduling???
Parenting a toddler is friggin’ exhausting at times. It is very apparent today. Parenting a toddler solo is even harder. What is even more difficult is when Eric gets home from sea and steps in and takes the tough parent approach and we butt heads on parenting. Aaron hasn’t been the easiest lately. He doesn’t eat, he fights sleep, he has a tantrum the second something doesn’t go his way (this is what toddlers do, I know) and is always pushing our buttons.
For me the most frustrating thing about Aaron is the fighting sleep and the no eating. I went to our doctor two weeks ago to discuss Aaron’s eating habits and I was told that I needed to take him off of formula pronto. I give it to him because he’s eats so poorly. My doctor said that toddlers are smart and they will hold out for that bottle. I haven’t cut the bottle (formula) out completely as I don’t do things cold turkey with Aaron. He still gets a bottle before bed. I am doing my best to get him on a schedule. I’ve resisted it for so long being a stay at home mom to a non school age child allows for me to be flexible with our days. I realize that this isn’t in Aaron’s the best interest and am trying to rectify this.
Today I attempted to feed him breakfast of cheerios, fruit juice and a peach, at 8am. He barely ate anything. On the way to play group he had some grapes, and some bread. He didn’t have a snack there as he grazed. I tried to feed him lunch at 12-1230 of rice pilaf with mixed veggies something he eats as well as yogurt. Both went untouched. I had to force the first bite of yogurt on him as I often do have to force him to taste something then he realizes “Hey I like this.” And then he’ll eat it on his own. Today he got so pissed off at me when I did this and made a horrible exaggerated gagging noise that my ears have never had the displeasure of that noise befalling them. I don’t know what his problem the yogurt was sweet enough for his palate.
I don’t force him to eat, I am not that parent. When he is older I will not force him to eat his dinner before he is allowed to leave the table. If he isn’t hungry he doesn’t have to eat, but I will expect him to sit at the table until he rest of the family is done and he won’t be allowed to eat anything else until he eats what he was served for supper.
So I am trying to put him on a schedule… it isn’t easy at the moment he is fighting his nap. He was lying on the floor before lunch with his blanket and soother which he does when he is tired. I wanted him to eat first and he didn’t. I am beginning to wonder if I should’ve put him top bed then, but that doesn’t help him getting on a schedule. I know he wants a bottle, but I am trying to get away from this.
He goes to bed at 9pm. I know this is way too late, and we are trying to whittle it down. Sometimes when he is lying on the ground at 7-730 so we start his bedtime routine, and his bath perks him up. And then by the time we put him to bed he fight sleep for an hour or two. By the time he is asleep I am exhausted and don’t get to do what I intended to. In the last week I have wanted to complete a unit in my biology and apply for a job that requires more effort than hitting submit of an email with my cover letter and resume attached. I’ve done neither.
Said job looks as though is were tailor made for me, and I want it. I think the time has come for me to go back to work, I am just waiting for the right the job and I am being choosey. When I was in Vancouver last week, I applied for 3 jobs off of CL and I had an interview. The job market in Vancouver more penetrable than here. I never took the job nor was offered but it never hurts to have interview experience.
Bottom line is I need this boy on a schedule so I can have my life in more order. If anyone has any advice/assvice pertaining to this or how long it takes to put a strong willed two-year-old on a schedule please enlighten me.
For me the most frustrating thing about Aaron is the fighting sleep and the no eating. I went to our doctor two weeks ago to discuss Aaron’s eating habits and I was told that I needed to take him off of formula pronto. I give it to him because he’s eats so poorly. My doctor said that toddlers are smart and they will hold out for that bottle. I haven’t cut the bottle (formula) out completely as I don’t do things cold turkey with Aaron. He still gets a bottle before bed. I am doing my best to get him on a schedule. I’ve resisted it for so long being a stay at home mom to a non school age child allows for me to be flexible with our days. I realize that this isn’t in Aaron’s the best interest and am trying to rectify this.
Today I attempted to feed him breakfast of cheerios, fruit juice and a peach, at 8am. He barely ate anything. On the way to play group he had some grapes, and some bread. He didn’t have a snack there as he grazed. I tried to feed him lunch at 12-1230 of rice pilaf with mixed veggies something he eats as well as yogurt. Both went untouched. I had to force the first bite of yogurt on him as I often do have to force him to taste something then he realizes “Hey I like this.” And then he’ll eat it on his own. Today he got so pissed off at me when I did this and made a horrible exaggerated gagging noise that my ears have never had the displeasure of that noise befalling them. I don’t know what his problem the yogurt was sweet enough for his palate.
