Saturday, January 29, 2011

I Meddled and It Feels Good!

I am smiling from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat since I woke up this morning The only way to describe my feeling of euphoria is that giddiness one experiences in the beginning of a new relationship.

I guess I should back up a bit. I had a good friend Krista come out and visit me for a week and I had an acquaintance Eric’s I wanted to introduce her to. She’s been through a lot in the last year and is in a place emotionally where she has expressed an interest in dating and I immediately thought of Chris.

Knowing them both to be shy people, I thought they would click but I had a dilemma.
Being that Eric was out of town, I had no way to get the two to meet. Chris and Eric don’t hang out one on one and since Eric was out of town I was at a loss as to how to introduce the two.

I mentioned my idea to Eric and Chris’s mutual friend Derek and he thought it was a good idea but we still didn’t know how to execute our plan. We both agreed that nobody likes to be set up so I had we had to go about it in a way that neither would suspect they were being set up.

I was thinking we could just happen to run into Derek and Chris while we were out but Derek knew Chris would smell a set up. So he suggested we get a group of people together and hit up a pub.

A time and place was set. All we had to do was get everyone who needed to be there, there.

Easier said than done. Chris so happened to have an obligation earlier in the evening a Krista was starting to feel run down as she caught Aaron’s cold (My baby had a 39.5 Celsius fever this week at one point.) and wanted to go home early. I convinced her to stay and even gave up my room so she could have an uninterrupted night of sleep so she’d be ready to go on Friday night.

Friday rolled around. And we made it to said pub. I saw some old friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and even brought along another friend. Everyone was drinking and talking and having a good time. Eventually Chris should up and everyone who needed to be there was.

Krista and Chris where not sitting anywhere near each other so things weren’t going where I had hoped. Here enters some musical chairs and they ended up sitting next to each other and I guess they eventually struck up a conversation. I was lost in my own conversation and the next thing I know Chris had his arm around Krista and he’s telling me he’ll be picking her up in the morning and taking her for coffee and driving her to the ferry! I never expected that! He said he wanted to get to know her when they were both sober.

Very admirable of him. There was more drinking and dancing and a good time was had by all.

I was quite pleased with myself. And he showed up to pick her up this morning. Things were a little awkward at first but I think hey got on well. She texted me to say they had a good time. I don’t know what will come of it if anything… both being so shy I assume both will be too shy to contact the other. But a seed has been planted.

Actually two seeds were. My other friend and a guy who happened to be out with us hit it off.

Just call me The Meddler.

Friday, January 21, 2011

When He is Away

*This is not a paid add by Drano. I just reference it a lot.*

I should be doing the dishes right now. I had actually planned on doing them after Aaron went to bed. I loathe doing dishes. But I can’t. So I am blogging. Eric is away for work and I wanted to get ahead of myself and keep the house in some sort of order instead of letting it fall into a its usual state if chaos when Eric is a way.

I planned on doing the larger dishes, but alas I can’t. I don’t why this shit always goes down when Eric is away usually on the first day too. My freaking kitchen sink is clogged. It isn’t anything I haven’t dealt with before and I am all pro. I was just about the get the Drano but the damn sink wasn’t draining.

(I am used to unclogging the kitchen sink as Eric is in the habit or rinsing dishes containing high fat content without running hot water or rinsing dishes that should be scrapped into the garbage. I think this house keeps Drano and Liquid Plumber in business.)

So instead of busting out the Drano I busted out a metal coat hanger. While trying to unclog the sink 3 or 4 little straws floated up to the surface. (The ones for Aaron’s Rubbermaid drink containers) I thought I’d found the culprit. But the drain is still clogged. My hope is that it will drain over night and I can administer a shot of Drano in the a.m.

Our house is falling apart. In our entire time in the condo we didn’t own a plunger. (We didn’t need to.) My shower knob is stripped so I can’t pull the lever out to have a shower unless I use pliers which will most likely become a permanent fixture in our bathroom until our land lady sends someone to look at it. This just happened yesterday and I’ve yet to call her. NOTE TO SELF: CALL LAND LADY FIRST THING IN THE A.M.

I don’t know why it is, but the random shit happens around the house whenever Eric is gone. The first time Eric sailed Aaron’s crib bar became detached as soon as he had left and I had a tired crying toddler to deal with. There was no going back to sleep once that was dealt with.

Or the time the toilet was clogged I had to hire a plumber to auger the toilet as I hadn’t augered it vigorously enough. I paid him $80 to the same thing I did. An auger has a permanent spot in out bathroom closet behind the kitty litter.

Or the time I came home from Vancouver and my fridge had become unplugged for a few weeks.

Yup. This shit always happens when Eric is away. Why I don’t know. Maybe it’s something or someone telling me I can handle the things life throws at me. The joys of being a military wife. I am quite handy around the house when I have to be. Eric deals with the technical and handy stuff around when he is here. But if he isn’t I don’t mind rolling up my sleeves. Being raised my dad who is the most technically illiterate person I’ve ever met in my life was good training for being a military wife.

