"Don't Leave Me!"

This is what Aaron would scream if he could talk. Going to child minding at my gym hasn't been easy these past few days. The first few times I took him he handled it like a champ. The staff didn't even need to find me until after an hour and I would nurse him and go back to my work out. This is so not the case now.

I took a 2 week break from the gym as I was in Vancouver and then I got sick. When I dropped him off at child minding on Thursday he crawled towards the toys, I left and that was that. 20 minutes later I am being summoned to go back to him as he had been crying the entire time. This is a new cry. It's a scared cry. So I stayed with him and if I was across the room and not there, the crying would start. I am going to take him every day to get him used to it. I ended up taking him home to Daddy. Yesterday it was the same thing. I left for 10 minutes to get a bite to eat and he fussed but quieted down when I came back he heard my voice so I stayed and Eric came and picked him up... Today was much better. His nap was during child minding hours so I got him sleeping in his car seat and dropped him off. He did wake up and observed the other kids playing but fell back asleep. He didn't come out of his car seat once and seemed to do okay. Hopefully Monday will be better to.

We have entered the land of making strange people. This is new. If he meets someone new he literally will freak out even if Eric or I are within arms reach. He totally pushed himself off of one of Eric's friend's today. One who he's been fine with before. I really hope he doesn't start this with my dad. He absolutely loves my dad.

As I have been to the gym 3 times in 48 hours, I feel like I am going to die. I really need to tone. Aaron left me with love handles in addition to stretch marks. I can work away the love handles, not the stretch marks. With all this working out I have been thinking about protein shakes. I don't know if they're any good or if they work at all. But I tried one today and all I can say is me no like. Ick! I am contemplating buying some whey protein powder and making my own as I make a mean smoothie and if there was more smoothie vs. powder than the one I had today then maybe I won't be able to taste it. I did talk to a friend who aid they vanilla flavored kind isn't to bad. I think vanilla would be a great addition to any fruit smoothie... I was going to go El cheapo and buy the Wal-Mart brand but I guess you get what you pay for? I'll look into it. I will not be buying my powder from some speciality vitamin store that jacks up their prices. I will probably get some at Wal-Mart. Well I am tired. I am going to bed. Tomorrow I am am taking it easy and doing an aqaufit class. adios.

PS - I hope to have some measurements for Monday. Not this week but next I have a session with a trainer at the gym so I will have some accurate measurements

I am Begining to Like This...

Aaron has slept in until almost 9am for the last 2 days! Woot! I hope this lasts. Typically babies his age need 12 hours a night and bedtime is between 8-9pm. This doesn't mean he is sleeping through the night, but he is doing well. And it couldn't have happened at a better time because I did something out of the norm for me last night. I went to a friend's and watched a movie. All the way through. I didn't get home until 11:30pm! I haven't dome this since before I had Aaron.

I saw My Best Friend's Girl. Usually I find romantic comedies a bore, especially with Kate Hudson (does she ever do anything besides romantic comedies???)but this one was freakin hilarious. I recommend it.

Shape Wear

For awhile now I have been wanting to buy some shape wear. All of the stuff that I have tried on smooths out mu tummy but leaves a horrific ring of fat pushed up under my boobs which defeats the purpose! I can't wear anything tight over it.

I've come across the best idea any designer has ever come up with regarding shape wear. It is called Yummie Tummie and can be seen here My only concerns are: 1) My measurements have me all.over.the.place; and 2) Do they ship to Canada? They do not have Canada as a shipping option. There are a few stores in Vancouver that sell them which I can go to the next I am over, but I would rather just by it online.

I want to buy this hot little number The question is what size am I? my measurements as accurate as I can get them are: 37 1/2 - 33 - 35.5. I am 5' 2 1/2". According to their chart my bust is 37.5 inches therefore I am a L; waist 33 inches which makes me a 1X one size up from XL. Which I am not! I am 5' 2" and 125 lbs! I am pudgy. I get this hence the shirt. When I was this weight prior to having a baby my skin wasn't all stretched out along my waste. My hips are 35 1/2 inches. Which makes me an XS - S. So according to this chart I'm ans 1X, XS/S and L. WTF? I think I'd just order a medium to be on the safe side. As I am a small/medium. BAH! This is so frustrating. When/if I get one I will post a before and after video or pics. Well I am off. I hope to have one of these soon!