I don’t force him to eat, I am not that parent. When he is older I will not force him to eat his dinner before he is allowed to leave the table. If he isn’t hungry he doesn’t have to eat, but I will expect him to sit at the table until he rest of the family is done and he won’t be allowed to eat anything else until he eats what he was served for supper.
So I am trying to put him on a schedule… it isn’t easy at the moment he is fighting his nap. He was lying on the floor before lunch with his blanket and soother which he does when he is tired. I wanted him to eat first and he didn’t. I am beginning to wonder if I should’ve put him top bed then, but that doesn’t help him getting on a schedule. I know he wants a bottle, but I am trying to get away from this.
He goes to bed at 9pm. I know this is way too late, and we are trying to whittle it down. Sometimes when he is lying on the ground at 7-730 so we start his bedtime routine, and his bath perks him up. And then by the time we put him to bed he fight sleep for an hour or two. By the time he is asleep I am exhausted and don’t get to do what I intended to. In the last week I have wanted to complete a unit in my biology and apply for a job that requires more effort than hitting submit of an email with my cover letter and resume attached. I’ve done neither.
Said job looks as though is were tailor made for me, and I want it. I think the time has come for me to go back to work, I am just waiting for the right the job and I am being choosey. When I was in Vancouver last week, I applied for 3 jobs off of CL and I had an interview. The job market in Vancouver more penetrable than here. I never took the job nor was offered but it never hurts to have interview experience.
Bottom line is I need this boy on a schedule so I can have my life in more order. If anyone has any advice/assvice pertaining to this or how long it takes to put a strong willed two-year-old on a schedule please enlighten me.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Disturbing
I was wathcing the national new this morning with Eric and this story came on.It's about man (I can't bring myself to call him a father) who left his 2 year old and 4 month babies in the car while he drank at a beer garden. Not only did he leave them in the car, but he left the windows up in sweltering heat. This was in Abbotsford, 45 min east of Vancouver and it can get hot in the summer and we've been in the middle of a heat wave. Who does this? When I saw rhe video of the police officer counselling the 4 month old baby I almost started to cry. Their diapers were soiled, the were dehydrated and distressed. Who does this? The man was arrested and the kids were taken into custody of of MCFD. The only way he was found out was because a women overheard him say to his drinking buddies that he was going to check on his kids. WHO DOES THIS? This man has no business being a father. It's unclear where the mother was. She was out too but not with the father as it seems. I was over in Vancouver last week and was sitting at around 30 C. It was in the late 20's. 25 C is 77 F. Again who does this? I feel bad enough just putting Aaron in the hot car and tf it's really hot I usally run the A/C for a few minutes. Some people shouldn't be parents
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Teehting and Tantrums
Nap time can't come soon enough! Holy Hannah! I thought we had a breakthrough last night with the tantrums. New attitude, comforting more, no middle of the night freak outs... Aaron is certain;y making up for it this morning. He is fighting sleep. I know he is tired and teething. Not fun but where is the fine line between teething and a tantrum? I don't know. He has been given Tylenol and teething gel. I have given him Camilia. I am at my wits end with this kid. I hate doing the CIO. I don't let him go long. I don't want him to learn that him screaming at the top of his lungs gets him his way. I know he is a little young for that, but I controlled my dad as child he always gave into me and I don't want my son to be like that. I used to have such bad tantrums as a toddler I used to pull out my hair in clumps. I kid you not. That isn't normal and the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree when it comes to Aaron.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Aaron
My baby is still sick. I called Healthlink and talked to a nurse. The boy's fever was up to 38.9 Celsius. I gave him his second lukewarm bath this evening at the urging of my dad who is visiting for the weekend. I have this nagging feeling that we should take him to the hospital but there is no need at the moment. He's breastfeeding, he's not dehydrated, he isn't lethargic, nor has his fever stayed above 39.5 C for more than 4 hrs. He has been sleeping a lot pretty much all day but that's what people do when they're sick. He's been medicated yet he still has the fever which I know is the body's natural way to fight off infection... but still the nagging feeling. I am a worrier by nature but I take parenting in stride surprisingly. I'd drive myself nuts if I worried about Aaron all the time. But I can't shake this feeling...
Mothering 101
My boy is sick. Anything that has to do with me gets put on the back burner.
It started yesterday in the car. He fell asleep in his car seat and pukes all over himself waking himself up. We pulled over and cleaned him up. He puked again while I was applying for a job, and Eric cleaned him up he was now down to nothing but a diaper. We dropped Eric back off at work, he pukes 2 minutes out from home. Home, bath, nap, strip car seat cover off(I love love love my car seat!!! The cover snaps off so easily!), wash car seat cover and pukey clothes.
