It's Friday night and I find myself blogging. As per usual for me. So we've had a busy week. I need to find a job ASAP. We've decided on a day care for Aaron. I want the spot, even if it means going back to being a grocery store cashier in the interim. As a family of three on one income, we can afford it, but things would definitely be tight.
I've always maintained whatever I end up doing for work, I need to make at least double what day care costs to justify it. Of all the day cares I've viewed and interviewed in the last 2 years, this is by far my favourite and meets my expectations which are high. Surprisingly, it isn't the most expensive either.
The day care we viewed on Wednesday gave me a bad feeling from the start. We were early for our appointment, I found the staff to be rude, and nobody bothered to introduced themselves while we waited for the lady who was giving us the tour. I've walked up to day cares without an appointment to get warm greetings from staff and a tour. Aaron wanted to leave right away and went straight for the door. He ended up having a tantrum of all tantrums and Eric had to take him out so I could finish the tour on my own. I may have had some preconceived notions based on some feedback I had gotten, but I really tried to go in with an open mind. I just got a bad feeling all around. The toys were put away and brought out throughout the day, and I really didn't care for that. The space was huge, but isn't the size that counts. It's how they use it. Even for day cares.
The one we've decided on all Aaron wanted to do was play with toys and we had a hard time prying him away. I have no reservations about Happy Land daycare or the staff. (I so just made this name up on the spot.)
We want Aaron in day care as we feel it will benefit him where we can't. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around my son being in daycare full time. I wish I could work part-time but finding a part time day care spot and job is next to impossible. If I end up working part-time, I'll keep him home on my days off. I never thought I'd be a stay-at-home-mom for so long, it just worked out this way. A recession doesn't bode well for one in a smaller city. The timing couldn't have been worse for a recession, but such is life.
I really hope that I get this job I interviewed for. It's a good company that pays well (I think). The job its self could be wearing, if I let it. I don't know what to call the position interviewed for. I guess escalation help desk would be the correct term. I wish I had gotten the email address for the lady that interviewed me so that I could send her a follow up letter. Stupid, stupid.
I wonder how all this with play into being an egg donor. As Mike and Liz are switching clinics to the one here of course their is a wait for a their consult. Which has bumped things back further, but from my dealings and Liz's dealing she gets a better feeling from the clinic here.
If/when I am employed I don't know what to tell my future employer. I figure I'll just I have say day surgery, which egg retrieval is. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of my personal life. I though of saying I am doing an IVF cycle but then they will think I am trying to conceive and may terminate me before my three month probation. Then if I say I am a donor, I'll get lots of questions or weird looks. I am open about what I am doing to friends and people I know well, but I don't think it's an appropriate course of discussion with a new employer. I plan on saying that I was bumped on the wait list and spot became available. It's plausible. But all the appointments leading up the retrieval is what scares me, I don't want to appear to be a slacker so new into a job. GAH. I guess there is no point in worry about it now.
I am tired so I think I best be getting to bed. I am sure Aaron will be up coughing at some point, and I'll be a worried mama and up. I hope his cold goes away soon.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Good News I think.
I wanted to give a quick up on the job interview. It was a typical behavioural interview with two interviewers alternating asking questions and note taking. I've had done dozen of these interviews and I didn't sweat it.
I don't know where I stand, but I feel that it went well. I am not getting my hopes up, as I've done that with jobs I coveted only to be crushed.
We've decided on Aaron's daycare we both like it, and we couldn't pry him away from the toys. He cried when it was time to leave. A good sign. I'll touch more on this later. But I didn't get much sleep last night and Grey's Anatomy is on. I have my priorities.
I don't know where I stand, but I feel that it went well. I am not getting my hopes up, as I've done that with jobs I coveted only to be crushed.
We've decided on Aaron's daycare we both like it, and we couldn't pry him away from the toys. He cried when it was time to leave. A good sign. I'll touch more on this later. But I didn't get much sleep last night and Grey's Anatomy is on. I have my priorities.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
A Quickie
I have a Halloween post in the works with lots of pictures for your viewing pleasure but blogger or my PC are being jerks and will not let me upload any pics after this first one. I don't have time to tinker with it and the pics are uploaded to the desk top not the lap top.
