Monday, March 16, 2009

Don't Judge Me

This was originally going to be a post about my weekend in a nutshell. But this changed after I read Helen's post over at Every Day Stranger.

My weekend was busy but I feel like I accomplished a lot. I had a friend come visit me from the mainland and I got to the gym twice. All while I managed to mother, cook dinner, go see a movie with my friend (We saw Revolutionary Road, I don't recommend it), go out for appies, getting home at 1am and getting up multiple times with Aaron.

So yesterday Aaron had his first ever Happy Meal at McDonald's. *GASP* Call Social Services I am the worst mother in the world. This isn't his usual fare. At the moment he is picky as hell and teething and doesn't have much of an appetite. I had to drive my friend to the ferry and Eric hadn't fed him lunch before putting him down for a nap. And it was lunch time. I didn't think he would make it back home for lunch so I racked my brain as to what I could feed him that he would you know actually eat. Grilled cheese sandwiches are a hit and so are fries. Therefore I made the executive mommy decision to feed my 11.5-month-old son McDonald's. And it meant I also got to pick at his fries because my small fry can't eat a whole small fries to himself. Thus satisfying my craving for McDonald's French fries and not having to order some myself. (Which doesn't bode well with he whole weight loss thing/healthy eating thing.) So we sat at McDonald's and I ripped up his grilled cheese and fries into bite size pieces and we sat there for a good hour while he fed himself. I also got myself a strawberry sundae and shared it with him. *Oh my*

Aaron didn't eat more probably more than half of his Happy Meal but he ate. I also got him apple juice for his drink. For the most part Aaron eats healthy food. Right now feeding time has become a bit of a challenge. He likes to feed himself and rarely will let us spoon feed him. So bite size pieces it is. Its frustrating meal times it takes forever it seems. But it is just one aspect of parenthood I just have to chug on through. My son is an independent lad and I don't want to crush this in him. He likes to do things his himself. I let him spoon feed himself stuff that will stick to the spoon. It is so cute to watch him put the spoon in his mouth upside down and sort of suck the contents off and he will proceed to the chew on it. As a parent I need to pick my battles meal time isn't one I want to battle. I wish it was simple. In my mind it's a simple concept. If your hungry, your eat. This isn't so with a baby/toddler. I don't want my son to resent meal time and not look forward to it. So we praise him lots. I don’t' want meal time to be a game either and have a 3 year old that needs to have meal time be "fun" all the time. I think we'll get meal time down with a positive attitude and patience.

For the most part of Aaron eats healthy nutritious meals. A grilled cheese sandwich in our house is served on whole grain bread with cheddar cheese. Being that he is teething and picky it’s challenging as to what to feed him. He likes cheese, toast and bananas. Some days that’s all he will eat. He also likes yogurt seemingly of any variety. It can be flavored or plain, sweet or tart. He likes my yogurt but I typically eat fat free yogurts which he shouldn’t be having. I give him full fat yogurts as he needs the fat for his development. Today to trick into eating I made him “mommy’s” yogurt. I mixed in some frozen berries with his plain yogurt which was sour as hell, but it was pink like mine and in the same bowel, so he ate it. He does get natural sugar in fruits and fruit juice which he doesn’t get much of. I am not a sugar Nazi but I don’t feed him crap like Fruitopia and Kool-Aid ( I am sure one day I will.) Sugar is a treat. When I bake I let him like the icing off of the beater and he doest like this. Doest he ever protest when you take his precious beater away from him.

Back to battles, one battle that I am picking is diaper changing time. He hates it. As soon as I lay him on the change table he freaks out. He doesn't do this with Eric; only me. I try singing to him, or blowing raspberries on his tummy but that can't go on for the whole change. It's so bad that I have to pin him down or strap him onto the change pad. This is frustrating. When you have a child they control your life in one sense or another forever. The trick is to not let them know this.

I think part of parenting it to repeat what your parents did as that's what you grew up with and what was emulated to you. My dad let me walk all over him and let me get away with murder. My mom ruled with an iron fist and was too harsh on us. I don't want to be either. I don't want to be a push over or have Aaron fear me. I don't want him thinking he is going to get the spanking of his life if he screws up. That’s how my mother raised us. Thank God my dad raised me from the time I was six-years-old. I just wish he had laid the law down more. It's balancing act. I want my son to respect me and listen to me. I don't want him to be the kid in the grocery store freaking out at the check out because I say no to the candy bar. But I don't know how to do this and this scares me. All I know is my parents. Sometimes I feel like the world’s biggest softie with Aaron, then the biggest meanie the next. I'll figure it out, I just don't know how.

Well this is a wrap my busy weekend has left me tired and with a clogged milk duct.


smallmoments said...

I think you will make it through. You know what you don't want to be and that is good. Personally I think the best thing you can do is be consistent with whatever you choose. I did this with the preteens I taught. It took some time but after a month or so they knew exactly what to expect from me. I was consistent. I know that tons of "experts" say that children need boundaries and rules and consistency. It sounds cliche. But I have seen it work. It worked for me with one of the hardest aged groups of kids. Where those boundaries lie and what the rules are depends on what you want. I might be really strict about something you think is no big deal and vice versa. That's okay. You have to do what works for you and your life.

You will make it. Your son knows that he is loved and that is important! :)

Siera said...

Thanks for the encouragement. I try to be consistent with the "discipline" I use this term loosely as you can't really discipline an 11 month old. I try to let him know what behavior is accepted and what is not by my tone of voice. If I say “no” sternly he usually cries. I am not sure if it is because he is being told no, not getting his way or if he is scared. For the most part he is a happy boy, unless you take something away that he isn't suppose to have.

Helen said...

Oh my GOD - you fed your son McDonald's? Do you have any idea the stuff they put in that? I'm calling social services. At least Aaron will have the company of my two, who as you know also chomped down on a Happy Meal this weekend.

I think it sounds like you're doing a very good job in considering his needs and what's best for him. And I'm so glad you wrote that Aaron battles you on the nappy changing - Nick does too, and I hadn't written about it because I didn't know anyone else going through it and felt sure someone was going to tell me I was doing something wrong. So thank you.

Siera said...

I have a strong willed little guy. I know it's normal. My friend's son does or did the same thing. He'd scream so loud you'd think you were murdering him. My niece was the same way at the same age. Maybe it's the change table? I don't know. But if I change him on the floor he twists and turns and crawls away.