Aaron threw up a few more times last night and finally held down some soy formula (as per the Dr.'s instructions) and some breast milk. At 1am he drank nothing but me and then puked it up all over me. It's been a long time since he puke on me. (I never thought I'd be using receiving blankets for him again; was I ever wrong.) He's been sleeping lots and he got the shits this morning poor baby. He has a little fever but is playing alternating with being miserable. He is breast feeding and drinking a few sips of fluids now and then. No puking since 1am. Fingers crossed. He ate 2 or 3 pieces of bananas for lunch and that's about it. I hope he feels better soon. Lots of cuddles going on here from mommy, daddy and grandpa. All of his bedding had to be washed today along with his *crib bumpers, mattress and crib. The water proof pad didn't do it job as it doesn't go to the very edge of his bed and he he likes to sleep in the corners. He has had bath and his hair still smells like vomit and baby shampoo. It's an interesting combo.
*We didn't start using crib bumpers until Aaron was about 10 months I never intended to use them but he would wake himself up constantly by bumping his head into the bars and after a few nights of this we broke them out. Problem solved.
It started yesterday in the car. He fell asleep in his car seat and pukes all over himself waking himself up. We pulled over and cleaned him up. He puked again while I was applying for a job, and Eric cleaned him up he was now down to nothing but a diaper. We dropped Eric back off at work, he pukes 2 minutes out from home. Home, bath, nap, strip car seat cover off(I love love love my car seat!!! The cover snaps off so easily!), wash car seat cover and pukey clothes.
Aaron threw up a few more times last night and finally held down some soy formula (as per the Dr.'s instructions) and some breast milk. At 1am he drank nothing but me and then puked it up all over me. It's been a long time since he puke on me. (I never thought I'd be using receiving blankets for him again; was I ever wrong.) He's been sleeping lots and he got the shits this morning poor baby. He has a little fever but is playing alternating with being miserable. He is breast feeding and drinking a few sips of fluids now and then. No puking since 1am. Fingers crossed. He ate 2 or 3 pieces of bananas for lunch and that's about it. I hope he feels better soon. Lots of cuddles going on here from mommy, daddy and grandpa. All of his bedding had to be washed today along with his *crib bumpers, mattress and crib. The water proof pad didn't do it job as it doesn't go to the very edge of his bed and he he likes to sleep in the corners. He has had bath and his hair still smells like vomit and baby shampoo. It's an interesting combo.
*We didn't start using crib bumpers until Aaron was about 10 months I never intended to use them but he would wake himself up constantly by bumping his head into the bars and after a few nights of this we broke them out. Problem solved.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Calling all Mom's.
It's gone it's gone it's GONE! - Aaron's ear infection that is. The poor guy had an ear infection for a month! He was on 3 different types of anti-biotics. He's got an appointment with and ENT in a few weeks. He may need tubes in his ears. Although I', not crazy about this, it may need to be done. I am going to look into a more holistic approach before I let anyone put tubes in his ears. One mom at a playgroup we went to suggested that I dry his ear out with a hair dryer after his baths... I can see that going over well with him! He has a fear of dryers. Maybe if I out it on low and make a game of it it can work. Any advice out there for the ear infections???
In other news Eric has been gone for the last week. He won't be back for another 2 weeks. It has been just Aaron and I and I kinda like it. I miss Eric, but we get to do more as we have the car. Hence the playgroup we've been to 2X in the last week. It's only a few blocks away and I know that i can walk but 9am is early for me if Aaron had a rough night. I still catch a nap when he does sometimes. Yesterday was long. I was up at 6am as I had a test to write for a job so I had to have Aaron up at 6:30 and drop him off at my friends. He did well and didn't cry once. being up so early sure makes me see my day in a different light. By 4:30 I was done.
Aaron was/is rather cranky today... I think he is cutting a tooth. He is also so close to walking... it's only a matter of when. Well I think that I am going to catch a snooze while he's down even though I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and put away and a bathroom to clean... it can wait.
In other news Eric has been gone for the last week. He won't be back for another 2 weeks. It has been just Aaron and I and I kinda like it. I miss Eric, but we get to do more as we have the car. Hence the playgroup we've been to 2X in the last week. It's only a few blocks away and I know that i can walk but 9am is early for me if Aaron had a rough night. I still catch a nap when he does sometimes. Yesterday was long. I was up at 6am as I had a test to write for a job so I had to have Aaron up at 6:30 and drop him off at my friends. He did well and didn't cry once. being up so early sure makes me see my day in a different light. By 4:30 I was done.