So the last 48 hours have been... ??? Maybe glimpse into my future. I've had two job opportunities come up. One I might have an in though a friend, the other I never expected to get a call for in my life lacking the education requirements, I applied for the hell of it and hoped my stellar cover letter delivered the goods. Which apparently it did!
Now I have to sell sell sell myself tomorrow. I didn't even have 24 hours notice for this job interview! I took the time, called a friend to see if she could watch Aaron and am going in on a hope and a prayer.
I've also have had two day cares spots become available. One we viewed today I did not care for. The other, it's good, I've viewed it when Aaron wad 13 months old but decided not to go back to work. I had him on this list since I was pregnant. SO I know it's good and holds itself to a high reputation and has excellent staff.
I was freaking out as to what to where, and the fact that my acrylic nails are half chewed off or broken look so bad. (I normally do not get acrylic but got them for my reunion.) So I got my outfit together complete with a quick trip to the mall for a new pair of black stiletto heals suitable for the office and black shrug to wear with my dress. Oh man I hope they like me and I give the right answers. Now to de nail myself.
So the last 48 hours have been... ??? Maybe glimpse into my future. I've had two job opportunities come up. One I might have an in though a friend, the other I never expected to get a call for in my life lacking the education requirements, I applied for the hell of it and hoped my stellar cover letter delivered the goods. Which apparently it did!
Now I have to sell sell sell myself tomorrow. I didn't even have 24 hours notice for this job interview! I took the time, called a friend to see if she could watch Aaron and am going in on a hope and a prayer.
I've also have had two day cares spots become available. One we viewed today I did not care for. The other, it's good, I've viewed it when Aaron wad 13 months old but decided not to go back to work. I had him on this list since I was pregnant. SO I know it's good and holds itself to a high reputation and has excellent staff.
I was freaking out as to what to where, and the fact that my acrylic nails are half chewed off or broken look so bad. (I normally do not get acrylic but got them for my reunion.) So I got my outfit together complete with a quick trip to the mall for a new pair of black stiletto heals suitable for the office and black shrug to wear with my dress. Oh man I hope they like me and I give the right answers. Now to de nail myself.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday Nights
I don't know what it is about Friday nights, but Friday night seems to be my night to blog. Aaron is in bed, Eric is at buddy's place and it's just me and the cat.
This week has been interesting mix of laughter, tears and frustration on every ones part. We all had/have had colds, we're adjusting to life as a family of 3 instead of 2 and Aaron picked this week to cut his top set of two-year molars.
The frustration stems mainly from Aaron's lack of ability to express himself which comes out in a series of cries, whines and "Uh." Eric isn't aware of Aaron's cues and if we try to help in the slightest bit accomplish a task unless he asks for our help a meltdown will occur.
Aaron spent the majority of the day with me and when it's just us one on one he does much better. It's a transition having Eric home. Aaron is a little confused as we moved his car seat from my car to Eric's back to mine. He never seems sure which car he should be going in. We're running both cars for a couple of weeks and will take the insurance off of mine at the end of it's month and just use Eric's as the family car as we normally do. He has the sedan, I have the coupe.
It's funny how that is. When Eric first got to Victoria, he went car shopping. He had a car in mind and budget. He found what he wanted, fell in love and said "I'll take it!" before he made it around the block on his test drive. I am sure the salesman remembers that as the easiest sale in his career. They didn't have a 2-doors in stock so he took the 4-door. When I moved in with him in 2003 I was a little embarrassed to drive this fancy 4-door family car. It turns out, the lack of the dealership having a 2 door in stock served us well 5 years later.
When I bought my car in 2004 when I moved home as we broke up for 6 months in 2004, I car shopped for weeks or months seeking out a good deal. I didn't go for anything big or fancy, but I bought new so I'd have a warranty and not have to deal with any major repairs. Not needing anything fancy, I went with a coupe figuring I had years before I started a family. Ha! I wish the damn Blazer I'd been eyeing hadn't sold. I just finished paying off my coupe. I'll be damned if I am getting stuck with another car payment.
Both our cars have relatively low mileage and our in good condition so we intend to keep them, but we usually only one run car. I am fine taking the bus, walking or driving Eric to work if we need the car for the day. I've toyed with selling my car and buying something for equal value, but am not one hundred percent sure I am ready to part with the first car I bought myself.
