Monday, August 16, 2010

10 Weeks

Aaron and I said good-bye to Eric this morning. We got up at 4:30am to drive him to work. He's gone for 10 weeks. In the early days of our relationship I'd cry when he left, it left me aching. This mornings good-bye wasn't a long lingering one like they used to be.

I think Aaron in oblivious to Eric being gone. As he said his last good bye I tried to get Aaron to say "Bye-bye Daddy." Only as we pulled away did he say "Bye Daddy." It nearly broke me. I have no way to ascertain his level of understanding in Eric's absence. I am not one to cry when he leaves for 2-3 weeks as I am used it, the days are short and I have a toddler to look after.

But this time it's different. It's bitter sweet as we have had our ups and downs over the last few months. Part of me wanted the break for space but the other part will miss him like crazy. I've been going back to the early days of our relationship. I not sure when things became so strained between us. Or for how long. Sometime after the birth of Aaron. I miss it when he was my everything and I'd do anything for him. I am not sure if we just became used to each other and started to take each other for granted. But things aren't the same. We didn't even have a lingering kiss good-bye. I tried but maybe he wasn't feeling it. We've both been dreading this trip and looking forward it at the same time.

One thing I keep telling myself is that no matter how bad my life is, someone has it worse. On out way home I saw not one, two, or three BUT FOUR fire trucks buzz on by us. I am not one to watch fires or stare at emergency scenes but I decided to follow them at a safe distance (I didn't have to follow very far) and when they arrived that the fire there was a laze with flames shooting at least 20 feet in the air. It looked like an inferno. At first I couldn't see if was an apartment building on fire or a car but soon it was apparent it was a dumpster. The fire fighters got it under control fast.

After they thought it was out, a small fire erupted. My guess is an arsonist. I can't see a fire raging that high in a dumpster without some sort of accelarant. Stupid fucker. There are businesses and a apartment buildings all around it. Someone could've been hurt. Thankfully nobody was. and the damage was left to the dumpster and shed that contained it.

At least Aaron got to see something he doesn't see every day. I took Aaron out of the car and pointed out all the different emergency vehicles. He was in his hey-day because of all the flashing lights. Aaron is sleeping again, I best be doing the same so I can keep up with him later today.

1 comment:

SciFi Dad said...

I was never gone for 10 weeks, but when I worked in the US for a couple of weeks at two different times in one spring, we learned something: if you (the remaining parent) make a big deal about the working parent being gone, the child will react more strongly than if you don't.

My first trip, they looked at a photo album of just my daughter and I every night, and my wife let her take my photo to bed. They watched movies with me in them, and so on. My daughter had a really hard time with my absence and was quite happy to see me upon my return.

The second trip, my wife only dealt with me when my daughter asked - which was less often - and she (my daughter) handled it much better.