Just the other day, I was at his house and his PC wasn’t working. He started to freak out and I take a look, and all that had happened was the cable from his monitor to his tower had become unplugged. He is too lazy to do basic troubleshooting before assuming the worse.

A post of ramblings this is really.

An update on the old clog. The sink has drained and I’ve administered Drano. I think this is a job for Drano Max Gel. I’ve got only regular Drano. Hopefully I’ll be able to wash some dishes soon.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How to Teach a Drunk Girl to Pee

It's not often that I am inspired by a post to post myself. But I was today thanks to Maundering Mutterer by this post.

Back in my drinking days when I was at the rip old age of 19 or 20. I can't remember I had a partner in crime, Jen. Jen and I were attached at the hip and did almost everything together. She even hung around my place sometimes when I went to work. A sleepover could easily turn into a weekover. She was my drinking buddy and I saved her butt many times when she was drunk. I love her. But one thing she isn't is a graceful drunk. She can't hold her liquor very well either.

Our usual routine for the better part of a year was to go to the same local watering hole time and again week after week. In retrospect I don't know what the appeal was. We drank with the same people, at the same place, danced to the same songs and woke up with the same hangovers.

Many a times in the nicer weather we'd walk a few km. (5.5 km to be exact) back to my place. One of the things that would happened on our drunken walks home was copious amounts of bladder relieving.

One time I remember Jen bellowing out to me as she was squatting behind a KFC. "I can't pee! I always pee on myself." Drunk as I was I remember thinking "How the hell does she manage to do that? "

Being the problem solver that I was I had to think of solution for Jen.

And it came to me!

Crab walking.

Having to pee myself, I mossied on up to her, yanked down my pants and squatted. I took it one step further and placed my hands next to me on the ground and crabbed walked forward my legs forward so my butt was behind my feet and showed her how it was done. Don't worry about peeing on your hands as your butt should be far enough away from your hands to be in the clear.

This is how I taught a drunk girl to pee.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

He Shows Signs

WTF does that mean? Aaron had part one of his autism assessment this morning (Last week). We met with a developmental pediatrician. We went through his history, my pregnancy, concerns we had and he had a brief physical exam. This is part one of three.

I asked the pediatrician if he thinks Aaron has autism and he said that he has symptoms on the spectrum. After our first appointment we are still no closer to having a diagnosis or answers. I asked the doctor what we need to be doing as parents and HOW we should parent Aaron and he didn't have answer. The only answer I got was that we will need to learn to see the world through Aaron's eyes. That I can do but how??

I left the appointment angry. I am not angry with Aaron or myself. But the whole fucking process. WHAT doI need to be doing for my son?? I want to know the HOW and the WHAT! We won't have answers until we see the child psychologist and speech therapist the second week of February. I wish that someone could point in a direction. I wish there was a book I could have recommended to me to read about Autism or high functioning autism. On how to parent kids on the spectrum. I hate this and I feel like my hands are tied until I get a diagnosis.

Aaron's daycare has been more informative on this whole process having seeing kids go through this before. I wish there was a parent support group I could go to. I just feel like I have no clue what I am doing and I am failing Aaron as a mom.

He's gaining daily and weekly in his speech, but a lot of it is parroting. So I still don't know what to think. Last night, I took him to McDonald's (Yes we do go there now and then. The play places are free!) With a friend so the boys could play in the play place and he kept saying his friend's name which he hadn't done before. He plays with his friends which is encouraging. He interacts, he socializes. One thing that autism is based on. Socialization. I could go on forever about my thoughts and feelings. But it would be moot.

I am still sick and writing that test while sick didn't bode well for me and I am no longer in the running for that government job.

Monday, January 3, 2011

No Recap

I am not going to do a 2010 recap or Christmas post for that matter. I neglect my blog A LOT. I know I am a terrible blogger.

I feel like ass. I am sure I am a cold/flu is coming on and I have pretty bad case of candida. I am achy. I popped my Advil Cold & Sinus and even that didn't perk me up. I think I belong in bed with some Canesten.

There is much that I want to blog about. But not getting sicker and preparing for the first appointment of three for Aaron's Autism assessment this week is high on my list of priorities. As is applying for work. And preparing for an aptitude test for a coveted job competition with the provincial government.

I must be brushing up on my long division and vocabulary.

I haven't really made any New Years Resoltions unless you count not going into 2011 or anything for that matter with expectations. As my expectations haven't been met recently, so if I have none, I can't get let down. It's how I went into NYE  and it worked well for me. So far, so good. But we are only 3 days in.

I wish you all a happy 2011.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Once a Mom, Always a Mom.

My New Years Eve wasn't what I thought it would be. Having secured a baby sitter a month in advance, I had plans. I had BIG plans. I haven't been thoroughly drunk on New Years in years. It's been so long, I can't remember. This year was to be the YEAR! I had a baby sitter! Not just any sitter, but a FREE baby sitter. And a trusted sitter. My aunt. What more could a mom want? A safe baby sitter for a child so she could go and have a care free night.