Frustrated...

i am very frustrated at the moment for various reasons. The mian reason is Aaron and his eating habits. Feeding him has become daunting and cumbersome and not a task that I look forward to. It is almost impossible for Eric and I to get him to eat unless we a) make a game out of it; b) give him something to play with/distract him; or c) give him finger food while we shovel food in his mouth when it's open. This has been going on for the last month or so. I don't want to make everything a game I am not that kind of parent. I know he is only 10.5 almos 11 months but I want him to kow that meal time is for eating not dicking around. He always seems distracted when we feed him. If there is nothing on his tray he is looking over the tray, on the floor, at the cat or anything but food. I am at my wits end and I am frustrated and I think he senses this. Tonight I got 2 or 3 bites in his mouth and when there was nothing to disctract him he started to cry and I didn't get him anything to play with. So I picked him up and put himin his crib as mommy needs a time out.

I am just getting over a GI flu/sinus cold. He has slept liek shit the last few nights and I am tired. Being sleep deprived makes me cranky. He'll do well for a few nights or a week then all of sudden he'll regress. WTF? I dont' speak baby. I see no signs of any other theeth coming in, he isn't sick as far as I can tell. I am at my wits end at the moment. I am going to try to feed him again. It's cereal with yogort he likes this. I don't always want to give him sweet stuff or that's all he will eat. Ugh.

Note: There is no Monday Measurements today. I didn't get to the gym while I was away and I have been sick which means no working out. My weight has been the same for the last week. Good enough for me.

PS - if any seasoned parents out there have any advice for the feeding please enlighten me.

Royal Rumble

In my tummy that is. To any readers that I have, I have not abbanoned you. I took Aaron over to my dad's for a few days for some R & R and came down with a wonderful flu. Thank-god my dad had Thursday off as there was no way in hell I could've looked after him. I'd come downstairs and he's cry when he saw me because all he wanted was me; but mommy had a date with the bathroom for most of the day.

I thought I was in the all clear yesterday, but my little problem came back with a vengence this morning. I won't elaborate as I don't want to scare away anyone. Well I am off to bed. Having a miserable teething baby isn't fun when your sick.

Freaky Friday

Yes - it's is Friday the 13Th! Be afraid, be very afraid! As I am about to post a pic of me taken today to document my quest to be fit(ter). I will do this every Monday including my measurements. My goal is to lose 10 lbs and to tone up. I am hesitant to post my weight because it more about how I feel about myself and becoming fitter. I in no way like this picture of myself. I am not sucking it in. I will try to take my picture in the same outfit so you can really see the difference. I am going to Vegas at the end of March and I need to kick myself in the butt to get myself ready for the trip. That's my motivation. And yes I wear a shirt at the gym for you concerned readers.

Hips - 36 "
Waist - 35"
Bust - 38"
Arm - 11 1/2 "

I do not know how accurate these measurements are as I did them myself as there wasn't one staff member around to do this for me... So they may be subject to change.

25 Random - Things Part Deux

Yet again another meme, stolen from Facebook.

1.I have two tattoos. The first I got when I was 16 (almost 17) my dad took me and my best friend at the time. They match but are in different places. I got my second tattoo on a whim when I was 18. I added onto it when I was 23 at a random tattoo parlor a friend and I found off of Sunset or Hollywood Blvd in LA. The artist was a former inmate. Seriously.

2.I love Grey’s Anatomy and I have never felt “that way” about a show before.

3.I am contemplating getting my nose pierce with a tiny diamond stud

4.My chronic sinusitis/rhinitis is stopping me

5.I’ve had my navel pierced, twice.

6.I’d like to go back to school and hope to have a career not just a job

7.I dislike cheesecake.

8.I am thankful that Canada has universal health care

9.I am contemplating signing up for Twitter.

10.I’d be lost without my Chi Flat Iron

11.I love M.A.C. make-up.

12.If I could change one thing about my appearance it would the dark circles under my eyes.

13.I regret getting my hair highlighted right before Aaron was born and I wish I had listened to my gut and jumped out of the chair when I had the chance

14.In the last week I have melted the cord to my George Forman grill thus rendering it a fire hazard and I have melted a pot lid. All on the same stove element. I guess were getting new pots this weekend (we've needed them since I moved in with Eric 2 years ago!)

15.I’d like to dress more stylish but I don’t have the time/money/energy to do so.

16.I’m a “cat” person

17.I love my cat but her demands annoy the crap out me. Sometimes I feel like have two children
instead one

18.I’ve never been a “dog” person but would like to give a whirl to see if that truly is the case. It’s not so much the dog, but the commitment it takes to have a dog and the smell. I’ve thought of fostering dogs from the SPCA to see if dogs grow on me

19.I am on the verge of signing up for a cake decorating course.