So back to Aaron, he seems to be doing better now that his car seat is in my car for the time being. I wish there was a way to make the transition of Eric being home easier on Aaron, but I really don't know how to do that. On Eric's next big deployment he will be older and will hopefully understand what is going on. The next one 6-7 months long. I don't know how the hell we'll survive that.
------
I never did update anybody on the MIL front. I've successfully managed to avoid her and have minimal interaction with her since July. I realize this is unhealthy, but the woman makes my blood boil. I did write her a 25 page letter in a draft form (wrote not typed, I have large writing and used a spiral note book 1/3 smaller than most) but I never sent it or followed it up.
She did apologize to me in an email. I can accept that, but she never said what she was apologizing for and I am sick of her passive aggressive treatment of me over the years and just don't want to waste any more energy on her. I sent one 3 line email back to her in response to an email about Aaron and never responded after that.
------
Eric and I went downtown today and happened upon a breast cancer awareness campaign.
This week has been interesting mix of laughter, tears and frustration on every ones part. We all had/have had colds, we're adjusting to life as a family of 3 instead of 2 and Aaron picked this week to cut his top set of two-year molars.
The frustration stems mainly from Aaron's lack of ability to express himself which comes out in a series of cries, whines and "Uh." Eric isn't aware of Aaron's cues and if we try to help in the slightest bit accomplish a task unless he asks for our help a meltdown will occur.
Aaron spent the majority of the day with me and when it's just us one on one he does much better. It's a transition having Eric home. Aaron is a little confused as we moved his car seat from my car to Eric's back to mine. He never seems sure which car he should be going in. We're running both cars for a couple of weeks and will take the insurance off of mine at the end of it's month and just use Eric's as the family car as we normally do. He has the sedan, I have the coupe.
It's funny how that is. When Eric first got to Victoria, he went car shopping. He had a car in mind and budget. He found what he wanted, fell in love and said "I'll take it!" before he made it around the block on his test drive. I am sure the salesman remembers that as the easiest sale in his career. They didn't have a 2-doors in stock so he took the 4-door. When I moved in with him in 2003 I was a little embarrassed to drive this fancy 4-door family car. It turns out, the lack of the dealership having a 2 door in stock served us well 5 years later.
When I bought my car in 2004 when I moved home as we broke up for 6 months in 2004, I car shopped for weeks or months seeking out a good deal. I didn't go for anything big or fancy, but I bought new so I'd have a warranty and not have to deal with any major repairs. Not needing anything fancy, I went with a coupe figuring I had years before I started a family. Ha! I wish the damn Blazer I'd been eyeing hadn't sold. I just finished paying off my coupe. I'll be damned if I am getting stuck with another car payment.
Both our cars have relatively low mileage and our in good condition so we intend to keep them, but we usually only one run car. I am fine taking the bus, walking or driving Eric to work if we need the car for the day. I've toyed with selling my car and buying something for equal value, but am not one hundred percent sure I am ready to part with the first car I bought myself.
So back to Aaron, he seems to be doing better now that his car seat is in my car for the time being. I wish there was a way to make the transition of Eric being home easier on Aaron, but I really don't know how to do that. On Eric's next big deployment he will be older and will hopefully understand what is going on. The next one 6-7 months long. I don't know how the hell we'll survive that.
------
I never did update anybody on the MIL front. I've successfully managed to avoid her and have minimal interaction with her since July. I realize this is unhealthy, but the woman makes my blood boil. I did write her a 25 page letter in a draft form (wrote not typed, I have large writing and used a spiral note book 1/3 smaller than most) but I never sent it or followed it up.
She did apologize to me in an email. I can accept that, but she never said what she was apologizing for and I am sick of her passive aggressive treatment of me over the years and just don't want to waste any more energy on her. I sent one 3 line email back to her in response to an email about Aaron and never responded after that.
------
Eric and I went downtown today and happened upon a breast cancer awareness campaign.
I am all for cancer fund raising, and awareness, but I fail to see how draping and stringing bras like streamers helps find a cure. I think the time and energy put into this would be better spent asking for donations or walking or running for the cure. It brings awareness, but what do people do once they are aware?