Once I had secured my aunt to baby sit, I immediately wanted to figure out a plan and decide who I'd be spending it with. One thing was certain, I wanted to spend it with Tara. I called her and she readily agreed to spend NYE with me. We didn't have a specific plan per se. We knew it would involve alcohol and a care free night.

As New Years approached we still didn't have a game plane. Nobody wanted to commit to anything. We couldn't rally other people together. I like house parties, but all my Vancouver friends are scattered and I don't hang out with one specific group. Before Christmas, Tara and I decided that we wanted to go to a ticketed event downtown Vancouver of some sort. We still didn't have a venue. Throughout all this time we both maintained that we didn't want TM (he boyfriend? IDK WTF he is to her) to be part of our plans.

A few days before NYE we decided we wanted to go to a pub. Which one didn't matter. She left it up to me. I picked one a random. When I was trying to buy a ticket online, is where we ran into problems. I had called the pub and the been advised where to buy tickets online. Said task proved to be more difficult than I thought. I searched by date, venue, event, NYE, I googled and  I couldn't get a link. So I said F*** it. We'll go else where.

So I made a back up plan. Throughout this, Tara and I were texting and/or talking on the phone. I got a text at 10:30pm on Tuesday night that TM wanted to join us.

The ball had just dropped. I can't stand the guy. Nor could I stand to spend an evening with him. It just wasn't happening. Having already had an emotional day, I told Tara that I would talk to her about it in the morning and that wasn't up to discussing it.

In the course of a night, I made a decision. I wasn't going to put Tara in a position to choose between a friend and her boyfriend. I accepted an invitation to another friend's place. I felt good about the decision. It would be a quiet girls night in with food, drinks, games and movies. After a Christmas and family that failed to live up to my expectations, I wanted to go into NYE having none.

I told Tara this the next morning. I assured her I wasn't mad at her. But that I wasn't up to dealing with TM and his bull crap.

I had my plans and they were set.

But then TM went an pulled a TM. He got tickets to an event without asking Tara. And event that she didn't want to attend, that he knew she wouldn't want to so he went and bought them tickets because he wanted to go.

She asked me to spend NYE with her. She said she'd take care of pre-drinks at her place and she'd pay for the cab to and from. A house party even came up that we had hope to would come up.

I still said no. She was more than welcome to come to my friend's place and have a girls night in. It was an option.

She thought about it, but as to not ruffle TM's feathers she cowed to him.

I went about my plans. I went to my friend's place for a girls night in. My friend Hailey, has a 5 YO daughter Amber. She would be spending it with us. She also invited two of  Amber's friends 2 adorable twin boys to keep her entertained. Cole and Jayden.

The plans were to eat food, watch movies, play games and have girl time.

I ate. I watched movies. And I danced. I drank a wee bit.

I built forts. I got snacks. I got drinks. I supervised movies. I got pillows and blankets.

My NYE was divided between girl time and kid time.

It was apparent from my arrival that Hailey had no activities set up for the kids. I had suggested that we make sundaes or smoothies but she blew them off. I am not THAT MOM. The one who always has an activity lined up for her kid or the day planned out all the time. The mom's I envy. The mom's I feel we born for motherhood. Whose livelihood all day long is her child(ren).

But, I am a mom.

When Aaron takes my hand and wants to show me something, I stop and I take the time. I want him to know that he is loved and that I WANT to spend time with him and nothing is more important than him. (Well maybe making sure the house doesn't burn down when cooking. And that I won't be at his every beck and call, as it's called manners and interrupting and all that)

I am a mom who knows her child need activities and want to feel valued. It was apparent from the time I got to Hailey's that she doesn't value her daughter. That she seemed like a nuisance It was apparent in the way she spoke to her and treated her. When we were downstairs watching movie or dancing all crazy Amber just wanted to join. She wanted to belong, to be one of the grown ups. I remember that when I was a little girl.

She kept saying to her "Amber, go UPSTAIRS!"

It broke my heart. And those little boys Cole and Jayden were two well behaved perfect little angels. And they don't have a mom in their life. Only their dad. I spent a lot of time playing with them, fetching them stuff, and making sure all was well. I told them if they needed anything to let me know and I'd get it. I said I'd help them make another Wii character as there were 2 girls and only  1 boy. And no boy wants to play a girl. So I did. I was a mom.

I knew they grew tired what they were playing with so I made them a fort. When they were hungry, I got them a snack. When they looked like they were ready to go to sleep, I got them blankets and pillows.

I didn't mind. IMO the kids were up way too late and should have been in bed by 10pm, not 1pm. But I am not their mom. Hailey said they could stay up till midnight. So when it was getting close I had them get their coats on and I gather up pots and pans for them to bang. It was a fun night.

The night wasn't what I thought it would be, but it was good night.

I mothered and I got smiles. When I left this morning, I got some smiles out of the boys. I wanted to make them breakfast, but I didn't have time as I had to be back at my dad's, to be with Aaron. If I had had the time, I would've.

One thing that is apparent, and I have always maintained. Some of my old friends, that I have been friends with for years, I don't think we'd be friends as we just don't seem to have things in common. Like parenting.