Aaron was/is rather cranky today... I think he is cutting a tooth. He is also so close to walking... it's only a matter of when. Well I think that I am going to catch a snooze while he's down even though I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and put away and a bathroom to clean... it can wait.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Something new
Aaron has learned something new. No he isn't walking yet - that will be In the weeks to come. He has learned how to bite, not only has he learned how to bite but he likes to bite me. How does one handle this? He has bit me before while nursing but I don't think it was intentional. He has also come up to me while I am preparing stuff at the counter and bit my leg, and I yelped out in pain and he cried because i scared him and he fell to his bum. Today he bit my arms twice while I was holding him. Both times I said "Ouch" loudly as if I was in pain (it did hurt) and said "Don't bite it hurts mommy." Both times his little lips puckered up and he cried. Oh the tears! I think I scared him when I say ouch/ow which I am trying to teach him that it hurts me so he doesn't do it. He tried to do it a third time, and I said "Don't bite mommy" and he stopped.
I am not sure if this behavior is intentional or not. He likes to chew on things as he is teething but my arm isn't an appropriate object to gnaw on. He is starting to test Eric and I when we say no. He'll look at us, and the object that he isn't suppose to touch then go for it. I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, but I don't believe it is good to ignore the bad behavior. It needs to be addressed 100% of the time... My way of dealing with it now is to pick him up and take away from said object over and over and try to distract him. Lights have been a fascination of his for as long as I can remember. Now to get him to stop going for the lamps...
I am not sure if this behavior is intentional or not. He likes to chew on things as he is teething but my arm isn't an appropriate object to gnaw on. He is starting to test Eric and I when we say no. He'll look at us, and the object that he isn't suppose to touch then go for it. I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement, but I don't believe it is good to ignore the bad behavior. It needs to be addressed 100% of the time... My way of dealing with it now is to pick him up and take away from said object over and over and try to distract him. Lights have been a fascination of his for as long as I can remember. Now to get him to stop going for the lamps...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Don't Judge Me
This was originally going to be a post about my weekend in a nutshell. But this changed after I read Helen's post over at Every Day Stranger.
My weekend was busy but I feel like I accomplished a lot. I had a friend come visit me from the mainland and I got to the gym twice. All while I managed to mother, cook dinner, go see a movie with my friend (We saw Revolutionary Road, I don't recommend it), go out for appies, getting home at 1am and getting up multiple times with Aaron.
So yesterday Aaron had his first ever Happy Meal at McDonald's. *GASP* Call Social Services I am the worst mother in the world. This isn't his usual fare. At the moment he is picky as hell and teething and doesn't have much of an appetite. I had to drive my friend to the ferry and Eric hadn't fed him lunch before putting him down for a nap. And it was lunch time. I didn't think he would make it back home for lunch so I racked my brain as to what I could feed him that he would you know actually eat. Grilled cheese sandwiches are a hit and so are fries. Therefore I made the executive mommy decision to feed my 11.5-month-old son McDonald's. And it meant I also got to pick at his fries because my small fry can't eat a whole small fries to himself. Thus satisfying my craving for McDonald's French fries and not having to order some myself. (Which doesn't bode well with he whole weight loss thing/healthy eating thing.) So we sat at McDonald's and I ripped up his grilled cheese and fries into bite size pieces and we sat there for a good hour while he fed himself. I also got myself a strawberry sundae and shared it with him. *Oh my*
Aaron didn't eat more probably more than half of his Happy Meal but he ate. I also got him apple juice for his drink. For the most part Aaron eats healthy food. Right now feeding time has become a bit of a challenge. He likes to feed himself and rarely will let us spoon feed him. So bite size pieces it is. Its frustrating meal times it takes forever it seems. But it is just one aspect of parenthood I just have to chug on through. My son is an independent lad and I don't want to crush this in him. He likes to do things his himself. I let him spoon feed himself stuff that will stick to the spoon. It is so cute to watch him put the spoon in his mouth upside down and sort of suck the contents off and he will proceed to the chew on it. As a parent I need to pick my battles meal time isn't one I want to battle. I wish it was simple. In my mind it's a simple concept. If your hungry, your eat. This isn't so with a baby/toddler. I don't want my son to resent meal time and not look forward to it. So we praise him lots. I don’t' want meal time to be a game either and have a 3 year old that needs to have meal time be "fun" all the time. I think we'll get meal time down with a positive attitude and patience.
For the most part of Aaron eats healthy nutritious meals. A grilled cheese sandwich in our house is served on whole grain bread with cheddar cheese. Being that he is teething and picky it’s challenging as to what to feed him. He likes cheese, toast and bananas. Some days that’s all he will eat. He also likes yogurt seemingly of any variety. It can be flavored or plain, sweet or tart. He likes my yogurt but I typically eat fat free yogurts which he shouldn’t be having. I give him full fat yogurts as he needs the fat for his development. Today to trick into eating I made him “mommy’s” yogurt. I mixed in some frozen berries with his plain yogurt which was sour as hell, but it was pink like mine and in the same bowel, so he ate it. He does get natural sugar in fruits and fruit juice which he doesn’t get much of. I am not a sugar Nazi but I don’t feed him crap like Fruitopia and Kool-Aid ( I am sure one day I will.) Sugar is a treat. When I bake I let him like the icing off of the beater and he doest like this. Doest he ever protest when you take his precious beater away from him.
