When Was The Last Time?

The last time you bought a CD? I do. It was 4 years and 2 months ago. Only 2 days ago that is. I only remember because I bought 2 CD's at Wal-Mart in Port Angeles on my way down to Portland to meet up with Eric for Fleet Week. (This weekend will always stand out in my mind as it was the weekend that we decided that I would go off the pill and we would start trying to conceive.)

I bought 2 Cd's on that trip. One I can't remember for the life of me. The other was Trace Adkins Dangerous Man. That CD has lived in my car for the last 4 years. I don't know what it is about him and his music but I just love him. Swing really just puts me in a good mood and gets me upbeat. I love driving down the highway blasting his music.

Two days ago I bought my first CD in 4 years. I bought Trace Adkins Proud to Be Here. Wow. I can relate to the lyrics to most of the songs on this album. I don't know what it is about him but he seems to be on every TV show I randomly throw on or on the radio co-hosting something or another.

I can't really articulate what I want to say about Trace Adkins and what his music really means to me. I've been trying to write this post for 2 days now this is the only time I have had to sit down and write this. I have been busy, busy busy.

My most important role during Eric's deployment being the sole parent is to be there for Aaron and to address his needs/tantrums/OCD as they come and to remain calm. Parenting an autistic child certainly presents it's challenges. Most days are okay, but some days he will just get something in this head and will not let it go. And I need to remain calm as to not add fuel to his fire.

Shortly after Eric left I had to go on Zoloft. I was losing patience with Aaron and it wasn't fare to him. I've had to wean myself off of it as I started to feel tingling my arms and legs on 3 different occasions and I dont' like it.

So that's why I haven't posting much or at all.

So back to Trace Adkins. I loved his show so much I am contemplating going to see him again on September 23rd. This time I will get better seats if I do. I am bummed that I missed out on seeing Blake Shelton. I only found out the day of that he was playing near Seattle and I didn't have the time to make childcare arrangements for Aaron and to make the drive from Metro Vancouver to Seattle. Ugh. I would love to see him. i just love his music too. My favourite song by far is Hill Billy Bone with Trace Adkins. Aaron loves this song and he used to call it the Yee Ha song.

I was able to get that close to Trace to snap this pic. Unfortunately, I was not very familiar with my friend's camera and didn't get a better shot.

Trace Adkins zoomed in from our seats.

A Little of This and a Little of That

Yeah so about that blogging… it aint a happening much. Something had to go when I became the only parent with a full time job in the process. So blogging. Sadly isn’t up there at this time. Eric has been gone a month.
Only 6 months of this deployment left!


Ha! Six months? Will I survive – Yes. Mentally in tact? That remains to be seen. Aaron has had his ups and downs. It breaks my heart when he asks for Eric and I can’t do anything about it. The other day I put him on the phone with my dad and he started to cry “Find Daddy” over and over. I broke my heart.


I am still trying to decide if Eric should come home for 10 days or we should meet him in Europe somewhere? I really don’t know. On the one hand, I’ve never been to Europe on the other I have to fly there with a toddler. One mom told me that her husband isn’t coming home as it just disrupts the kids’ routine and then he leaves and it is another transition. I think that it would be good for Aaron to see Eric and if it were in Europe, no routine would be disrupted.
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So I have been having pangs. Pangs for second child. Not good. I flip flop ALL the time about a second. On one hand I miss the whole baby stage and the breastfeeding and I want Aaron to have a friend for life. On the other I really bad post partum depression and didn’t handle motherhood well and I don’t deal with stress well and I don’t want to take the chance of having another child on the spectrum.


Eric is undecided too. Obviously, nothing will happen on this deployment. But the want is still there. However, that isn’t enough of reason to have one as far as I am concerned. I was told by fertility doctor that if I wanted a second child sooner was better than later. This was found out when I was going to be an egg donor. As I had low FSH and low AFC counts it was decided to not proceed with a cycle.
I’ve also had thoughts of being a surrogate, but haven’t put myself out there as that would be a really big commitment. So I am rambling.


I am off tomorrow for a week! Woot! You know what this means. VANCOUVER. I have to go into work tomorrow to apply for a job posted internally as it will have closed when I return. Then I am Vancouver bound. The highlight of my week will be going to see Trace Adkins on Tuesday. I can’t WAIT! It’s going to be good night. Time to clean up a bit and flip loads.