I'd rather donate $10 or $50 the cost of a bra to the BC Cancer Agency then donate a bra. I have no idea what they plan to do with these bras once the day is over?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
On Aaron and Things...
I feel the need to blog and feel that I should give some more updates seeing I haven’t been very consistent on the blogging front. As Eric just got home and we have bene having a lot of family time I don’t want my blogging to take away from that.
Aaron is making progress daily in his speech. He’s coming right along which is encouraging. He may not be where he should be for 2.5 years of age, but I am not going to dwell on this. I am celebrating what he can do. He can say “thank-you” in the right context. He just doesn’t use it with me, just other adults he’s familiar with. Whenever someone tells me he says “thank-you” be it a friend or a daycare teacher or Sunday school teacher, my heart swells with pride followed by thought the OMG I must be doing something right as a parent!
Aarons’ primary way to communicate with me and other adults he is familiar with is to point and say in a cave man guttural tone “Uh.” It’s really annoying but that’s his way communicating. I hate it when he does this but it isn’t surprising as I did it as a toddler. Instead of meeting his demands and stop and make him say “please.” Sometimes he will say “say” and I have to repeat “please” but when prompted he will say something other than “uh.”
I also say thank-you in the right context so it’s sinking in. It sounds silly, but repetition is key. His first word was “cat” which was soon lost on and replaced with “hot.” For the longest time all he would say was “hot” to himself at random times. It became his word as I always stressed “hot” whenever he was around the stove. So far he has yet to burn himself. I’ve caught him placing pots on the stove when it’s off and I yelled at him good for that and it scared him.
Last week he figured out how to push the glass up from underneath the table in our kitchen table. He got yelled at good and a time-out for that. He did it again a few hours when I was cooking dinner (our table in our kitchen) and I stopped what I was doing and I gave him on spank on his bum. I realize there will be parents who don’t spank their kids going in an uproar over this, but I felt I needed to make a point over as it’s a dangerous situation. His spanking was followed by a time out and he has since to do it.
I was ready to dismantle the table and put in the basement that night. I called a friend in frenzy and she suggested glass adhesive which I bought the next day. I was prepared to go without a table or to buy a new (used) one until the time passed where he wouldn’t do it. So far we haven’t had to buy one nor use the glass adhesive but I think we will.
I am at the point in my parenthood journey that I can see a light at the end of the toddler tunnel. I realize that this doesn’t sound all rosy and peachy, but I am a freaking pessimist! I had no idea what I signed on for when I decided to become a parent. Neither of us did. And without family support in the same city things can be tough. I am not someone who knows how to or is super good with small children. I do my best. I realize that right now adding to my family isn’t the wisest decision for my family.
Lately, I’ve been having pangs and yearnings of babyhood. I miss breastfeeding. I can’t believe I wrote that, but I really do. I am getting excited for Liz as we go through the journey for her to add to her family. This doesn’t not mean I will for the record try to get pregnant nor would it be a welcome surprised if I were to find myself in that boat. Eric and I are looking forward to the time in the near future when Aaron will listen to us and behave somewhat in public. We long to take a family vacation together.
I don’t think I could be a good mom to a preschooler and a baby seeing how stressed out I was just with one baby. I do see how some things would be easier the second time around but I am not up to it mentally or physically.
While I am off the pill I’ve gotten myself a diaphragm. It’s a very old school method of contraception, but I really don’t mind it so far. I use in conjunction with spermicide and coitus interuptus. (Yes, that is the pull out method.)
As soon as I get my next period and get my FSH day 3 (of my period) blood test I am going back on the pill until we start our cycle because I am most comfortable on the pill for preventing pregnancy. I am glad I have the diaphragm as a back-up considering what I had to go through to get thing as you can no longer get an Rx for one in Canada or at least BC for that matter.
I had to call a pharmacy in the States to see if they would honor an Canadian prescription, get fitted for one by my doctor, have the Rx faxed in and then pick it up 2 days later when the diaphragm came special ordered from the pharmacy’s supplier. It wasn’t a big deal as I frequently cross the border to shop when I am over in Vancouver visiting. But to most people they wouldn’t bother with do to the hassle.
But I am not liked most people, if I want something and it’s attainable, I will find a way to get it or make it happen.