Back to battles, one battle that I am picking is diaper changing time. He hates it. As soon as I lay him on the change table he freaks out. He doesn't do this with Eric; only me. I try singing to him, or blowing raspberries on his tummy but that can't go on for the whole change. It's so bad that I have to pin him down or strap him onto the change pad. This is frustrating. When you have a child they control your life in one sense or another forever. The trick is to not let them know this.
I think part of parenting it to repeat what your parents did as that's what you grew up with and what was emulated to you. My dad let me walk all over him and let me get away with murder. My mom ruled with an iron fist and was too harsh on us. I don't want to be either. I don't want to be a push over or have Aaron fear me. I don't want him thinking he is going to get the spanking of his life if he screws up. That’s how my mother raised us. Thank God my dad raised me from the time I was six-years-old. I just wish he had laid the law down more. It's balancing act. I want my son to respect me and listen to me. I don't want him to be the kid in the grocery store freaking out at the check out because I say no to the candy bar. But I don't know how to do this and this scares me. All I know is my parents. Sometimes I feel like the world’s biggest softie with Aaron, then the biggest meanie the next. I'll figure it out, I just don't know how.
Well this is a wrap my busy weekend has left me tired and with a clogged milk duct.
My weekend was busy but I feel like I accomplished a lot. I had a friend come visit me from the mainland and I got to the gym twice. All while I managed to mother, cook dinner, go see a movie with my friend (We saw Revolutionary Road, I don't recommend it), go out for appies, getting home at 1am and getting up multiple times with Aaron.
So yesterday Aaron had his first ever Happy Meal at McDonald's. *GASP* Call Social Services I am the worst mother in the world. This isn't his usual fare. At the moment he is picky as hell and teething and doesn't have much of an appetite. I had to drive my friend to the ferry and Eric hadn't fed him lunch before putting him down for a nap. And it was lunch time. I didn't think he would make it back home for lunch so I racked my brain as to what I could feed him that he would you know actually eat. Grilled cheese sandwiches are a hit and so are fries. Therefore I made the executive mommy decision to feed my 11.5-month-old son McDonald's. And it meant I also got to pick at his fries because my small fry can't eat a whole small fries to himself. Thus satisfying my craving for McDonald's French fries and not having to order some myself. (Which doesn't bode well with he whole weight loss thing/healthy eating thing.) So we sat at McDonald's and I ripped up his grilled cheese and fries into bite size pieces and we sat there for a good hour while he fed himself. I also got myself a strawberry sundae and shared it with him. *Oh my*
Aaron didn't eat more probably more than half of his Happy Meal but he ate. I also got him apple juice for his drink. For the most part Aaron eats healthy food. Right now feeding time has become a bit of a challenge. He likes to feed himself and rarely will let us spoon feed him. So bite size pieces it is. Its frustrating meal times it takes forever it seems. But it is just one aspect of parenthood I just have to chug on through. My son is an independent lad and I don't want to crush this in him. He likes to do things his himself. I let him spoon feed himself stuff that will stick to the spoon. It is so cute to watch him put the spoon in his mouth upside down and sort of suck the contents off and he will proceed to the chew on it. As a parent I need to pick my battles meal time isn't one I want to battle. I wish it was simple. In my mind it's a simple concept. If your hungry, your eat. This isn't so with a baby/toddler. I don't want my son to resent meal time and not look forward to it. So we praise him lots. I don’t' want meal time to be a game either and have a 3 year old that needs to have meal time be "fun" all the time. I think we'll get meal time down with a positive attitude and patience.
For the most part of Aaron eats healthy nutritious meals. A grilled cheese sandwich in our house is served on whole grain bread with cheddar cheese. Being that he is teething and picky it’s challenging as to what to feed him. He likes cheese, toast and bananas. Some days that’s all he will eat. He also likes yogurt seemingly of any variety. It can be flavored or plain, sweet or tart. He likes my yogurt but I typically eat fat free yogurts which he shouldn’t be having. I give him full fat yogurts as he needs the fat for his development. Today to trick into eating I made him “mommy’s” yogurt. I mixed in some frozen berries with his plain yogurt which was sour as hell, but it was pink like mine and in the same bowel, so he ate it. He does get natural sugar in fruits and fruit juice which he doesn’t get much of. I am not a sugar Nazi but I don’t feed him crap like Fruitopia and Kool-Aid ( I am sure one day I will.) Sugar is a treat. When I bake I let him like the icing off of the beater and he doest like this. Doest he ever protest when you take his precious beater away from him.