20.My son was born on April Fools Day

21.I’d like to have another child… One day

22.I miss working for my old employer (Going back isn't an option as it is in Vancouver.)

23.I have an unhealthy obsession with cell phones (Thanks former employer!)

24.I despise the traffic in Vancouver but if I don’t get my Vancouver (lower mainland) fix in at least once a month I start to get anxious

25. I am good with directions and when I am in a new city I usually get my bearings right away even Los Angeles. Calgary is the exception

Common Sense

Either you've got it or you don't. I like to think that i have it myself. This dawned on me while I was doing re-washing the laundry that Eric had done. When I opened the dryer there was WAY to much in there, when I smelled the load it didn't smell clean. When I looked at the washer the water capacity setting was set to medium and it goes as high as super. Which means that the clothes may have gotten wet but not washed. Hence the re-washing. Eric doesn't treat stains. I don't unless I know it needs it. As I was treating the mud stains on his jeans (that had been washed and dried therefore the stain had set) from golfing the common sense issue came to me. Why do I let him bother with the laundry? It doesn't always have to re-washed but it annoys when things I have to re-done. He knows how to do laundry. Before I moved in with him 2 years ago everything went in one wash and was washed in cold water as the hot water didn't work on his washing machine which never occurred to him to have it fixed. He asks me over and over what temperature of water do you use to wash whites,(hot)darks,(cold) and colors (warm or cold). He knows. Now it occurred to me that with common sense either you have it or you don't. Clearly when you it comes to laundry he doesn't or it can be chalked up to him being a guy and/or lazy.

No one one taught me how to do laundry, cook, clean, do my hair and make-up. I taught/learned myself. Why is this? As I was raised by my dad from the time I was 6. Which brings in the common sense thing. Something my father just doesn't have. He taught me to have a relaxed view on life. If I tried my best in school that was good enough for him. He would pull me out often for trips and day outings which further instilled a relaxed lifestyle in me. In high school I often slept in or was late. Because I was/am lazy. Despite this I have a good work ethic and strong attendance at work. Which brings me back to common sense. If you don't work hard, you don't get a raise or worse you don't get to keep your job. The common sense thing I got. I learned from cause and effect. When I was working at McDonald's in high school, if I did a piss poor job I only got one 4 hour shift a week. If I busted my ass I got 25 hours/week. I learned.

I don't know where this is coming from but I know that if I want a clean house I need to do it myself. I am not a good housewife, I hate to clean. My attitude is it can always be done later. I'd rather sit and play with Aaron/watch TV/surf the web etc. And stuff just doesn't get done. Which I am trying to do. During Aaron's nap I folded and put away laundry, had a shower and wrote this post, which may not seem like a lot to some but for me it's a lot. It's with the weight/toning thing. I want to have a body that I can be proud of to know that if I work for it, it can happen. and it will. I managed to lose 20 lbs 5 years ago which slowly crept back and fluctuated. I have never been over that weight (Pregnancy doesn't count) since losing it. I am under my pregnancy weight and would like to stay that way. I want to tone my flabby arms and gut. Hell I want to tone my whole body. But I have to put inte effort. Which I am hoping to do. I went to the gym yesterday and put Aaron in child minding and he liked it and hardly new I was gone. It was love at first toy.
I have to watch what I eat and work out. Yes I cheat here and there it's just about portion control.when I stop breast feeding is when the real hard part starts. With breast feeding you get a bit of a free ride. Well I am off. I have baby to feed, lunch to make, more laundry to fold, cat food to buy and a jaunt to the walk-in clinic. I bid you good day.

PS - I am contemplating keeping track of my progress at the gym by posting weekly pics and measurements so that I can be accountable to someone. So I ask you dear readrer(s) good idea or bad?

Apology

Dear Reader(s):

It has recently come to my attention that I had comments on some of my posts. I apologize for not acknowledging them sooner. I being me did not realize that I had any. I wasn't receiving email notifications as I just assumed my settings would default to my other blog; making an ass out of you and me, for which I apologize.

Sincerely,

Siera

25 Things

So this meme has been kicking around Facebook for the last little while and I have been tagged by several people so I completed it. Which makes it blog worthy. Instead of tagging 25 friends you can tag as many or as few fellow bloggers as you like.