3 Year Old Wanders From Daycare

How the hell does this happen?

http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20110721/bc_daycare_escape_110721/20110721/?hub=BritishColumbiaHome

I shit you not, I interviewed this daycare and we got bad vibes from it and that was the end of that.
Here is the a quote from the post in case you don't want to click the link.

 The day care we viewed on Wednesday gave me a bad feeling from the start. We were early for our appointment, I found the staff to be rude, and nobody bothered to introduced themselves while we waited for the lady who was giving us the tour. I've walked up to day cares without an appointment to get warm greetings from staff and a tour. Aaron wanted to leave right away and went straight for the door. He ended up having a tantrum of all tantrums and Eric had to take him out so I could finish the tour on my own. I may have had some preconceived notions based on some feedback I had gotten, but I really tried to go in with an open mind. I just got a bad feeling all around. The toys were put away and brought out throughout the day, and I really didn't care for that. The space was huge, but isn't the size that counts. It's how they use it. Even for day cares.

I Gotta Give You Something

I mean to post I do, but life sometimes gets in the way.

- Eric's ship completely bi passed Dora by going around it.

- I love my new dress. I wear it all the time.

- I really dislike my new neighbours noise levels. Living a really old duplex will do that.

- I must curb mys pending so Eric and I can have a decent down payment for a place to call our own where we own our own walls

- I was in Vancouver this past weekend and had blast. The West Coast finally had some weather worthy of being called summer and the girls and I basked in it.

- Something is amiss with Aaron, I just can't pin point it. It started before Eric left so I don't think his departure is the underlying issue. I have had him at the doctor's, emergency and back to the doctors. Based on the way he has been sleeping too much I took him for some blood work. I really hope I am over worrying and it's nothing but a virus or growth spurt

-I'm pretty beat. Need to go to bed soon. It's not even 9pm and I will be asking my neighbours to turn down their music.

I'm old.

Worry Much?

Note to self. Reading the news before bed, not a good idea.

I just read that Tropical Storm Dora is now Hurricane Dora.

Eric's ship is heading  in the general area of said hurricane en route to where they need to go.

How much do I need to be worried?

Did You Know...

That stress is related to cold sores?? I didn't but it all makes sense with Eric's departure this past week. I felt them coming on at the corners of my mouth this week. Usually I pop some Carmex on them and it stops them. Unfortunately, I was out of Carmex and they festered into cold sores. I am lucky they are not
big and unsightly and only I realize that they are there. But they hurt.

Naturally I googled "remedies for cold sores" and happened upon this sight. Some of the suggestions are out there. I have tried rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover to dry the suckers out. I do not recommend this. One of the commenter's went so far as to suggest ear wax as a home remedy. I wonder why someone would to try that...

I am now considering picking up some tea tree oil or witch hazel. TTO is good for just about anything so I might as well get some. I still have tea bags to try. I've read that Abreva doesn't work as well as some home remedies.

If only I had not lost my damn Carmex. And so you know, I use a Q-Tip when apply the rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover. I am not double dipping.

So stress ='s cold sores.

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I miss Eric. I am still adjusting to life without him. What I hate and miss the most is when I do the laundry. When I do just when he leaves his stuff is still in it which makes me miss him. Eventually it is only out stuff unless of course it's his t-shirts which I prefer to sleep in.

I hate this. I don't want to get all weepy here. I've been holding myself together pretty well these past few days.

I best be getting back to my laundry and second glass of wine.

Night all.

Oh and in case your wondering,   I did buy the dress. Pics to follow soon.  mailto:http://fortheluvovblog.blogspot.com/2011/07/to-buy-or-not-to-buy.html

To Buy or Not To Buy?

It has been an emotional week to say the least as Aaron and I as we adjust to life without Eric. Their have been many tears and sleepless nights. At the moment I am okay. That can change in a heartbeat, but at the moment I doing okay.

I paid someone to clean the house as I just couldn't keep up. We didn't worry about cleaning his last weekend here and tried to get in as much quality family time as possible.

I have a baby sitter for tomorrow evening. I am good. For now.

Now on a lighter note.

I have  been eyeing this dress at a downtown boutique. I am not sure if I should buy it or not.

It's on sale at 30% off. It regularly goes for $90. After tax it's $69. That's very pricey for a flimsy piece of fabric.I normally wouldn't shell out so much for a sundress. But. Of course there is but. It fits me well. I can dress it up or down. I can where a an open cardigan and flats and it's good for work. I can wear it with or without tights. It works with flip flops. And I kind of really like it.

This is where you my few readers come in. Should I buy it or not?