I have no idea how this has gone from a post on Aaron to my method of contraception so I will take this a queue to fetch Aaron from his crib because clearly he isn’t napping today.
Aaron is making progress daily in his speech. He’s coming right along which is encouraging. He may not be where he should be for 2.5 years of age, but I am not going to dwell on this. I am celebrating what he can do. He can say “thank-you” in the right context. He just doesn’t use it with me, just other adults he’s familiar with. Whenever someone tells me he says “thank-you” be it a friend or a daycare teacher or Sunday school teacher, my heart swells with pride followed by thought the OMG I must be doing something right as a parent!
Aarons’ primary way to communicate with me and other adults he is familiar with is to point and say in a cave man guttural tone “Uh.” It’s really annoying but that’s his way communicating. I hate it when he does this but it isn’t surprising as I did it as a toddler. Instead of meeting his demands and stop and make him say “please.” Sometimes he will say “say” and I have to repeat “please” but when prompted he will say something other than “uh.”
I also say thank-you in the right context so it’s sinking in. It sounds silly, but repetition is key. His first word was “cat” which was soon lost on and replaced with “hot.” For the longest time all he would say was “hot” to himself at random times. It became his word as I always stressed “hot” whenever he was around the stove. So far he has yet to burn himself. I’ve caught him placing pots on the stove when it’s off and I yelled at him good for that and it scared him.
Last week he figured out how to push the glass up from underneath the table in our kitchen table. He got yelled at good and a time-out for that. He did it again a few hours when I was cooking dinner (our table in our kitchen) and I stopped what I was doing and I gave him on spank on his bum. I realize there will be parents who don’t spank their kids going in an uproar over this, but I felt I needed to make a point over as it’s a dangerous situation. His spanking was followed by a time out and he has since to do it.
I was ready to dismantle the table and put in the basement that night. I called a friend in frenzy and she suggested glass adhesive which I bought the next day. I was prepared to go without a table or to buy a new (used) one until the time passed where he wouldn’t do it. So far we haven’t had to buy one nor use the glass adhesive but I think we will.
I am at the point in my parenthood journey that I can see a light at the end of the toddler tunnel. I realize that this doesn’t sound all rosy and peachy, but I am a freaking pessimist! I had no idea what I signed on for when I decided to become a parent. Neither of us did. And without family support in the same city things can be tough. I am not someone who knows how to or is super good with small children. I do my best. I realize that right now adding to my family isn’t the wisest decision for my family.
Lately, I’ve been having pangs and yearnings of babyhood. I miss breastfeeding. I can’t believe I wrote that, but I really do. I am getting excited for Liz as we go through the journey for her to add to her family. This doesn’t not mean I will for the record try to get pregnant nor would it be a welcome surprised if I were to find myself in that boat. Eric and I are looking forward to the time in the near future when Aaron will listen to us and behave somewhat in public. We long to take a family vacation together.
I don’t think I could be a good mom to a preschooler and a baby seeing how stressed out I was just with one baby. I do see how some things would be easier the second time around but I am not up to it mentally or physically.
While I am off the pill I’ve gotten myself a diaphragm. It’s a very old school method of contraception, but I really don’t mind it so far. I use in conjunction with spermicide and coitus interuptus. (Yes, that is the pull out method.)
As soon as I get my next period and get my FSH day 3 (of my period) blood test I am going back on the pill until we start our cycle because I am most comfortable on the pill for preventing pregnancy. I am glad I have the diaphragm as a back-up considering what I had to go through to get thing as you can no longer get an Rx for one in Canada or at least BC for that matter.
I had to call a pharmacy in the States to see if they would honor an Canadian prescription, get fitted for one by my doctor, have the Rx faxed in and then pick it up 2 days later when the diaphragm came special ordered from the pharmacy’s supplier. It wasn’t a big deal as I frequently cross the border to shop when I am over in Vancouver visiting. But to most people they wouldn’t bother with do to the hassle.
But I am not liked most people, if I want something and it’s attainable, I will find a way to get it or make it happen.