Back to battles, one battle that I am picking is diaper changing time. He hates it. As soon as I lay him on the change table he freaks out. He doesn't do this with Eric; only me. I try singing to him, or blowing raspberries on his tummy but that can't go on for the whole change. It's so bad that I have to pin him down or strap him onto the change pad. This is frustrating. When you have a child they control your life in one sense or another forever. The trick is to not let them know this.
I think part of parenting it to repeat what your parents did as that's what you grew up with and what was emulated to you. My dad let me walk all over him and let me get away with murder. My mom ruled with an iron fist and was too harsh on us. I don't want to be either. I don't want to be a push over or have Aaron fear me. I don't want him thinking he is going to get the spanking of his life if he screws up. That’s how my mother raised us. Thank God my dad raised me from the time I was six-years-old. I just wish he had laid the law down more. It's balancing act. I want my son to respect me and listen to me. I don't want him to be the kid in the grocery store freaking out at the check out because I say no to the candy bar. But I don't know how to do this and this scares me. All I know is my parents. Sometimes I feel like the world’s biggest softie with Aaron, then the biggest meanie the next. I'll figure it out, I just don't know how.
Well this is a wrap my busy weekend has left me tired and with a clogged milk duct.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Today is Sunday...
...and I feel anxious. I don't know what exactly lead to this, but Eric, Aaron and I were grocery shopping and I started to feel hot and light headed out of no where. I have officially been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder while I was under the care of a shrink for my PPD. I am not surprised, I have always been a worrier. I am pretty sure I inherited this from my grandma along with her looks. I am very much like her. Even down to my love for rum and cokes and any type of dip. The cheesier the better.
I was a talking to a friend who suffers from depression and anxiety on a greater scale than myself and she suggested I get anti-anxiety medicine. It happens so rarely that I feel like this that I don't think that it is necessary. I am human after all. I might chalk it up to Aaron having fits (read tantrums) when he doesn't get his way and getting dressed always involves screaming, twisting, turning and fighting. Diaper changers aren't much better. And the fact that I went to bed at 11:30pm last night was up 2-3 times with Aaron and up for the day with him at 6:30am. (Eric let me sleep in yesterday, today was his day.) The sleeping in until 9am thing was short lived. I am planning on going to bed shortly after writing this post.
After we got home from shopping I had lunch and relaxed a little and went out again with Aaron to Costco and Super Store. The entire freezer section of Costco was blocked off. WTF? I went there for 3 things: frozen berries, diaper wipes and cheerios. Needless to say I didn't get berries. I did get them at Super Store. I am a smoothie junkie will be even more so after purchasing my protein powder after some more research.
I am regretting my decision to not go to Vegas. I know I need it and deserve it. But I don't know if Aaron in ready to be left. Eric and I decided to start feeding him adult food more so than baby food as he is very keen on feeding himself. We did this with dinner tonight he had carrots, potato's and a little pork. He ate most of it. I spoon fed him mashed potatoes off of my plate as he always wants what we have. I don't know how to break it to him that isn't quite ready for lettuce yet. He needs a few more teeth 2 just won't cut it. No pun intended. I cute up half a pear for dessert and he ate most of it out of my hand. I looked into what to feed a 1 year old. (My baby is 11 months today!!!!)And I will use it as a guideline. I will not feed him more than 2 cups of homo milk a day as a 1-year-old doesn't need more than 2 cups of milk as it has the right amount of calcium. I am still breast feeding him. I don't want to wean him completely but scale back the daily feedings. Feeding Aaron has become more positive. We praise him when he feeds himself and doesn't fight us when we spoon feed him. If I say "Yay" in a certain tone he knows to clap his hands. It's so cute.
I think it is time to say good bye. Sleep is in my forecast.
I was a talking to a friend who suffers from depression and anxiety on a greater scale than myself and she suggested I get anti-anxiety medicine. It happens so rarely that I feel like this that I don't think that it is necessary. I am human after all. I might chalk it up to Aaron having fits (read tantrums) when he doesn't get his way and getting dressed always involves screaming, twisting, turning and fighting. Diaper changers aren't much better. And the fact that I went to bed at 11:30pm last night was up 2-3 times with Aaron and up for the day with him at 6:30am. (Eric let me sleep in yesterday, today was his day.) The sleeping in until 9am thing was short lived. I am planning on going to bed shortly after writing this post.