1. I wish I had napped when Aaron did instead of studying.

2. I regret having my double Americano earlier; yet still feel the need for more caffeine to get me through the day

3. I am taking a Medical Terminology course online (from my experience so far self teaching is not the way to go, I prefer classroom learning)

4. Despite it being online, I am enjoying it.

5. I love to read blogs, but have hard time keeping up with my own.

6. I love being a mother more and more each day.

7. I love my sleep, which doesn't go hand-in-hand with being a mother.

8. I didn't think I would like being a stay-at-home-mom, but I love it and I don't want to go back to doing the 9-5 thing

9. I have a wild side - that is best brought by certain friends

10. Procrastinate should be my middle name

11. I have 4 men in my life that mean the world to me: My dad, Aaron, Eric and my grandpa.

12. I am a pessimist. When I am overly optimistic things usually go wrong

13. I used to hate living in Victoria and am I am beginning to like it. I miss Vancouver less and less and can't believe the amount of violence that has sprung up there especially in the last week.


14. I hope the violence doesn't spread here. I used to want a bridge to Vancouver Island but now realize how it would change Island living. (It would just bring the violence.)

15. I've lived in Halifax

16. I hate my toe nails

17. I love country music; the louder and honkier the better

18. I hate drama

19. I dislike "fake" people

20. I hold a grudge and find it hard to let things go.

21. I can't fall asleep if I have dry lips or dry hands.

22. I am super sensitive to sound

23. I have been baking lately and cooking new things and I am making chow mien for the 1st time tonight (which was a success)

24. I got a membership at the Y last week and have yet to use it and will remedy that tomorrow

25 There are so many more things I could list, but this survey is over.

I am going tag some fellow bloggers that I read in hopes that I will get to know them better...

Steffanie
Helen
Ginger
Swistler
Kristine
Jen (Not sure if It's a double N or not...
Ruth
Amanda

You Know Your A Mother When

-Your son pees on you and you don't even flinch

-Your next door 40-something year-old single mom neighbour in the duplex is having a party with her girlfriends and you can't wait till 11pm so you can go over and ask them to keep it down

Sheesh

Grey's Anatomy Anonymous

I am self proclaimed Grey's Anatomy junkie. Before having Aaron I would eat, breathe sleep with this show. And yes, I defiantly jumped on the McDreamey band wagon. Patrick Dempsey is hot what can I say? I would never miss an episode and in my single days (childless days) it wouldn't be uncommon for me to fall asleep watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD. In season 4 I started to get a little annoyed with the direction the writing took and needless to say the writers strike. Which is still fresh in my mind; as I am sure it is with many people. This forced me to watch reality TV regularly which I do not do! I really am not a fan of reality TV. I do not know the what happened on the latest episode of Survivor, Big Brother, The Bachelor/The Bacherlorette/ Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Dance(Canada) etc. They’re 2 exceptions American Idol and ANTM; which I will watch if I remember to. The only shows I watch are Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice being that it is a spin off of Grey's.

When ABC wrote Isaiah Washington out of Grey's I was none to pleased. I liked his character and his acting. I think it took away from the story line from season 4. I understand why (at least I think I do) ABC wrote him out of the show. I do not not believe that he was let go because he called T.R. Knight a fag (even though he denied it on Larry King I still think he did) but because of the animosity that it created among fellow cast and crew members. I do not know if ABC carea much about the gay and lesbian community or not but if I recall correctly I think they backed T.R. Knight and denounced Isaiah Washington behavior towards T.R. Knight. Which brings to my beef with ABC, they went and replaces Burke’s character with new heart surgeon, Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith). The writers took her character down the gay route and wrote the infamous "I'm Gay" monologue for her and then promptly dismiss Brooke Smith. Seriously WTF? I though she was good replacement for the role, she is a great actor and I think the audience was just getting comfortable with her and then poof she's gone! Why? Because ABC wasn't comfortable with the route that her character was going; if that’s the case why did some executive approve of the script? I don't know the ins and outs of TV writing but I think it's safe to assume that the script has to be approved by someone high up. If you’re not comfortable with that character direction then why the hell would you approve of it??

Being the Smith is now gone I didn't think that the writers would take Sara Ramirez's character down the lesbian route again. I thought it was established that Callie Torres (Ramirez) was bi and that was it. So she burned by Hahn, Hahn is gone. A few episodes later some hot young blue eyes blond pediatric surgeon is introduced and the next thing you know she is kissing Callie at the end of the last episode. Again WTF? Is ABC going to pursue another gay/lesbian story line and not follow through? Or was the whole ABC not being comfortable with the direction that Brooke Smith's character going a cope out and they just wanted to pursue the whole gay thing with someone that is young and beautiful? I think its BS. I liked Smith’s acting not and was disappointed to see her go. I think she had a strong character and she will be missed. Don't get me wrong I like Jessica Capshaw’s portrayal as Callie's new love interest I just would like to see a more realistic approach to the whole gay/lesbian relationship story line. But that's showbiz baby.