I have no idea how this has gone from a post on Aaron to my method of contraception so I will take this a queue to fetch Aaron from his crib because clearly he isn’t napping today.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Home
Eric his home. Aaron is talking more and more every day. He has adjusted well to Eric being home much to my surprise. I really wasn't sure how he would react. When his ship pulled up we were waiting there with all the other families, wives and girlfriends with our sign. It was just like you see on the news. The first sailor got to go on the brow and greet his wife then we all got to embark on the ship. When we met on the deck I had Aaron in my arms and I got a hug and kiss from Eric and Aaron went straight for something not safe for toddlers on a ship deck.
I was taken aback that he didn't latch on to Eric and not let him go, but he's always been one for buttons and leavers. We really haven't been apart since Eric got home. Today Eric left for a short while to do some errands and Aaron was sad and was crying a little bit and said "Bye Daddy" as he watched him drive away out the window followed by "Bye Mommy." I explained to him that I wasn't leaving. It's hard to gage his level of comprehension, but Eric has noticed a big difference in his speech since he left. He is progressing daily. I am so happy that he calls us Mommy and Daddy now.
Just yesterday, he said "I do it." When he wanted to spear his on peach with a fork. I am so pleased that he's coming along.
On the donor front of things, Mike and Liz have decided to go for a consult with the clinic here. I am thrilled by this news because the bedside manner of the clinic here is wonderful. Even Liz said with all her dealings of 3 different clinics in Vancouver she gets the best feeling so far from the clinic here. And she is super impressed that the RE there actually emails patients himself. Obviously, this means our cycle will be pushed back, but everything happens for a reason as Liz says. I hope we can get in before Christmas.
We all seem to be a little bit under the weather around here so I am going to bed for a good nights sleep.
I was taken aback that he didn't latch on to Eric and not let him go, but he's always been one for buttons and leavers. We really haven't been apart since Eric got home. Today Eric left for a short while to do some errands and Aaron was sad and was crying a little bit and said "Bye Daddy" as he watched him drive away out the window followed by "Bye Mommy." I explained to him that I wasn't leaving. It's hard to gage his level of comprehension, but Eric has noticed a big difference in his speech since he left. He is progressing daily. I am so happy that he calls us Mommy and Daddy now.
Just yesterday, he said "I do it." When he wanted to spear his on peach with a fork. I am so pleased that he's coming along.
On the donor front of things, Mike and Liz have decided to go for a consult with the clinic here. I am thrilled by this news because the bedside manner of the clinic here is wonderful. Even Liz said with all her dealings of 3 different clinics in Vancouver she gets the best feeling so far from the clinic here. And she is super impressed that the RE there actually emails patients himself. Obviously, this means our cycle will be pushed back, but everything happens for a reason as Liz says. I hope we can get in before Christmas.
We all seem to be a little bit under the weather around here so I am going to bed for a good nights sleep.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
On Counting & Donating
I wanted to touch my counting with Aaron. In no way do I expect it or push him. One day out of desperation I started counting to 10 on my fingers as I was changing his diaper as he fights me so much during diaper changes. When I got to 10 I'd tickle him and count back to one and tickle him again. It's all fun and games to him. Children learn through repetition and he is mimicking my words by saying "eight" and "ten." It also may be due to him having a friend named Aidan. "Eight" and "ten" sound like Aidan. I have no idea if he has the concept of counting, but it makes diaper changing all the more fun.
I went today to get my blood work for Fertility Clinic. Apparently I am to get over 10 viles. WTF? I thought I signed up to be an egg donor, not a blood donor. The girl told me to come back tomorrow as one needed to be done in the morning and their was no way in hell I was getting my blood drawn before dinner. I know how dizzy I'd feel after 10 viles, and their is no way in hell I'd want to deal with Aaron if it was anything like getting my nose pierced. I'll have a friend watch him so I can get my head about me before I get it done. I plan on having a big breakfast tomorrow.
I went today to get my blood work for Fertility Clinic. Apparently I am to get over 10 viles. WTF? I thought I signed up to be an egg donor, not a blood donor. The girl told me to come back tomorrow as one needed to be done in the morning and their was no way in hell I was getting my blood drawn before dinner. I know how dizzy I'd feel after 10 viles, and their is no way in hell I'd want to deal with Aaron if it was anything like getting my nose pierced. I'll have a friend watch him so I can get my head about me before I get it done. I plan on having a big breakfast tomorrow.
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