After we got home from shopping I had lunch and relaxed a little and went out again with Aaron to Costco and Super Store. The entire freezer section of Costco was blocked off. WTF? I went there for 3 things: frozen berries, diaper wipes and cheerios. Needless to say I didn't get berries. I did get them at Super Store. I am a smoothie junkie will be even more so after purchasing my protein powder after some more research.
I am regretting my decision to not go to Vegas. I know I need it and deserve it. But I don't know if Aaron in ready to be left. Eric and I decided to start feeding him adult food more so than baby food as he is very keen on feeding himself. We did this with dinner tonight he had carrots, potato's and a little pork. He ate most of it. I spoon fed him mashed potatoes off of my plate as he always wants what we have. I don't know how to break it to him that isn't quite ready for lettuce yet. He needs a few more teeth 2 just won't cut it. No pun intended. I cute up half a pear for dessert and he ate most of it out of my hand. I looked into what to feed a 1 year old. (My baby is 11 months today!!!!)And I will use it as a guideline. I will not feed him more than 2 cups of homo milk a day as a 1-year-old doesn't need more than 2 cups of milk as it has the right amount of calcium. I am still breast feeding him. I don't want to wean him completely but scale back the daily feedings. Feeding Aaron has become more positive. We praise him when he feeds himself and doesn't fight us when we spoon feed him. If I say "Yay" in a certain tone he knows to clap his hands. It's so cute.
I think it is time to say good bye. Sleep is in my forecast.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Frustrated...
i am very frustrated at the moment for various reasons. The mian reason is Aaron and his eating habits. Feeding him has become daunting and cumbersome and not a task that I look forward to. It is almost impossible for Eric and I to get him to eat unless we a) make a game out of it; b) give him something to play with/distract him; or c) give him finger food while we shovel food in his mouth when it's open. This has been going on for the last month or so. I don't want to make everything a game I am not that kind of parent. I know he is only 10.5 almos 11 months but I want him to kow that meal time is for eating not dicking around. He always seems distracted when we feed him. If there is nothing on his tray he is looking over the tray, on the floor, at the cat or anything but food. I am at my wits end and I am frustrated and I think he senses this. Tonight I got 2 or 3 bites in his mouth and when there was nothing to disctract him he started to cry and I didn't get him anything to play with. So I picked him up and put himin his crib as mommy needs a time out.
I am just getting over a GI flu/sinus cold. He has slept liek shit the last few nights and I am tired. Being sleep deprived makes me cranky. He'll do well for a few nights or a week then all of sudden he'll regress. WTF? I dont' speak baby. I see no signs of any other theeth coming in, he isn't sick as far as I can tell. I am at my wits end at the moment. I am going to try to feed him again. It's cereal with yogort he likes this. I don't always want to give him sweet stuff or that's all he will eat. Ugh.
Note: There is no Monday Measurements today. I didn't get to the gym while I was away and I have been sick which means no working out. My weight has been the same for the last week. Good enough for me.
PS - if any seasoned parents out there have any advice for the feeding please enlighten me.
I am just getting over a GI flu/sinus cold. He has slept liek shit the last few nights and I am tired. Being sleep deprived makes me cranky. He'll do well for a few nights or a week then all of sudden he'll regress. WTF? I dont' speak baby. I see no signs of any other theeth coming in, he isn't sick as far as I can tell. I am at my wits end at the moment. I am going to try to feed him again. It's cereal with yogort he likes this. I don't always want to give him sweet stuff or that's all he will eat. Ugh.
Note: There is no Monday Measurements today. I didn't get to the gym while I was away and I have been sick which means no working out. My weight has been the same for the last week. Good enough for me.
PS - if any seasoned parents out there have any advice for the feeding please enlighten me.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Afghanistan?
What comes to your mind when you hear this word? To me it's the possibility of losing a loved one. Every time I hear that another Canadian soldier has been killed on the news I cringe. Eric may volunteer to go for 6 months. Now Eric is in the navy and you might be wondering why someone in the Navy would be going to a land war? Because the Canadian Forces(Army, Navy and Air Force) are one unit with 3 divisions. Eric has been in for almost a decade and has yet to have a deployment at sea for more than 2 months despite his tenure and he wants to serve his country. As he is in the Navy the jobs which can volunteer for over there are limited. There hasn't been one Canadian Sailor killed over there as he would probably never leave the base (Khadahar airfield)but there are always firts and that's what scares me. He called me today to ask me how I felt about him volunteering and I just said ask me when you get home. We've talked about it before and I am supportive of his career but right now I don't know how I feel about being at home with a 1 year old for 6 months solo. I am ready for him to go back to sea should he be posted as he wold most likely not be gone more than a few weeks at a time. But 6 months? My goodness.. Thousands of wives do it everyday with more kids than me so I am sure I can. It would fly by and I would survive.