About my little Peanut's Pregnancy

This meme of sorts (survey) was taken from Facebook, but I took the time to fill it it out. So here it goes.

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Yes
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? No together for 5 years and now engaged
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? In utter disbelief as I didn’t think it would happen so fast.
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? No
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 25
6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I took a pregnancy test at home when my period was 4 days late. I really didn’t think I was pregnant as my period was late the month before from going off the pill so I figured my body was just adjusting… I had been super tired, moody and my breasts hurt (the latter two I attribute to PMS which isn’t uncommon for me)We had been on vacation back east so I thought I was tired from traveling and the humidity in the middle of the summer.
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Eric but I didn’t have to tell him he due to the tone of my voice when I called him into the bathroom. Then I told my friend and my sis.
8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? No
9. DUE DATE? April 10/2007
10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Only a handful of times.
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Smoothies and Tuna sandwiches.
12. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? I wanted a girl but had a boy. Deep down I knew Aaron was a boy.
13. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 30 lbs.
14. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Not really I had a bladder infection halfway through and test positive for GBS which antibiotics cleared up.
15. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? VGH
16. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 42.5 from the time my water broke till the time he was born. I ended up having to be induced with pitocin.
17. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Eric (partner)

18. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Eric, midwife, my L&D nurse and maybe one other nurse?
19. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? natural
20. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? TENS machine, morphine, gas and an epi. Epi + gas = good pain relief

21. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 6 lbs 9 oz.
22. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? April 1, 2008 07:34
23. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Aaron Woodinya Luvtano?
24. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST NOW? 10 months
25. WHAT AREA DO YOU LIVE IN? TMI
26. WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR CHILD DO IN THE DAY? Play, go for walks, coffee shops, Stars and Strollers, visit with friends, shop, baby talk and anything else I do!

Short and Sweet

I don't have the energy to write a proper post. My neck hurts and I am fighting some kind of virus/head cold. I over did it last week with the studying and I didn't sleep very well leading up to my midterm. I really do not know how I did. Some stuff I knew, some I didn't.

I have been thinking about food lately. Aaron's 1st birthday is coming up in a little less than 2 months and I am throwing him a party for family and friends and I want his cake to be perfect. I am not going crazy with a theme or anything. I just want to make this cake. And I want to do it from scratch so I am going to start playing around with cake recipe's and butter cream frosting's now so I don't screw it up come birthday party time. I am going to buy fondant for the spikes and try making my own from a recipe that I found that seems easy enough. Having never made fondant or butter cream frosting I need to practice. I have also been thinking about what food to serve. I think about it a lot. I don't know if I should BBQ or do sandwiches? As it will be at my Aunt's place I think I will stick to finger and party foods. I make a killer spinach dip, and Mexican dip. Throw in a cheese ball, a veggie, meat and cheese plate and a few other things and I think I'll be set.

Well I have 2 things to accomplish before hitting the sack which I want to do soon. Tidy the kitchen and get a massage for my neck.

And if you like what you read go ahead and delurk or better yet add me to your blog roll. ;)

Afghanistan?

What comes to your mind when you hear this word? To me it's the possibility of losing a loved one. Every time I hear that another Canadian soldier has been killed on the news I cringe. Eric may volunteer to go for 6 months. Now Eric is in the navy and you might be wondering why someone in the Navy would be going to a land war? Because the Canadian Forces(Army, Navy and Air Force) are one unit with 3 divisions. Eric has been in for almost a decade and has yet to have a deployment at sea for more than 2 months despite his tenure and he wants to serve his country. As he is in the Navy the jobs which can volunteer for over there are limited. There hasn't been one Canadian Sailor killed over there as he would probably never leave the base (Khadahar airfield)but there are always firts and that's what scares me. He called me today to ask me how I felt about him volunteering and I just said ask me when you get home. We've talked about it before and I am supportive of his career but right now I don't know how I feel about being at home with a 1 year old for 6 months solo. I am ready for him to go back to sea should he be posted as he wold most likely not be gone more than a few weeks at a time. But 6 months? My goodness.. Thousands of wives do it everyday with more kids than me so I am sure I can. It would fly by and I would survive.