Monday, January 26, 2009
On my mind
I feel guilty. I'm feeling this way for many reasons today. The main reason is that I yelled at my son. I was trying to give him medicine in a syringe and he was fighting it and fussing. I yelled at him to take his medicine and he proceeded to cry harder. I'm was frustrated with him. I have been very irritable lately. There are only 2 situations that make me feel like this. PMS and pregnancy. I haven't gotten my period back yet as I'm still breastfeeding and on a progesterone only birth control pill Micronor and from what I know progesterone can stop your periods or lighten them up a lot. I'm just waiting to get my period back. I have no way to measure if I 'm pregnant from missed period. I took a pregnancy test a few weeks back and it was negative. I have been feel like this for 2-3 weeks. I don't think that I am pregnant as I haven't missed nay pills near the time of relations and I'm not insanely tired as I was when I was first pregnant with Aaron. So I don't know why the feeling like this.
After Aaron started to cry I placed him in his crib and got a cloth to wipe his face as it was all sticky. The poor little guy was crying so hard. I feel guilty as I write this. I feel like a horrible mother. I was trying to get us out the door to catch the bus to get to a baby talk group. And I just realized that today that wasn't important and we could catch the next bus and I just rocked him nd cuddled him until he calmed down. As we were walking to the bus it drove by as it was early and I decided to not go to the group and to just get a coffee at the plaza. By now Aaron had fallen asleep and I decided to read my book for a bit. (I'm reading Twilight) after this I just decided to go for a walk around my neighbourhood and relax. I'm trying to work out by running/walking/going to the gym when I can. I think running is better. I live minutes away from the ocean which is a perfect for running, walking, biking and roller blading. I have a BOB stroller and it's time to use it. I am calmer now. Aaron is still sleeping. He's been sleeping in his stroller for the last hour and a half. My baby is sick. He is teething and he has a cold. He slept for 7 hours and 15 minutes last night. He hasn't never slept that long EVER! The most he has done was 7 hours when he was int he 2-4 motn range. I don't know if it was because he was sick or because I got 4 oz of formula in him before he went to bed last night. I'm trying to wean him a bit. I just almost want to cry and tell him I'm sorry over and over again. And rock him and never let him go. My baby needs me. I'm a SAHM and I think that is best for him. I am intending to go back to work part-time in the beginning of March. Ideally I would like to get a job waitress at the local pub a few nights a week so I can be with him as much as possible. I don't want him to go to day car 8-10 hours a day while he is this young. I could be back to work an do the 9-5 thing. But I want to bewith my boy. Part of me thinks that maybe I do need to go back to work so I have time to myself to do my thing. I suck at the housewife thing. I am not organized and I hate to clean. Well I should take this opportunity to study while Aaron sleeps. I have a midterm on Saturday and i will only get out of it what I put in.
After Aaron started to cry I placed him in his crib and got a cloth to wipe his face as it was all sticky. The poor little guy was crying so hard. I feel guilty as I write this. I feel like a horrible mother. I was trying to get us out the door to catch the bus to get to a baby talk group. And I just realized that today that wasn't important and we could catch the next bus and I just rocked him nd cuddled him until he calmed down. As we were walking to the bus it drove by as it was early and I decided to not go to the group and to just get a coffee at the plaza. By now Aaron had fallen asleep and I decided to read my book for a bit. (I'm reading Twilight) after this I just decided to go for a walk around my neighbourhood and relax. I'm trying to work out by running/walking/going to the gym when I can. I think running is better. I live minutes away from the ocean which is a perfect for running, walking, biking and roller blading. I have a BOB stroller and it's time to use it. I am calmer now. Aaron is still sleeping. He's been sleeping in his stroller for the last hour and a half. My baby is sick. He is teething and he has a cold. He slept for 7 hours and 15 minutes last night. He hasn't never slept that long EVER! The most he has done was 7 hours when he was int he 2-4 motn range. I don't know if it was because he was sick or because I got 4 oz of formula in him before he went to bed last night. I'm trying to wean him a bit. I just almost want to cry and tell him I'm sorry over and over again. And rock him and never let him go. My baby needs me. I'm a SAHM and I think that is best for him. I am intending to go back to work part-time in the beginning of March. Ideally I would like to get a job waitress at the local pub a few nights a week so I can be with him as much as possible. I don't want him to go to day car 8-10 hours a day while he is this young. I could be back to work an do the 9-5 thing. But I want to bewith my boy. Part of me thinks that maybe I do need to go back to work so I have time to myself to do my thing. I suck at the housewife thing. I am not organized and I hate to clean. Well I should take this opportunity to study while Aaron sleeps. I have a midterm on Saturday and i will only get out of it what I put in.
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